Saturday, May 09, 2009


It really surprises me that so many women now behave as aggressively and rudely as many men have always done. In the pool this morning, a woman deliberately swam into my way, I saw her looking to make sure, and when I asked her to 'excuse me, please' she said no and mouth off at me. She then got out of the pool in huff and deliberately kicked me as she did so. From where she was she couldn't have done it accidently.

Last night in the supermarket, yet again I had to contend with a woman leaning right over my lap, thus preventing me moving, whilst she got what she wanted, with not so much as a word or a look in my direction.

All of my friends are women. I have no male friends at all apart from John. I have no idea why. I can understand not having str8 male friends but I don't have gay male friends either. As far as I am aware, no men follow my blog.

The last time I had male friends was when I was a boy, pre puberty. Once I sprouted, that was the end of my male friendships.

Until last year I had no male singer sin my collection of music. Oh I had the odd pop song by a man, but all the albums I buy are by women. Last year I found I really liked James Blunt and I have both his albums. i mentioned this to a str8 sales person in a music shop and his response was 'he sings like a girl'!!!

In the past I thought the explanation for the lack of male relationships was my fear of men. I still have that fear but not as much as I used to. However, as I also don't have gay male friends, and men str8 or gay, seem not to take to me, I guess it isn't my fear of them or str8 men's fear of me.

I DO have men in my life but they are husbands of female friends. I like them and they like me. I feel comfortable with them and they with me. Three have a paternalistic attitude towards me, I think, and the other treats me like a woman.

I was once told by a woman that the reason I get on with women so well was not the reason I thought. I assumed it was that they felt comfortable with me because they knew I wasn't going to try to get into their knickers. She told me it wasn't that. She said talking with me was like talking to her girlfriends - she didn't have to explain because I thought the same way.

I don't know about that but I do know that John and I think very differently. He can't multitask, I can. Ask him how his day was and he will tell what he did. I will tell you how I feel. I remember anniversaries and birthdays etc. He doesn't. I cry at sad films, he doesn't and thinks I am soft. 'it's only a film'. He often doesn't know which dog is which and that was worse when I kept lots of cats. I'd ask him to bring Doris to me and he would say ' which one is that?', yet he lived with them. We only had 4-6 cats and they all lived indoors. Plus the things my female friends say about their male partners makes me fairly certain that the only gay thing about John is me. He even watches sport on tv!!! Ick!

Oh and I also have lesbian friends so it isn't just that certain str8 women like gay men. I don't know why my life in this respect is so one sided. It amuses me that most of the time, other men, str8 ones, will treat me with the same attitude as they do women or paternalistically. When we have attended dinner parties or other mixed gatherings, John is always 'with the boys' and they automatically leave me with the women.It isn't overt, but it happens every time.

EDIT: it is possible I have misunderstood the comment left to this post, but I did not mean to imply at all that the bad behaviour of the woman in the pool or the others was anti gay bigotry. No, it was just bad behaviour. I don't wear a big sign saying 'gay'!
And in the pool I am almost naked and submerged with goggles on so even less likely to
stand out as gay. Unless you know something I don't......
EDIT 2: oh dear. I forgot my on line friend Steve and I know Fred reads here too. I am so sorry for my clumsiness and crap memory here.


LizzieK8 said...

My BFF is a gay man and it is, among other reasons, because I don't have to worry about sexual stuff and yet can get my dose of male energy.

As a general rule, excluding the Christian Right, most women I know like gay men, so I'm really surprised at the behavior of the women you talk about.

Maybe the "whole world" is polarizing about gay rights/marriage so in principle they have to show their beliefs in public?

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the slow creeping rot that is infecting society as a whole... Personally I put it all down to the banning of the cane and the slipper in schools. People just don't seem to have manners anymore.

I try every morning on the way to school to let people out in our crawl along the road. Afterall I'm not going to get there significantly faster if I don't, but many others will if I let someone who is holding up ttraffic on the other side of the road turn.

Yet still I get beeped at for letting folks out, worse still I get ignored by the people I wave out, they take the space but don't take the time to wave or say thank you.

