Up North

Today I am going to drive 200 miles to my friend Linda. I have pick of the bitches in her Lhasa Apso litter. 4 girls. I think I know which one I shall take as I 'saw' it already whilst I was meditating. I also 'saw' the boy she is keeping and described him correctly for colour.

On Thursday I was prescribed a new drug, an anti spasmodic for my gut. I took it Thursday evening and Friday morning. By Friday evening I was feeling worse and especially last last night. I am not sure this drug agrees with me. It has peppermint oil in it. I am not going to take it today and I will see what happens.

My gut has gradually got better. Much less pain and discomfort and bloating. I am more or less left with the bloating/aerated feeling more than anything. Strangely, I have not experienced any trouble with my bathroom habits which have remained perfectly normal apart from missing a day or two.

My mother died as a result of IBS. She had become constipated and her bowel ruptured and she died of septicaemia.

I was anorexic in my teens until my early 20's. I took many laxatives daily, sometimes as many as 30, plus vomiting. I guess I am not surprised I have problems now.
I also grew another inch and half once I started to eat properly again.

I think the reason I take my present health problems so well is that I feel very lucky I am not much worse and that I survived in the first place.

The only part of my condition I get resentful about is the food issues. I can get quite p'd off at not being able to eat like others, which is silly because, again, others have far worse problems-like peanut allergy or diabetes or such things. Me? I just can't eat grain with out having problems and I can't eat sugar/starch without also having problems. The grain stuff will cause me gut problems and sugar/starch will cause me to have blood sugar level spikes and lows which will cause me great hunger, weight gain, depression and volatile moods swings.

Fortunately for me, I love food so I do eat a good and varied diet. I live off about 1 kg(2.2lbs) of veggies a day, mainly green plus fish, chicken or pork. Occasionally lamb or beef.Mostly fish. Not bad for someone who was a veggy for years! Which is one reason I was so fat and ill all the time-I was allergic to most of what I was eating and didn't know it.

Yet when we travel or visit, this is when the difficulties arise. Finding the right food for me or having to tell hosts I can only eat flesh and veggies. No bread, no cake, no biscuits, no fun stuff!

One thing I do eat is 70% to 85% dark chocolate. REAL chocolate. Made on mainland Europe not the crap that passes for chocolate here in UK which is full of vegetable fat, usually hydrogenated. It annoys they are allowed to call it chocolate when it isn't.(Same with Ice Cream-which often is anything but ....) Anyway, I eat it occasionally and a square or two is very satisfying. My friend in Denmark, Karen, says it is a necessary food group! I have never felt the urge to eat the whole bar or box.

I am keeping up with my swimming and have now lost 36 lbs (16kg) since August. This is is a total so far of 120lbs (55kgs). And I am not dieting! I eat 3 meals a day and they are not tiny. I am not hungry and if I feel hungry, I eat.

However, as good as all this is, I still resent not being able to eat junk!

(Oh and the only fruit I can tolerate, in small doses, are strawberries, raspberries, blackberries - they don't cause a blood sugar spike and they don't cause me acid or gut problems)

I had to buy a new pair of swimming togs yesterday. It dawned on me that the pair I was wearing all this time were just too big now hence the having to keep pulling them up to free my legs. The new pair are clingy, like Superman's(!!!!) and my legs are free to move properly in the water. (You might be surprised to see how many people swim and do not use their legs-their legs just dangle...weird)