Monday, January 28, 2008

I'm Done

I was so flabbergasted at what happened at the pool this morning I ended up crying in rage and shame.

That is it. I am done. I will not say another word about this. They've won. They are not going to do their job and they will continue to disrespect the people who employ them-the public and will continue to give the finger to the disabled users. I will keep quiet and do my swim. I NEED to do my swim. I do not need the stress.

I have found several things to be absolute bollocks:

You get back what you give out

Treat others with respect and they will do likewise. double bollocks.

It is best to confront those who offend you, quietly, without accusation, and with respect and dignity. They will respond like wise. TRIPLE BOLLOCKS!!! It is precisely why I did not and have not ever said anything to the person who treated me such disdain when we went away(I feel I need to say here that I am not alone in thinking this about my treatment then) I KNOW there is no point at all to that. The response will be denial and more of same. Just like at the pool. Denial denial and more denial. I still can't believe what happened there this morning and worse how I ended up crying in rage and shame.

I WILL NEVER ALLOW THEM TO DO THAT TO ME AGAIN. NEVER.

Back to the pool and other disability issues: I have to just accept the fact that I will continue to be abused, that people will continue to park in our spaces, that they will continue to not see me, push past me, get in front of me, ignore me, speak to me as if I am stupid, continually apologise for no reason, look embarrassed, disgusted and afraid. There is nothing I can do about any of this.

What I can do and must do, is find a way to ignore it all. I cannot deal with this anger about it. Being polite, being friendly, smiling, funny, the clown, none of it works. I can't change who I am and be like them. But I don't have to be be like a f**king puppy dog either wagging my tail at any arsehole. That is it. I will not say another word to them for any reason. I need peace and the only way I am going to get a stress free swim is to ignore them totally.

7 comments:

krisleon said...

Its not fair is it,my dad was disabled in a wheelchair from a car crash which left him paralysed from the waist down,people used to laugh and get in his way,as my mom said there turn will come.Try and enjoy your swim Colin and hold your head high like my dad used to.They should all be ashamed of themselves.

Anonymous said...

Colin, what they are doing is illegal and they should be reported for it. Even if it doesnt help you and your situation, it would stop them being like it to anyone else. There are laws for reasons and its at times like this that it is good they exist. Report them, what they are doing is so wrong on so many levels.

I know when I come across anyone who is disabled I know I sometimes don't quite know what to do. The kind person in me wants to help if I see someone struggling, but the other part of me that recognises that that person might want to be independent and not need my help. Its that balance between seeing someone struggling and offering to help or just walking away. Now I just ask if they would like some help, if they say no then thats fine. However I wonder how many people with disabilities say yes they would like help (when they don't really) because they don't want to appear rude!

Lia Nord said...

They haven't won if you don't let them--and it sounds like, from your last comment, that you're not going to let them. Just ignore them (sounds easier than it is, I know) and go on with your routine. It's what I'm so terrible at, but it's what one has to do sometimes. I'm so sorry that it's such a bitch.

Your Kaffetier socks are beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Believe me, I fully understand. I just got lambasted by a friend of my grand niece's for not agreeing to go to a party they decided I needed to go to because "it hurt my niece's feelings." For heaven's sake, my whole life is changing and they were upset because I couldn't deal with meeting 40+ new people in a night.

There are lots of "handicaps." There the REAL physical ones and the REAL mental ones. I'm luckier than you in that I don't have any REAL physical handicaps, as you do. I do, have a REAL psychological one, right now.

As you say, bollocks or bullocks!

I love you, Colin, in m crazy, mixed-up 61 year old female way.

Hoc Age said...

Colin, their behavior speaks of who they are not of who you are. Nobody should be treated this way and because you wouldn't think of doing anything like this it is very hard for you to fathom why they do.
Basic manners, concern and empathy are foreign concepts to them. They are too busy contemplating their own navel.
Please take some peace in knowing you are a decent guy and possess a dignity they may never understand.
Are there any handicap organizations that could help you with the basic complaints of the pool? It helps not to do these things alone.

Anonymous said...

Mean people are better left to themselves.

That means, however, that you need to find another place to go if you are surrounded by them. Surrond yourself with good people.

It's not an easy task.

Anonymous said...

Bullies usually are very insignificant insects that feed on upsetting others, because they ignorantly think it makes them look good to speak out in this derogatory way, when infact they are nothing, with no real friends, those that are with them as children soon outgrow them, and the few that are left throw out accusations and blurb that a child of three could rise above. You are way, way above them and this level of intelligence Colin. In some ways I feel a little sorry for them, as they strive throughout life to be noticed as someone of some standing, when infact they are noticed alright, but as total idiots. The cowards of society, for alone face to face with you, they wouldn't say a darn thing....cos they haven't got the guts, let alone an ounce of truth in them.. You can't help them, they are doomed in this world to remain the lowest of the low I'm afraid..and YOU? well you are far too intelligent to worry about them aren't you? Wish I lived nearer to you, I'd love to come and face them, see how many of them wanna take me on...they wanna play their stupid games.....well bring it on, I'm waiting!

higz...Cher