Thursday, August 25, 2005

DLA Tribunal

Well this was a complete waste of time. I got there and they adjourned it str8 away! One because my representative was not with me, which they knew a couple of months ago that he wouldn't be, and because they wanted more from my GP. So why didn't ask for this months ago? This has gone since November 04. Now it will be more months of waiting. I cannot walk far and then with the aid of sticks. I cannot bathe myself anymore. I use a wheelchair when out for any length of time. I can't cook unless just heating stuff in the microwave. What exactly do they want?
Also, you can tell what sort of power game they are playing. You arrive and are escorted into a large room and sat on a small chair in front of panel of three people with a large desk between us. Do they think we are all stupid or easily intimidated? Do they really expect us to not know the game they are playing?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Oh Pigs!

Tomorrow I have to go to a DLA tribunal. Despite my consultant and GP writing and confirming my disabilty and my illness, I still have to go and prove I am disabled! Quite how I do that I don't know since having clear written evidence didn't help. Perhaps when they see me hobbling on my sticks....

On the Passap E6000, UX/N, merino wool.

On The Passap E6000, BX/FX, merino wool.
On the Passap E6000, BX/FX. Merino wool.
merino wool on the Passap E6000, bx/fx.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Rain Rain Rain/Pups

Yet another wet, wet, wet day. Really horrid summer this year. Mostly cool and wet, some very hot humid days but mostly cool and wet. Not good dog days. I don't normally care what the weather is like, but rain is a pain with dogs that don't like it. So it's newspaper down for them . The pups are very full of themselves. They bark at the door when it's knocked. They howl and scream when it's time, in their opinion, for me to get up. They seem to think 5am or even 4am is reasonable. They also do the same at feed time. And if I go out, I am greeted on my return by bedlam.
Little dears that they are.

I have sign on my door requesting that sales people and charities and religous hawkers do not knock. Do they take any notice? Well, charities do. The sales people don't and neither do the Jehovah's Witnesses. why would I buy any goods, or listen to someone spout on about their interpretation of god and life, when they can't read? I just close the door, biting my tongue because I really want to say '%$£"*&^((%$£!!!!!!'

Finally finished the front. It was meant to be the back, and I forgot. The reason being is that I have two different dyelots and decided to do back in one and the rest in the other. Now it will have to the other way around!
Close up of stitch. The diamonds are created with twisted sts filled with DMS.
Neck close up, front. Same interupted rib as body.
You dare.....!
Oh leave me be!
Why are you pointing that at me?

Not as sweet as he looks. At least not at 5am when he and his litter mates think I ought to get up.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Jelly Legs

Very wet day today so I have newspaper down in various strategic places for the pups to use. They are smart and don't need telling. They are 8 weeks old today.

I was disturbed by some rowdy male voices and it made me rather nervous. However, it is just some blokes playing footy in the rain in the field behind our house. I still get nervous at these sort of nosies but since we have lived here we have had no trouble. My car doesn't get wrecked, we don't have bricks put thru our windows and I don't get assaulted. We lived with that for a number of years and is the reason we moved out of the city. So much for city people being more 'tolerant'. Where we live now is quiet, small population, a country town. I know loads of people to say Hi to and plenty are friendly. Those that are not, just ignore us. I am grateful for that. Much rather be ignored than abused.

I am having a flare of my condition. Been relatively okay for the last couple of weeks but Wednesday the pain started to impinge on my consciouness more than usual. I went to Tesco yesterday evening to get cottage cheese for the dogs and thought my legs were going to give way completely. They bloody hurt and were very wobbly. Also had a chat with one of the ladies there as I am wont to do. Now, John and I usually stop and chat to her and have done for 6 years. Well, last night she was talking about her finance problems as her husband is sick now. I said I was lucky becasue John earned good money. Her reply was 'I hope he pays you good rent since he lives in your house.' !!!!! I didn't say a word. Some people just live in a different universe.

Today, at 11.30 am I sat down for my meditation and woke up 3 hours later. Either I have grown tremendously spiritually as a result or I was knackered and needed the sleep. I think the latter. I tend to do TM twice a day. The morning one I am confident I do. The evening one I am never sure if I did it or napped for 20 minutes.

It finally dawned on me that i really am no longer able to do craft fairs. Yes, I can still deny the ramifications of my illness. However, I did come to the realisation that I cannot do the fairs anymore. Soooo....I followed the suggestion of someone and gave Ebay a go. I sold 5 sweaters. Not for much but not bad at all for a first time. Even if I only get back the yarn costs(whcih I more than did), it is at least soemthing and better than just sticking my work in a cupboard!

This was done on the Passap E6000 using UX/N and pure wool, all slightly diffrent counts(thicknesses). I 'painted' the pattern in Paint Shop Pro and then converted it.
I am rather pleased with this. It's raglan in style. The yarn is pure wool and a rusty brown. My own design, knitted with the garter carriage. Shaping with the GC does take a lot longer but I find it so worthwhile to persevere. I either hand knit or sew up whilst waiting for the shaping rows. Or I work on the PC which is next to machine.

I did the neck using the same 'interupted' rib as I used for the hems. I really wasn't sure if it would work but am very pleased with the result.

