Wednesday, March 11, 2009



I awoke to go for my swim but my body didn't' think it was a good idea so I just had a pee and went back to bed, giving myself permission to sleep until 8am. Someone tapped me on the shoulder at precisely 8am and I woke up. The tap was gentle and I did not jump. If that was a dream, it was very real. The tap was a real tap.


It reminds me of what Doctors and nurses put on my notes if I have to stay hospital: " if you need to wake this patient, do so from a safe distance. " Why would they write that? Well, if they don't they usually get hit. I can't help it. Even my John knows not to touch me when I am asleep and to call me from a safe distance. Even after all this time, I still have what is known as 'exaggerated startle response', one of the common traits of PTSD.


Which reminds me of a funny story at my expense. I was caught in heavy traffic on a road right next to Heathrow. As I sat there, I could see this 747 bearing down on me. I watched with mounting panic and eventually jumped out of car to run but realised I couldn't run from it so I threw myself on the road and covered my head. The 747 just flew over me and landed where it was headed, the runway. I did not know the runway was there and I could have sworn this plane was going to land on me. I really felt silly and slunk back into my car and drove off at a snails pace because of the traffic whereas I wanted to get away from all those people who had witnessed my mistake.


Oh and I have discovered that there is a side effect to the Colofac after all. I have stopped taking it for almost a week to see what difference it makes. I was concerned because I didn't think my poo ought to look like a dark Mr Whippy (here that is the ice cream that comes out when you pull a handle down on a ice cream machine. It's horrid stuff.)Anyway, I now know that that is the side effect of the drug. No big deal.


I have also not taken any drugs other than the morning and night heart and blood drugs. This morning, I have taken paracetamol and that is it. I am just seeing how all these work and seeing how and when I must use them and at what strength. Meaning I have three stages, paracetamol, paracetamol and codeine and Tramadol with the paracetamol. My back and hips are very sore this morning so I took the paracetamol and if that is not enough, I know to take the Tramadol too. I think it is a good idea to give my body a break form the drugs now and then.


I went and looked at the wheelchair with power. I liked it very much. It has a joystick. At first I found it hard to control, then I was shown how to set the speed first with a button. I was trying to control the speed with the joystick which is only for side to side and back to front movement. The machine is £1600, so not all bad as most others were £2500 to £4000.

I have to weigh this up. We can manage this in that it comes apart, will get in the car etc. However, if we are visiting a place that has several stairs we might be stuffed. All we do now is I get get out, and John carries the chair up. It won't be possible with this. Although I did say to John last night that we could ask someone for help. As I wrote that last sentence, my stomach gave a little flip of approval. So perhaps that is the answer. I have to say that this will take a lot of the fatigue away. It means John doesn't have to push when my arms five up or my shoulders are too sore. My shoulders are causing me trouble now whereas they didn't before. I have trouble getting dressed now because of them. Not so much pain but getting them to move. By this I mean the sockets.

EDIT 12:27pm : I have just come home with a Power Chair. Sorted.


Anonymous said...

I'm happy to hear there may be a power chair in your future! I would think that would help both of you.

Anonymous said...

Colin, I remember my agony at deciding to obtain a "handicapped" hang tag for my car to park closer to stores. I decided if I didn't need it I wouldn't use it, but I wasn't going to beat myself up if I DID need to use it and had it. Glad to hear you went ahead with the chair. Hope it helps some with the pain when you need it to - you and John should enjoy your time together instead of struggling to move you around. Good decision, I think (not that what I think matters a whit, of course, but I thought I'd tell you anyway! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Nothin's gonna stop ya now!

Unknown said...

Regarding the "tap"--- I absolutely believe that such things happen. I lost my love last year to a sudden heart attack, but sometimes when I am having a bad day or having difficulty with something I swear I feel him take my hand or touch the back of my neck like he used to do.

We are taken care of --- I really believe that.

Regarding your power chair --- zoom, zoom, zoom, you GO, boy!!!

Yarnhog said...

Good for you! I'm sure it will make a big difference in your ability to get around without help. (Now, can you convince my father?)

P. Harper said...

Congratulations on getting your new power chair. I'm sure you'll go places you never thought you could before. It will especially come in handy at the dog shows!

FuguesStateKnits said...

Hooray!!!!!:) Good for you both!
Happy for you:)

joannamauselina said...

More Power to you! In your new power chair.