i don't know that this is a bad thing or out of control. I have been crying most of the day. rolling around on the floor clutching my stomach type crying. after the tears the discomfort there feels better. i seem to recall something like this before-stomach pain which went when i cried.
i am so shocked that this has happened again so long after the last time. i didn't expect grief came back with such force. I am feeling better though and less fearful.
First Quarter Review:) Warning a LONG post!
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9 comments:
I came to see the sock, which is lovely. I am sorry that you are suffering today, I hope you feel better soon.
Hi Colin,
Sorry to hear you are feeling bad. The Dr. took me off interferon about a month ago. I feel better, but not great. I love the socks. The puppies are gorgeous too. I am planning a trip to Spain in 2009 for the World NA Conference. I went to the one in San Antonio this year and enjoyed myself immensely. I'm hoping to be able to spend a month or so in Europe, as I don't know if I will ever be able to afford to go again. I figured I'd travel around and see all the places I have hesrd about. London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, etc. I want to travel around the UK and visit you and a couple of other people I converse with on the knitting machine group. One of the ladies lives in the Orkneys and has invited me to see her seaweed eating sheep. As the date is set and gets closer, I will be making more definite plans for my itenerary and hopefully get to see you and some of the others.
I hope you feel better soon,
Allen
Sorry to hear that you don't feel well. Perhaps the coming of the pupies made you too nervous ?
Lovely socks but so sad to hear you are under the weather. Hopefully you will be well soon.
Lovely sock, so bright and cheerful, but so sad that you are under the weather. Hopefully you will be better soon.
Sorry you are hurting, but glad your body took over so you could get it all out. It's hard to go through what you did alone. But I'm sure John is with you in spirit - as we all are!
hugs,
Joan
You knit beautiful things and your dog makes beautiful puppies. And so, I think you too, must be a beautiful person. Give yourself a hug from me.
Hugs... crying can give a relief that is sometimes very literally.
Oh, Colin.... I am so sorry. I had a great childhood--bosom buddies, the great outdoors all four seasons, a small town where everyone knew everyone else, and parents who took care of us. I was a young adult before I realized the horrible things adults can do to a child. It was a stunning revelation.
When I was 47 I was a survivor of a home invasion and multiple rapes at gunpoint. I had the advantage of being an independent adult to give me strength. Of course I was upset and frightened, but I was also mad and as a result, I worked with police, the DA, and the jury when the trial occured. They are all in prison for 99 years each. Anger, with judgement can be a very good thing.
I am not ashamed for I did nothing wrong. Am I still affected? Yes. New steel doors, security light in back yard, I paid for a street light on the corner of my property. I have since moved, and there are nightlights all over my house and my attitude toward sexual activity has never been the same.
I am so glad that this happened when I was an adult and had a better understanding of the world. The tension you feel probably causes a lot of physical pain (in addition to your other health problems). I still take an antidepressent (Lexapro now which is quite mild) but my shoulders and neck are tense all the time.
A couple of years ago, an acquaintance, who knew about the rapes, came up behind me, poked my back and said "hey" quite loudly. That startled and freightened me quite a bit. Boy did I go off on him, seriously....he never did that again.
Have you tried volunteering as a counselor to similarly abused children? Perhaps that could help you as well as them.
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