Monday, February 22, 2010

PAIN IS OUR GUIDE

I have posted my new yarns and new colourways on KNITMAN’S KITCHEN.

It is cold and snowy and icy again.

Yesterday, with John’s help, I shaved Nechung’s coat off. She really doesn’t tolerate being bathed and groomed now so I thought it kinder to just cut the coat off again. She seems much happier. Her tumour, at least the visible one, doesn’t seem any bigger though it is now obvious with no coat to hide it.

I have not had a goo start to my day. I have intermittent severe pain emanating from the middle of my back, to the right. I normally only get this at night time and moving stops it abruptly. Today I am not sure what is stopping it or starting it up again. Maybe being on the PC? Certainly if I stand up and move it more often than not stops it. Drugs don’t affect it.

I have thought for quite some time now that psychic pain, like physical pain, is a sign that something is wrong. I have also wondered how one can judge whether or not one is travelling a forward and upward path rather than doing the opposite and flailing about in lies and self deceit and confusion from all the information available?

I have come to the considered conclusion that my own psychic well being, my happiness and contentment, is a measure of the veracity or not of my ideas and meaning creations. Since ditching old ideas and replacing them with new ones, my experience of life has changed from one of misery to one of love, creativity, pleasure, happiness, optimism, contentment, consolation.

My previous received ideas of being a defective, evil person, of a vengeful punishing God who required belief in an unbelievable story and total submission or one would be damned eternally caused nothing but evil: misery, suffering, excruciating pain, desire for death and 24/7 mental, emotional and spiritual pain.

Pain is our guide. Place your hand on heat, it hurts, you move your hand. Psychic pain is felt but it is not so apparent that to stop it one has to change the cause: the ideas/beliefs held.

We really do create our own world by our thoughts and ideas and the meaning we create from our experience. Often we are taught ideas and beliefs as TRUTH and this is the root cause of most of human suffering. None of us knows TRUTH and we cannot ever do so. We each develop our own worlds and we inhabit them. We each create differing meanings and ideas from them.

PS: it became apparent to me yesterday that my new found desire to wear colour is really simply explained by the fact I FEEL better when wearing colour. I bought a really cheap pair of lounge trousers decorated with the word Wild Thing and lost of bright colours on a white background. I put them on and immediately felt uplifted by their colourfulness. So the mystery is solved! I have been aware that colour affects people for years but I didn’t think about it in relation to my clothing till just now.

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