Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Show

The show went well. 14 in the class, Micah was 3rd. At 23 months he is not mature yet, which is very common for this breed though some of course mature rapidly.

I did find it stressful, really wanted to be home. Did have stomach pain and at one point thought I might be overwhelmed by feelings. Both just passed off. I did plenty of deep breathing. The stomach discomfort just went way and I did not feel overwhelmed.

Just much more tired than usual. I think it will just take some time to get back my equilibrium and feel steady.

Yesterday was the best day for weeks, I felt able to cope and today was better still though I didn't realise this until after I got home from the show.

I still feel apprehensive about my emotions. I am pretty certain that I have got to the bottom of it, that I have spewed out the last of the filth. However, I feel like I ma walking on thin ice still and am keeping myself occupied and as calm as I can. Tears are still pretty much close to the surface, I don't mind that. It's the gut wrenching fear inducing sobbing I hope is done with. It physically hurts and is so exhausting.
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