Friday, October 28, 2005


Despite the cliches and typically arrogant prig, the pysch in it, this show is really entertaining. Loads of inaccuracies about what mediumship is and how it presents itself, but it is still a good show. I like Lesley Sharp First saw her in a program about a women's footy team.

There is another show, again entertainign, but ignorant about mediumship, is Medium, which if I recall is on Beeb 2. An American crime show I guess but with a twist. I don't find the main character sympathetic at all. However, it is worth watching if one bears in mind the claptrap about what mediumship is and how it works.


My consultaion with the DLA govt Dr went well. He took one look at me and wondered why he was there. He said he would fully support my claim and wondered why there was any doubt as to my condition.

I now also have x-ray evidence showing the disintegration of my spinal column at the neck and the lumbar region. I now have 4 diagnosed diseases. That sounds bad but it isn't really and could be much worse. Although I suppose I could be more concerned about the heart disease, I am more concerned about the spondiwhatsit. That could see me not walking at all. However, that isn't the case now and I don't think about it.
For now, I can still do much of what I want to do. I do not like being dependant. I can't just go and buy the dog food, for instance. Have to have John with me to carry. There are quite a few things that I can't do, like get undressed or dressed without help-mainly shoes. I love boots but have given up wearing them cos they are just too difficult. Housework. Now that is something else I can't do. Don't you pity me? Isn't it awful not being able to do housework? ;-) Not that i ever have. I have always done the minimum and now have a good excuse for not doing it at all!! With taking care of the dogs, keeping them clean and tidy, and making sure we don't pong of dogs, and with my knitting and reading and tv watching and pc time, i just don't have the time or energy for cleaning house. Perhaps i ought to get in a woman who does. Maybe there is a support group somewhere for people whose OCD takes the form of cleaning. I could go there and find someone or two or three to come and clean....(now don't get your knickers in a twist I know only too well how OCD affects people and it is serious and having grown up with the cleaning OCD I know it causes grief. My own OCD didn't extend to cleaning tho.....)
Anyway, speaking of tv watching, I find I have to be very choosy nowadays. Not time to watch just anything so i only record the important more high -brow stuff. Like Neighbours. I missed a whole week of episodes whilst we were away cos the Sky box thing failed. And it was a week of juice, I gather. Now Izzy has disappeared and well, I doubt karl killed her. Maybe Susan? ;-) It couldn't have been Paul-he is a changed man.....very believable don't you think?

Also we tend to watch most of what we want on dvd. We are on the 6th series of The West Wing which is EXCELLENT. So well made and acted.
Then we have 4 series of Six Feet Under to watch. And the first series of Desperate Housewives which has to be the best thing I have seen on tv for many years, if not the best thing ever.

As I only get to watch these whilst John is here, we only watch at the weekends. So i am watching Ali McBeal from the beginning. I didn't really see it when it was showing, just caught the odd bit. Anyway, I think it is very funny. I am one of those people that rarely laughs out loud at comedy but this show makes me LOL every episode. They are very funny people and I think they behave and think like any 12th step person would. They are like a bunch of addicts-food, drugs, booze, OCD whatever. Very funny.( I don't mean the characters are addicts - just they behave like such)

Unlike Sex In The City( or as an older firend calls it Sluts In The City). I tried and tried with this show. Okay the sex and rude bits were interesting(don't often see naked men on tv shows) but really, I thought all of these women were just plain dull and soooo self centred and not very likeable. Okay the one who had sex with anything in trousers was funny and likeable becasue she didn't seem so serious even tho she appeared totally self absorbed but in a funny way. The other 3 were just so damed serious and full of selfish angst.

It seems I ought to enjoy Will and Grace but i don't. All sorts of reasons. Mainly I find the characters annoying and again very self centred. I object to the lead role , a gay man, being played by a str8 guy. What, no gay actors? I also object to yet again having gay characters portrayed as hopeless and unable to commit and find love(Will) or promiscuous(the other guy whose name escapes me). Oh it's Jack. I just want to slap him. Karen? I was going to say there are plenty of drunk women like her but what is she? str8? Gay? Bi? Just nuts? A terribly selfcentred cow anyway. And as for Grace-she needs to grow up and realise the world does not revolve around her. Okay, I know it is supposed to funny and the character quirks could indeed be very funny but it just doesn't work. The people are obnoxious and the whole thing is offensive.

