Monday, July 14, 2008

Weary

I have done nothing all day. Oh, apart from pick up dog do and little sock knitting. I was right yesterday to decide that today was rest day. I went back to bed at 11am at got up at 1pm. If it were not for the dogs, I'd be back in bed again now. I feel so weary. I HATE days like today. I tell you fatigue is far worse than pain to deal with. I have little pain today. But with pain I can minimise it with drugs and putting my mind to something else. Like I have said, I am good at disassociating. Fatigue cannot be dealt with. At least I don;t know how to. I know it will go on its own. When it decides to. It really does not seem related to anything I do. I can be very active for days at a time, in pain, and I get tired. This is not tired. this is fatigue. There is a difference though I can't really explain it. Sleep doesn't alleviate it. It feels as if one is moving through thick air all the time, like someone added weights to my arms and legs. Even knitting has been an effort and I have put it down to just watch tv. Highly unusual for me. Even the small movements required to knit are too much effort and typing this , my hands feel heavy. Weird.

Five weeks from today, John and I will arrive at out friends' home, Lia and Lui, in Sandhausen (near Mannheim) Germany. I am really looking forward to that. We leave here on the 17th, staying in Dinant, in the Ardenne region of Belgium on that night and driving the rest of the way the following day.
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