Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Good Morning

I was speaking with my Dr on the phone last night. We talked about a few things, including the pool. When I told her what was happening, she named the person who I was having the most problem with-the bully. I didn't have to mention her at all. That made me feel much better and less crazy.

I also spoke with a Disability Rights place and they are going to deal with this in a public forum. I am not the only one having or has had problems. They understand completely the covert nature of the bullying and the conspiracy. Again, I felt less crazy.

I decided last night I would not swim to day as I was so tired. However, I awoke at 5am anyway so........off I went to the other pool.

'Good morning. How are you?' from a smiling genuine face.

I was escorted to the pool, my stick was taken and I got in. I was told to let them know when I was done and they would put in the different steps. they did so and stood waiting with my stick until I negotiated my way out. It takes a while because by the time I have swum my mile I am done in and can't move well out of the water.

All this done with courtesy, a genuine smile, and chattiness. I do not have to ask for anything. Even on my way out, as I went to get a drink from the machine, a staff member immediately came over and put my money in the machine and retrieved my drink, to save me having to bend.

Of course the fact that these are fit young men does not add anything to the experience.

Yes, the disabled room is too far from the poolside, it is cold and very basic with a dribbly shower.

Oh but the difference is just amazing. Stress free. Respect. I can be cold for a few minutes. The drive is 18 minutes. It will add about 150 miles to my car each week and about £15($30) to my fuel bill. But it will save me a lot of stress.

I also realise that I have not capitulated, not given in to the bullies. I am taking care of me and they will be taken care by other means.

I find it impossible to understand people like those staff. What mus their insides be like? I know damn well that reducing me to tears will have produced a sense of triumph in them, not shame.
What appalling people.

One thing that is making life a little more difficult right now is that whilst I am more mobile in the lower half, I am in more pain, especially in the top half of me. Whereas swimming made me feel not disabled, now every stroke is painful to varying degrees. My thoracic region hurts most of the time and I cannot sleep for more than a couple of hours without my ribs going into spasm and I have to get up and sit a while before I can sleep again.Interrupted sleep doesn't help me stay positive. Hopefully, this will pass away again like this condition usually does. It quiets down or decides to attack a different part of me. For some reason, along with my upper back and ribs, my finger knuckles are painful. Normally, the pain is mostly lower back and hips and knees and feet and legs. Perhaps it got bored and want a change of address.

I will not stop swimming though as the mental benefits are enormous. It also benefits my heart and of course my weight.
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