You may recall me writing about a couple I met and whose company I enjoyed when they visited here from Texas (I think that is the state.). I ignored their homophobia as i understood they were good people and this was only a visit so I let it go.
I then got an email from her complaining about my writing that i would not feel safe in Southern USA. So I wrote about odd it was that here she was telling not to class all southerners as the same (I don't) yet she herself was a bigot! I chose not to respond to her email s I didn't wish any unpleasantness and she clearly didn't understand.
I wasted my generosity really. She read my blog about their visit, even though I gave no indication as to I was talking about, was not at all rude or unpleasant about her and her husband, just pointing out they were bigots and didn't see it. Well, I got a an unpleasant email in response to that. the bigotry in it was glaring, the venom ill hidden. Of course she wrote all hurt and aggrieved as if she were the injured party and wasn't I dreadful for being so mean!
I started a reply which was still placatory and then I realised 'hey, what are you doing? Trying to appease a bigot? To hell with her' and so I wrote what I felt.
People such as these, who think they are not bigots, do not realise that it is their attitudes that allow incidents like the vile Matthew Shepherd case to happen. That allowed the Holocaust to happen. Why? Because no matter which way you cut it, it boils down to them not viewing us as their equal, but defective in some why. They do not get it, are either too thick or don't want to. Like these patronizing gits who say I love you but I wish you were not....they don't love at alll!!! They see us as less than and that is not love and it is is bigotry.
It really is time people stopped making excuses. They must think I and my fellow gay people are stupid. Like these morons who say 'I have nothing against foreigners but I don't' like all these immigrants here' , as if that makes it clear they are not bigots. It makes it very clear they ARE!!! (We have a lot of East Europeans here now. Now people moan more about them than they do people of colour!)
I will believe we might be getting somewhere that day it is considered as terrible to say someone is Q***R as it is to use the N Word. Both these words are highly offensive. The fact that some gay people(who interestingly do not use faggot, shirtlifter, pansy, nancy, poofter etc to describe themselves. wonder why?)and some black people have chosen to use these words to describe themselves does not make it less offensive. (Read Bill Cosby and his view on the use of the N word or listen here)
EDIT: I am fully aware that not all Southern States people are backward, inbred or bigots! Same as not all we Brits are posh!
Another long stretch, but hoping to be more regular
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6 comments:
I had an enormous argument with my parents about this issue. They (who have two gay children) are opposed to gay marriage--not to allowing it, but only to calling it "marriage." That, they say, is only between a man and a woman. They refuse to believe that this is bigotry--that the only reason for drawing a distinction between what you call the relationships is a desire to diminish one with respect to the other. It was one of the most frustrating, exasperating arguments I have ever had, and considering my parents, that's saying quite a lot.
As someone from the Deep South USA (I live in Mississippi), those kind of people really embarrass me. Really, I promise, we aren't all like that. And there are just as many evil bigots in North USA, even California where they are now fighting about the legality of gay marriage. I find it just appalling that anyone would be denied the legal protection of joining in a marriage. I find it appalling that anyone would be denied their basic human rights on any basis.
I am sorry you wasted your generous nature on that person. And good for you for writing what you really thought. She really isn't worth your time, effort, or attention.
what is the 'N' word? I probably know what it is but I can't recall right now...I have a sister that writes me evil emails and letters from time to time, they do get me confused! Why do people have to justify their thoughts by attack? If you've been through this peculiar scenario you learn to realise that they are the ones with the problems and they want to transpose their problem onto others, however, the silly angry twits don't realise they have a problem! Live and let live, why don't they want people to be happy?
Right on! I wondered why you were so nice to begin with. I suspect people who are nice to you, knowing you are HS, but are bigoted to and about other gay people, are doing so for their own gain.
I wish we could put marriage back where it belongs: as a contract between two people and the GOVERNMENT (not the church). The church can bestow its blessings on anyone it chooses, but the legal contract should be available to any two people who love each other and are committed.
This reminds me of a "good" Christian woman I once was acquainted with that never understood how superior her bumper sticker, "Christians aren't better, they are just saved" made her sound.
You know, even as a little kid, when I was trained to think that same gender relationships were "silly," prejudice, bigotry, racism and this need for one-upmanship never made sense to me. It still doesn't - although I hope in many ways I'm still a little kid, LOL!
Joan
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