Monday, August 08, 2005


I am Soenke. I am 6.5 weeks old.

It's mine! I WILL eat it.
We are Dharma and Alice. Dharma is the mum of the pups.
I am Tilly and I am delicate cos I am in whelp. Don't point at me!
I am Nechung. The BOSS.
I am Finty and I am one year old.


yes, this is me.

Me showing friendVannessa's Mum, the joys of Addi Turbo Circular needles. Carol now wants some of her very own.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Passap Sweater

This was knitted on the E6000. I used LX/AX<>. It has set in sleeves. The design is my own, done in DAK. The yarn is 50% Merino 50% acrylic,double stranded, approx 2x 2/24's
Knit at ten 3.25/3.25 which would be the tightest it can go, for this yarn. I also used the comb and weights. I find this machine knits better when using the comb and weights, especially when doing any form of tuck stitch which the backing of this is. I also have the Wooley Weights so when the Passap comb and weights are almost to the ground, I replace the comb with WWs. The pattern is a 40 st repeat so could have been knit on Duo 80 with Deco unit. This was also the first DJ sweater I have sewn together using mattress stitch. I use mattress for most things and had wrongly assumed it would not work on DJ. As you can see, it does.
This is the 'ribbing'. It is tech 118 on the E6000 or BX<> on both beds for the Duo 80. I knit it at ten 2.75 on both beds. I find this welt is good for these sweaters, pulls in enough but not too much. It also works especially well for short welts, which I mostly perfer.

This is the first neck I have joined on the Passap. I used 3 strands to match the body weight. ten was 4.24/4,25 and in 2x1 rib. I knit the rows required and then one row of st st after transfering all sts to back bed. I then dropped the front bed and brought up the knitting between the beds wrong side facing me. I pulled the needles thru cut neck edge. I then knitted back by hand and latched off. I hand sewed tha neck cast on edge to the inside, sewing thru the stitch heels created by the joining row.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


This is one of the 3 sweaters i am currently working on. I knit this today on the E600, lx/ax<>, using 50 merino/50 acrylic. I did the design in DAK. This is a set in sleeve sweater.


I find 'speaking my mind' via email so much easier than in real life. My heart still pounds but I KNOW no one is going to kill me or hurt me physically. 46 years old and I still fear that. The amount of times I was so nearly killed, luck saved me. The worst I remember, (disregarding being throttled) was having a case of books thrown at my 10 year old head and having the other side of my head smashed into an ornate cofffee table leg, very nearly killing me and then being blamed and shouted at because of course causing this to happen was my fault. From that night on I didn';t ever kiss my dad goodnight. Stupid fool was proud that i had 'grown out of it'. Did it occur to him that I hated him? That I never grew out of wanting him to hug me and love me and make me feel safe instead of making me sick with fear? It took years to give that hope up.
Well, I guess it isn't too much of a surprise to realise I have had a crappy week and my emotional state is a bit volatile to say the least. It is only just over a week since I heard of my mum's death and all that entails. I am also now having a 'flare'and in much more pain physically than usual. Even this blasted Tens thing is not helping, so walking the dogs has become too much just now.
Anyway, so what did i do? Allow some inconsequential slight to become a big thing and went to town on it on one of my lists! Oh I still think that what i think has gone on has, but I really should have ignored it. After all, it isn't really what is bothering me is it? No, even I know that! I guess when i feel in so much pain and really wound up too, I just don't find it so easy to let things go and I can make a fool of myself and make things worse. Misdirected anger and hurt don't help me at all. Yes, maybe i had a little cause to be a little annoyed, maybe. Yet I let these situations blow up and become my childhood scenarios and then people become the enemy and off I go protecting myself in such a way as to make myself look foolish! So much for not letting people live rent free in my head!
I think letting go is a process. It waxes and wains. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and other times it consumes me. Of course, my physical condition doesn't help-the more pain I am in the more i am likely to react in ways I'd rather not. So any way, once again I feel excluded from a 'select club' of people who share a common interest. They aren't a select club, it just makes me feel that way.For whatever reason my face doesn't fit. I have never been good at sucking up. I like to think for myself. Mainly cos I don't trust anyone. Another oops! Well, truth be told, I don't trust anyone. I know it isn't logical that just because those that brought me into the world were so sick and dangerous, doesn't mean that no one can be trusted but I can't bring myself to believe that. I also, paradoxically, still tend to believe that others are coming with good intentions. I don't understand why people wouldn't be. (Oh grow up!) So I still get miffed when I perceive they are not. I got into so much trouble in my past from this very mistake and I still make it! On the other hand, although I know loads of people and can't go out without loads saying Hi, I still keep myself pretty much to myself. I let very few people in and when I do, it is always by reminding myself that this too is probably a mistake but I am willing to give it a go.
Today, I sat for a while in the garden watching the puppies play, along with the adults. What joy. I am so lucky. I could just sit there and enjoy them. They are the same towards me no matter what i am feeling, how I look, what mistakes I make. Oh and I also discovered that Tilly is definately pregnant, by palpation. Next week I shall have her scanned to see how many. A good idea I find, becasue then when the labour is here, I know more or less what to expect.
Anyway, I have prattled on enough.