Friday, February 13, 2009


To those who grew up healthily, were not abused and not subjected to a fundamentalist ideology, it can be very difficult to understand those of us who were. They do not understand the mind control techniques by abusers. Please understand that I include in the term abusers those who bring up their children in their religious ideology.

Lets take a look at the religious angle first. One is taught the religious beliefs of the parents or school or other adult sin power over the child. A child naturally believes the adults around him/her. The is power that adults have over children is well known and well abused. Heard the Jesuit saying: 'give me the child until he seven and I shall give you the man'?

Tell the child that if they are not good, not what we tell you to be, you will burn in Hell for eternity. Tell the child that to doubt is wicked in itself., Tell the child that to question is wicked. Tell the child that it is Satan who puts those doubts in their mind. tell the older child who presents scientific facts which refute the religious teachings that Satan planted the evidence in order to fool him or her and he or she will got to Hell! Tell the child that they are flawed, their thinking is wicked, they do not know their own mind, if they dare to question. Who are they to question the Holy See? The nun? The priest? The pastor? How wicked they must be.

Now the adult who abuses the child in a physical or emotional or sexual way uses precisely the same techniques. They will deny the child's memory, experience, feelings. They will tell the child that

1, it did not happen
2. if it did happen it was the child's fault
3. the child is wicked so deserved it
4. it was the child's fault that the adult lost control
5. the child wanted it
6. how dare the child dishonour their parent?
7. the child was imagining it
8. the child has no reason to feel bad
9. the child is deluded
10. the child's perceptions are inaccurate.

In both cases it is highly unlikely the child will grow up to be a healthy functioning adult. It is highly likely that they will grow up to follow the same religious ideology and continue the abuse. Unfortunately, some of the sexually abused will grow up to do the same. Many also continue the violence and emotional abuse. They know nothing different.

The person brought up in such a way lives in perpetual fear and self doubt. They do not trust themselves or their ability to think and reason. They do not trust their feelings. How can they? They have been taught not to. They have been taught they are flawed and wicked.

For those abused into a religious ideology, they can grow up hate filled and believe they are love filled. They can bomb abortion clinics, kill gays, stone adulteresses send planes into buildings, beat children senseless, kill children in the effort to exorcise demons. They can do all this in the name of Love because they have been corrupted. They have been brainwashed. they have been taught to think this way.

A victim of sexual and physical and emotional abuse can continue into adulthood still being abused. They choose partners and friends who abuse them. They don't see the abuse because all they see is that they are rightly being punished for being a wicked person. they spend their lives trying to be good and therefore stop the pain. if only they were good, if only they could get their act together, they would not be treated badly. it never occurs to them that they are not at fault and that the way those around them are treating them is wrong and not their fault.

If they dare to start to question their badness, to dare to suggest that their parents or family or others in control over them, were abusive, they will be subjected to further stronger abuse and denial.

It takes enormous strength and courage to escape this mind set. There is huge fear involved. Huge pain. Such that it could kill you or send you insane. I am proof that it can be achieved. There are others like me who managed to escape.

Still there are many others who do escape and still many othIi met at the Knitting fair who home schooled her children because she was a fundamentalist Xtian. My heart aches for her and my heart fears greatly for her poor children that she is abusing in the most wicked an insidious way and with the full sanction of the government.

Our government sanctions the abuse of children by allowing faith schools. The physical abuse of children is sanctioned by the law allowing the circumcision of babies and children. The barbaric mutilation of boys like this is so commonplace that we don't even see it as abuse! Yet when done to a girl, we do. One cannot compare pain or abuse. Abuse is abuse, there are no gradings!

The world we live in, the pain and suffering all around us is there because WE ALLOW IT. If we don't allow it, we cause it. WE PUT OUR IDEAS ABOVE THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OR OURSELVES AND OUR YOUNG.We pass on our fear and shame and guilt to out young. Above all we pass on the inability to see the pain and suffering and it's cause.

How can one believe people are evil? Is it not clear that the evil perpetrated by people is seen as good by them? And for those who commit evil acts, such as torture, or the physical punishment of children, do so because they are releasing their own pain? They have become twisted and corrupted by those who had control over them.

Actions and ideas can be evil and result in evil. Human beings are not.


Iris said...

Yes, it does work this way. Even were it true - one religion's beliefs are correct - how can anyone trust, love, believe in a god that is supposedly all knowing and loving and think said god would damn those who don't know the "correct" belief to a burning and tormenting hell forever. Give me a break!

Rev. Donald Spitz said...

Of course you are too much of an anti-Christian bigot to publish this, but the truth is, most, if not all problems on the planet earth are from people like you, people who reject Jesus Christ. Our prisons are filled with people, like you, who reject Jesus Christ. Most, if not all; rapes, murders, robberies and thefts are committed by people, like you, who reject Jesus Christ. AIDS is mainly spread by people who reject Jesus Christ and have sex outside of marriage. Children AIDS get it from people who reject Jesus Christ.
I hope you will turn from your sins and receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and escape the fires of eternal hell. Turning from your sins and giving your life to Jesus Christ is the only way you can escape the fires of hell and receive everlasting life. If you persist in your sins and continue to turn your back on Jesus Christ, you will be lost forever.
SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.

FugueStateKnits said...

Abuse is huge and endemic, yet people like you, and Indigo and so many others - who have posted here or elsewhere - do the even more enormous and courageous work of recovery. I don't know what it is that causes you to seek light and truth and what caused indigo to shatter rather than to be like his abusive father and stepmonster, but I suspect it is something spiritual. somtehing that cannot be calculated by mere science. As I read your post, I couldn't help but think of the words of Jesus "Woe be unto you who lead one of these little ones astray - it would be better for you to have a millstone around your neck and thrown into the deepest lake." How anyone can treat a child like that and not tremble at those words is beyond me!
Thanks for what you do!:)

Iris said...

Oh, wow! Fuguestateknits has left such a beautiful and accurate comment. THAT is a person living as Christianity is meant to be.

Perhaps the Rev. Donald Spits (sic) hasn't been handling enough snakes lately. I know where he can find a nice bunch of vipers he can use to prove his virtuousness.

Come on, Donnie, prove your "faith."

GJabouri said...

Chuck Palahniuk wrote a nice parody of one who "escapes" a fundie religious cult, sees through their tactics, and then proceeds to start his own cult. His book is called "Survivor", and like all his books is not for the faint of heart.