Friday, October 30, 2009


I find the information I have for the use of my painkillers confusing and it worries me that I may not be using them correctly.

I have had an abscess at the root of my spine, have done my knee in, and had food poisoning. All of these were extremely painful. I am not in that sort of pain 24/7. Not at all. It is much more of a nagging pain which gradually increases in intensity and is all over my body, especially my joints, and especially hands, feet and hips. My muscles feel as though I have been lifting weights 24/7. Meaning the soreness one gets after weight training when oen is not used to it. Just sitting down and driving causes pain and sleeping does too, often enough to wake me as turning over isn't at all easy and it hurts. Sometimes the pain in my hips is enough to prevent me getting comfortable.I am also almost always tired, or rather fatigued.

Last night, I went to bed, and lay there reading and soon the pain I was in impinged on my reading and I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't even hold my book without it being uncomfortable. I lay there and tried to decide whether to take the drugs or not. As I lay there thinking about it, the discomfort in every joint, hard to describe but something like moving without being oiled, became louder. I got up and took the paracetamol and tramadol and gradually could feel it dialling down the pain. I was asleep before I was aware of the pain stopping altogether.

It rarely does so I doubt it did. The morphine is meant for breakthrough pain. Now that is really not easy at all. I am not supposed to take it on top of the Tramadol according to the Dr but not according to the Chemist. However, I do not know if I need to take it until I have taken the other two drugs and they have not worked! I only take 5mg or 10mg.

The last dog show I was at, at about 3pm, my friend pointed out that I looked awful and she suggested I sat down. I did and then became aware of being in considerable pain. I then realised it had been 10 hours since I last took drugs. I took them I have asked John what he thinks and he thinks that if I have pain all over my body and am uncomfortable then it is severe pain and I need to medicate. To me severe pain is like when I broke my ankle and arm.(John and friends say I am 'grey' when it is clear to them I need to take the drugs.)

As I type this, my hands hurt, my hips and my legs. I took the paracetamol and half the tramadol 2.5 hrs ago. It isn't severe hurting but it is enough for me to be conscious of it. So does mean I ought to have taken the full dose?The only time I am comfortable is when I have taken all three drugs together but I reserve that for when I really have to.

Usually writing like this I get to my own answer but I am still confused. Oh, I might add that I can take my drugs 4 times a day, 8 of each.(not the morphine.) I have never done that. The most I have taken is 6 of each. 3 times a day. I do have a hang up about drugs and taking them. Addiction is one reason. The other is taking them for the sake of it and not for need and it this latter that really confuses me. Most of the time do not know if I have a legitimate reason to be taking them.
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