Monday, January 28, 2008

I'm Done

I was so flabbergasted at what happened at the pool this morning I ended up crying in rage and shame.

That is it. I am done. I will not say another word about this. They've won. They are not going to do their job and they will continue to disrespect the people who employ them-the public and will continue to give the finger to the disabled users. I will keep quiet and do my swim. I NEED to do my swim. I do not need the stress.

I have found several things to be absolute bollocks:

You get back what you give out

Treat others with respect and they will do likewise. double bollocks.

It is best to confront those who offend you, quietly, without accusation, and with respect and dignity. They will respond like wise. TRIPLE BOLLOCKS!!! It is precisely why I did not and have not ever said anything to the person who treated me such disdain when we went away(I feel I need to say here that I am not alone in thinking this about my treatment then) I KNOW there is no point at all to that. The response will be denial and more of same. Just like at the pool. Denial denial and more denial. I still can't believe what happened there this morning and worse how I ended up crying in rage and shame.


Back to the pool and other disability issues: I have to just accept the fact that I will continue to be abused, that people will continue to park in our spaces, that they will continue to not see me, push past me, get in front of me, ignore me, speak to me as if I am stupid, continually apologise for no reason, look embarrassed, disgusted and afraid. There is nothing I can do about any of this.

What I can do and must do, is find a way to ignore it all. I cannot deal with this anger about it. Being polite, being friendly, smiling, funny, the clown, none of it works. I can't change who I am and be like them. But I don't have to be be like a f**king puppy dog either wagging my tail at any arsehole. That is it. I will not say another word to them for any reason. I need peace and the only way I am going to get a stress free swim is to ignore them totally.

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