Frasier was my favourite comedy. Clever and funny. And yes, the two main characters, Frasier and Niles were self centred prigs but they were drawn well and the comedy was there. They weren't so obnoxious that you wanted to turn off. It was fun to see them dig their holes. Also, this could have been a great gay show. It was except that F and N were not gay. Other than that everything about this show was gay. F and N were typical of a certain type of upper class snobby gay man. The campness of the whole thing, the very witty and caustic comments. Very funny. I wonder if the actors knew they were playing gay men of certain type ?Pity it has closed now.

This N That

Another rainy day today. Great fun with the dogs! Newspaper down in kitchen and hallway. Yesterday the temp was in the 70's. I have my doubts about global warming. Having read about and seen tv docs about climate change over the centuries, it would seem to me that this is normal. One doc about the history of Europe showed us just how much our land and climate have changed. Why, just because we now live as we do, with our cities etc, do we think that nature will not carry on doing what it is doing? Do we not relaise we live in a finite world? Yes, we need to do something about our pollution but I don't think that will stop nature's changes.

My aran sweater is about to be frogged. I have decided it isn't what I had in mind. I am going to so something with more cables and no DMS and with modified drop shoulders I think.

You'd think the way scientists go on about what we eat and drink and smoke or not, that if we followed their advice, as contradictory as it is, that we will live forever. When are we going to accept death? We have got to the point now that we blame ourselves for dying. That whatever our diesease is, we are to blame. Heart disease, cancer, MS, a host of diseases of the body, all are caused by us, either by bad behaviour, bad thinking or just plain badness. Or it is direct punishment from 'god'. So we have science on the one hand blaming us 'scientifually', the self righteous religionists blaming us and a vengeful God and the New Age pratts telling us we were not good enough and if only we thought right and forgave right and went around with a stupified smile on our serene little faces, we would not get sick and die. They all live in cloud cockoo land. We DIE. All of us do. We cannot avoid it. It is the only thing we can be certain of. We will die. Life is terminal.

The good news is that we survive it! Huh? Survive what? Death of course. Our bodies die and rot away but we do not. And it doesn't matter who you are, whether or not you are perceived as good or wicked, you cannot cease to exist. And no, there is no vengeful judgemental god waiting for you to either place you on a pink cloud and give you a harp or throw you into a firey pit. Nope. As in this life, where our thinking determines to a certain extent our life experience, so it will be in the non physical world although our thinking will be all there is so therefore our surroundings will be exactly as our thinking dictates. If we are negative and self centred I hardly think our surroundings will be heavenly. However, whatever our sprititual state, progress is ALWAYS open to ALL. There is no point of no return. There is no line for you to cross that will forever leave you in darkness. No. Progress is always open to you - and it is up to you to choose it. You can either face the light and work toward it or you can turn your back and walk the other way. It is up to you. However, if you turn your back and walk the other way, no matter how far, you will always be able to turn around.
We all will have to face ourselves. The good, the bad and the indifferent. we will feel how we caused another to feel. We will feel the joy, the peace, the relief we brought to others. Conversely, we will also feel the suffering we brought others. What better justice is there?

It is strange to me that whilst people talk of God, even religion, or spirituality, people ignore the real evidence that we survive death. They balk at the idea or are embarassed by it or even think one is loopy to believe it. Yet, there is so much evidence out there. John and I have made a study of this for almost 25 years. Niether of us doubt that we survive death. And no, the evidence is not the stuff you see on Living TV, the psychic mumbo jumbo crap, which has been edited and most of it just plain insulting. However, there is genuine mediumship and it takes place daily all over the world. Along with it is the misguided 'mediumship', the fraudulent, the poor mediumship, the ego trippers. It is up to you to sift thru it and not just dimiss the whole thing as crap. Every day people are receiving confirmation that we do indeed survive physical death.
Keep your mind open, always.

The only unforgivable sin is that of a closed mind. A closed mind cannot be reached and thus it's sin(error) cannot be corrected.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Chipolata ordeal

This is tilly and her son, solo, now almost 6 weeks of age and very cute. Not a very good pic but the digicam ran out of juice so I'll have to wait to try for a better one.