It's not just women it's all types.

Next time you see that women in the pool, I'd say take a leak as she passes and hope she gets a mouthful, unfortunately then you'd all suffer.. but still you can think it.

Anonymous said...

You should see the rude soccer moms driving their SUVs around here! We also have the same shoppers in our stores, without an apology for hogging the aisles with their carts.

WereGrouch said...

This is a very interesting post. I'm a woman, but I don't like women. They don't like me. I get "sniffly" at the sad/romantic/happy parts of books and movies, I can multitask, but I never remember important dates. At social gatherings, I hang out with the guys because I never feel comfortable around the women. It isn't a gay or straight deal, I'm married to my sports-loving, wonderfully clueless husband who always reminds me of the important dates. It isn't a gender thing. I think it's just what "flavor" is dominant in a person's being- maleness or femaleness. Some of us are like vanilla ice cream with a drizzle of chocolate- mostly one "-ness" with a hint of the other. Some are all one flavor. Some are quite the neopolitan.
Now I'm going to go eat a bowl of ice cream.

Yarnhog said...

"the only gay thing about John is me"--LOL!

My husband (who is straight, of course), has only female friends and is far more of a chick than I am. Who knows why? We just laugh about it. In fact, it is a point of family lore that my first thought on meeting him was, "Why is this gay man hitting on me?"

I have a gay brother, a straight brother, a lesbian sister, and a straight sister. None of them are "typical", and I adore them all.

Katt said...

Unfortunately, there seems to be a trend that, to me, appears to go as follows: "I am independent. I don't *need* a man. I am a big girl now. Therefore, I can be, should be, will be as rude as possible to any man to whom I am not instantly attracted in a sexual manner. Oh, yeah, and this goes for other women, as well. And it goes double for anyone who appears to be disabled in any manner."

Does this apply to everyone? Nope. But it seems to apply to far to many people, both male and female (just change the gender in the comments).

As far as the 'banning of the cane and the slipper in schools'? Um ... good call. Neither has any place in a place of learning, or in the hands of people who too often abuse their authority. Most of them do not .... but the gods help anyone who is not a member of my family and lays a hand on a child from my family.

Claudia said...

I have no clue. All I know is that I don't like a lot of people because most of the people I've come to know recently are just rude and cruel. I love children because, for the most part, they are innocent and open to learning kindness. I love animals except when people teach them to be nasty.

I'm not crazy about labels. I don't honestly know if I know any gay people or not right now. All I do know is that is someone is pleasant and kind, I will gravitate toward them. I don't care of they are male or female.

Same way with people online. If they seem genuine, that's cool with me. Otherwise I'm fine alone.

Have a great day. :)

marilyn said...

"Like attracts like" I believe.
There are some people that I love dearly; some that I can stand being with for a little while; and some that I can't stand. Some in each category are gay; some are straight.
My partner and my true friends are not all like me.
We are all though mostly kind, generous, tolerant, open-minded and honest...oh yes, and polite!
I honestly believe that we are part of a "soul group", but that's another story.
Dear Colin, I bless the day that we met, you are a continual source of joy in my life xx
P.s. to Noonie...if you had been physically abused as a child you may not be so enthusiastic about slippers and the cane. Positive reinforcement works so much better-and it's legal.

Celticspirit said...

Hey Knitman,
I came to your blog through Indigo's blog and I'm very much enjoying all the knitting stuff. I love knitting and lots of other types of crafty things. I'll surely be back often to see what's new.

Teresa C said...

Regarding the music you listen too, I am female, and I have very few females that I can stand to listen to, even fewer that I will buy.
Have you heard Hayley Westenra? Very pure soprano, lovely to listen too.

As for male artists, I really enjoy Josh Groban, Michael Buble, Harry Connick, Jr, Garth Brooks, and the Ten Tenors, and have all of their albums.

I have only just found out that John Barrowman sings. Quite a nice voice too, if a bit one dimensional.

I would be interested in learning who you do listen to.