Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Guantanamo Bay

After yesterday's shorter swim(64 laps), I did little else. I took the puppies to be microchipped. The man who does it is so good at it. The pups didn't complain at all. Never do with him doing it. And it is not a thin needle that goes in. More like a canula. I had my 2 hr nap before I went.

I did little else for the rest of the day. Some sock knitting, almost finished sewing up the sweater. I watched Jodie Foster in The Brave One along with Terrence Howard who is an excellent actor. Very expressive face. Looks like a man who really feels. I actually watched this film without doing anything else. About half way thru I took pain meds. When it was done I watched Rendition with Meryl Streep and Jake Gyllnhaal.

I found both films to be disturbing and both brought up conflicting emotions. Horror at torture and revenge and also an element of satisfaction at the baddies getting done. Disturbing.

Rendition is the most disturbing really because it shows how we in the West have lost our credibility as democracies who champion freedom. Guantanamo Bay and the practice of rendition are both appalling and to me show that the terrorists already won. or that we were never what we were told USA can justify it is beyond me. How the UK and the rest can sanction it is also beyond me. Such hypocrisy. Such evil. Oh, but anything to stop the Muslims right? Forget democracy, freedom, integrity, morality, right? We have a war to win. Trouble is it isn't so easy to see who the good guys are any more. The whole lot make me sick. Oh and it will get worse, much worse. Oil is running low. Watch out, we will soon see just how democratic and free we are. (And thankfully I do not suffer from Patriotism so I can say what I think and not have it used to silence me.)

Okay so I did not set the alarm for 5.30am this morning. I woke up at 5.30 am anyway. I then dosed till 6.45am. It was hard to not get up to go swim. I have a busy day. Bathing dogs and taking the pups to show the stud owner. I think that will just about wipe me out for another day.

I am sure I have said before, it isn't pain that bothers me so much as not being able to do all I want to do and getting tired so easily. It really p's me off. It is so frustrating. Fortunately those closest to me understand my limitations and I don't bother with the rest. Explanation is a waste of time and I don't see I need to anyway. I am aware to look at me doesn't tell you anything. I am so good at disassociating I can be in quite severe pain and you wouldn't know. because it wouldn't show. However, if I was fatigued then you would know! I tend to pale and become very vague and my speech turns to mush.

Another bright and sunny day and like yesterday, not so hot and humid.

2 comments:

patsijean said...

Colin,
Do believe this; a good many of us here in the USA are just as appalled at the way FEAR has been slowly turning us into that which we fear. This is not the America I grew up to love. There are times I want to sit down and cry. I have hopes that Obama will win the next election, as I see more of the same, or worse, if things go the other way.

Anonymous said...

Colin: you are beginning to sound like I felt on chemo. It's enough to do just a few things a day. No one is expecting more production out of you.

OK, I'm wrong, the dogs do.