We just got back from our trip to Germany. We had a 4 hour delay at the Chunnel and got into France at 5.30pm . We then drove to Namur in Belgium where we stayed the night. The following day we drove to Lake Konstanz, on the German, Swiss, Austrian border. We drove thru Luxembourg and France to get there. Our hotel was very nice and we had a suite, bang in the middle of Konstanz opposite the railway station.
Spent the Monday walking around Konstanz, with me using the w/chair too. It was cold and I had to buy some thermal long john's! Very thin tho and comfy to wear. I only found one yarn shop and it wasn't very interesting.
The following day we drove to Lindau which is a beuatiful island town on the lake. Couldn't use the chair there at all cos the streets were cobbled and that made it hard forJohn to push and was too painful anyway for me as it juddered all the time. John has the patience of a siant. I walk really slowly with my sticks and so he does too and he is 6ft 1" so that makes it harder. After Lindau we drove to Oberstaufen. This involved driving up high thru the mountins along winding rounds with local people right behind me driving fast! Yet the roads were narrow and there was no barrier between my car and falling off the edge! I drove very slowly around blind bends etc much to the annoyance of these pratts who still wanted to drive at 60mph!
However, the scenery was beautful. I really adore German architecture(and Austrian), the houses are wonderful. The valleys and mountians make your jaw drop. I bought a jacket and 2 waistcoats and 2 shirts, all Austrian/German Landhaus style(traditional).
Although we had intended to stay until Thursday, i decided we should leave Wednesday and head for Heidelberg. I did the right thing. The weather turned nasty. We stopped off at Rottweil(where the Rottweiler dog hails from). There is where the rain started. We got to Heidelberg at 7pm and it was still wet and I had been driving all day.The report said the rain was staying till the weekend. We were lucky, the next day the sun shone all day and we spent it walking around Heidelberg-a beautiful city. Cobbled steets again so no chair.
I went from Friday to Wednesday without having a poo and I tell you, I was fit to burst. I felt so bloated and horrid. Of course the pain killers, codeine, bung you up. So i stopped taking them after Monday and trebled my does of laxitives. Still no joy. Finally, I decided I would eat foods I am allergic to-namely wheat. So Tuesday, i did precisely that. I was expecting pain and to feel sick. No. I did get a cramp and then finally
I managed a movement but it was a rather pathetic attempt at evacuation. All that effort for a hard chipolata. So I took more laxative and the next day ate more wheat. So Thursday in Heidelberg after much panting and pushing, I managed another hard chipolata. I was not feeling good. I was bloated, hungover from the wheat and now getting very uncomfortable.
Friday we drove home, or rather to Calais. 500miles thru heavy rain and wind. Hotel was again very nice and we even went and visted Cite Europe which was just another mall really. I threw all sense and caution to the wind and we bought food to eat in our hotel room-I bought bread rolls, wholewheat! I felt stuffed afterwards and was really looking forward to having the runs I always get if I eat wheat. Did it work? Of course bloody not! By the time we got on the Chunnel the following morning, I felt pregnant and really wanted to off load. Driving up the M20, not more than 20 mins into Engalnd, I could feel the earth begin to move and I had to stop rather qucikly at the Maidstone service. Aaaahhh-reflief at last. Still no runs but at least I dumped a good load this time and did so several more times that day.
Today of course I feel like shit, hung over, weak and tired and knowing the next few days will be tough as I detox.
Did I buy some yarn? Of course I did. I bought some oild wool for making myself a Landhasu style jacket, cardi. These are made in garter stitch.
It is always a let down to come back home after a drive around mainland europe. Back to crap food, crap service, being ripped off. Our supermarkets are appalling compared to the mainland, expecially France and their Carrefore. Our m'way service staions are a total rip off, appalling food at very expensive prices served by usually miserable gits who don't know what they are doing. The m'way services on the mainland are sooo different. good service, good prices and very good food. I don't know why in the UK we put with such crap and bad service. I think it is because we don't like to 'make a fuss' and so we allow ourselves to get trodden on. I really can't believe how bad our supermarkets are and that we put up with it. Bad service, very limited choice and high prices to boot.
If I were rich, I'd go and do my weekly shop in France!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Busy Busy Busy

What a weekend! I had to drive at the last minute 420 miles return between 7pm and 3.15am last night to take one of my bitches to be mated. Why so sudden? Well, i realised she was close to ready and today I have to pick up John from Heathrow as he returns from a business trip. Tomorrow, he would not want to drive to take the bitch and nor would I since I am having to drive 200 plus this evening. So I left Finty with her beau and will collect her next weekend, hopefully well and truly shaggged and up the duff.
This is done on the passap E6000 using OX/N. The yarn is wonderful. A 2/15 weight. 50% Merino, 25% Cashmere and 25% Silk. Makes a medium weight sweater.This is another 100% Cashmere. I really like this colour called Lovat which is a green heather mix.