Friday, May 29, 2009


I was talking with Lia in Germany and had to cut her short because I needed to go you know where cos of you know what.

I was feeling sorry for myself. I took some pills, went to bed. Woken up by dogs barking, yelled at them to shut it, and went back to sleep. Later my neighbour knocked on the door to hand me a parcel she had taken delivery of for me. Now I know why the dogs barked.

After my nap I felt better and I even managed to pick up dog doo in the garden. I felt a little to free 'n' easy and realised I was wearing just my nightshirt and when I bent forward my bits were swinging in the wind. I thought I did not want to make any peering neighbours envious and went back inside to put trousers on. Sigh. It really has not been a good day. I got my trousers all twisted and yes, I fell over again, only this time I took a while to get back up. My hips and knee took the brunt so that's them buggered for a while. I still picked up the shit though.

I forgot to feed the dogs at their usual time. I forgot to feed myself. Everything has been arse upwards today.

The one thing that has gone well though is my Schaefer 'Anne' yarn sock on the 1.5mm needles (yes that is right, 1.5mm). I am almost up to my heel turn and the needles are still str8. Amazing. All my 2mm and 2.25 are bent. At 12 sts and 16 rows to the inch, they feel really good, just right for cocks.

Perhaps one of you could come up with a good reason as to why by balance is crap. I fall all the time. Or rather I stumble. Indoors, outdoors, wherever, I stumble everyday, perhaps several times. I rarely fall as I am usually using two sticks. It isn't just the obvious, like trying to get up from sitting, or getting out of bed, or moving forward as in walking. I also 'go' even when stood still talking. I just suddenly start to topple. When I asked my Dr about this she gave me some silly age related story that over 30 we all start to not be able to balance so well! Bollocks. John is 62 and he doesn't do this. When I go out, I don't see people toppling all over the place nor falling. Oh and I am also very clumsy, I drop things all the time. I can no longer write and can't type proficiently which I used to be able to do.

I have arthritis of the spine, fibromyalgia, heart disease and an 'unspecified' neurological problem which the neuro explained was my brain shutting off certain bits because it was overloaded with pain signals, thus why I get confused and my stutter comes back and I forget things. I really space out. He didn't think I had MS.

Now what the hell is up with my balance then? And why can't I write or type now? My hand writing is illegible even to me and it hurts to attempt it and takes much concentration and still comes out crap. The typing I can do but not at 80wpm and not accurately now. I use dot be very good at two finger typing, no errors. Not now. 50 is too young for age to explain it.
And my eyes sight changes from -3.25 to -2.25 in each eye every time I have them tested! The last time they were 2.25 in each and this time they were -2.75 and -2.5.This works out expensive. (and no it isn't the optometrist pulling a fast one cos I have used at least 3 different ones)


Indigo said...

Indigo Incarnates

Man! I am so sorry you're having these problems. It doesn't sound like your doctor really knows what's going on. Is there a different doctor you can see?

I have an online friend who also gets overwhelmed with fibromalgia pain. She can't work either.

I hope things can get better somehow.

Nan said...

How awful. I'm with Indigo, can you find another doctor? It sounds as if this one may be missing something. And as far as the pain goes, a friend of mine who is a doctor told me once, that there was absolutely no excuse for doctors not to find relief for their patients. He thought it was just ignorance on the provider's part.

I hope you can find relief soon. I swear by acupuncture, but I imagine that you've tried that already.

Yarnhog said...

I don't think doctors really know much about how the brain works. They're all taught to act like they know everything, when in fact, most of the time, they're as clueless as the rest of us. (I once had a "growth" in my brain that was causing me to have seizures, and after six months of testing, they still couldn't figure out what it was or what to do about it. And then it went away on its own!) Your balance difficulties could easily be related to your "unspecified" neurological problem. As for what to do about it, I wish I had a suggestion. That just sucks.

Denise said...

I had a friend that was not diagnosed with MS for three years and she had the same balance issues. I think you should see another neurologist cause it sure sounds like you could seriously hurt yourself. And all your friends do NOT want you to be hurt, ya hear me? So go to the doctor and dont worry us so much. If we didnt care we wouldnt leave comments or even read your blog.

Love ya!