GOING SWIMMINGLY

I went swimming this morning. It was luverly! It hurt a lot but being in water is just so good for me. I enjoy it very much. It only hurt because I haven’t done for a week and I have been stressed and active this week. It still feels so much better than being on land.

The four puppies and Shameless are doing really well now. The puppies have gained weight and Shameless is settled and happy now.

To answer Yarnhog: no it isn’t a regular occurrence to lose puppies. Most litters are without incident. At least for me.

I still have many photographs of Edinburgh to post.

My yarn dyeing has really been quite successful. I am happy about that as I really enjoy doing it.

I have a good break from the shows now until Bank Holiday Monday (May 31st).

WTF? Teresa May has been appointed Equality Minister. She who voted against the repeal of Section 28, the equalising of the age of consent, against gays adopting, against lesbians having fertility treatment, against transgendered people having their official sex changed. Isn’t this a bit like having Nick Griffin in charge of Race Relations?(Nick Griffin is head of the British National Party-they have views one could say were Nazi.)

Oh and David Cameron’s voting record is very similar. I do not trust Tories. Their ‘standing for equality’ isn’t really believed, they just know the electorate will no longer stand for such crap.

 

HAVING A DUMP

This house is full of stuff. The flat is full of stuff. Too much stuff. We need to get rid of stuff. So today that is what we are going to do, sort out stuff and dump stuff. Some stuff will be sent to the charity shops (like manual wheelchair, books and other stuff. Any usual stuff.) Other stuff will go to the tip.

This ought to leave us more room for stuff.

I detest the blister packs my drugs come in. So f*cking difficult to get that damn pill out without breaking it or dropping it. Look at the size of the blister compared to the pill! This is just on of the 22 pills a day I take. I did ask that I have them in bottles but no, that seems to be against some rule or other but I could have them in a little tray marked off for each day of the week. Not only would I have to get a weekly refill but they couldn’t get all my drugs in it anyway! F*cking bureaucrats! I don’t have children so it is perfectly safe to give the drugs in bottles. One of my drugs comes in a bottle anyway as I only get 10 at a time of them.

I came up with my own solution. I realised that the plastic waterproof tubs I use for my dyes would be perfect for keeping my drugs in. So last night, having taken enough to enable my hands to do it, I proceeded to get hundreds of the things out of those blister packs and into these tubs. It has freed up an awful lot of space (for more stuff) in my drug drawer. I no longer have to hunt through the packs for the one I want. You see, I would tip all the blister packs out of their boxes and into the drawer because it was the only I could get them all to fit. When I pick up my drugs, I am given two carrier bags full so you get the idea. Anyway, though it left my hands bloody sore, I have at least found a good solution that the bureaucrats can go ‘expletive’ themselves.

Which brings me neatly to my next dose of rambling.

Until recently, I was unaware that one of the main tenants of conservative politics was small government. I am all for less government interference in our lives. The govt since ‘97 has brought in more and more control laws. They are now even going to legislate to make it difficult for me to follow my dog showing/breeding hobby. They interfere far far too much.

So anyway, you’d think that would mean I will go and vote Conservative? Well no because despite that basic tenant, I believe they are lying about it. What they really mean is THEY do not want to have Government interfere with them (the rich) but they will interfere with the rest of us. The last lot DID interfere. Section 28 for instance. The Cons would never have brought in same sex marriage. Despite what they are saying now, I don’t believe they have changed. I have yet to meet a conservative who is truly for equal rights for all. I have yet to meet one who is aware that meritocracy doesn’t work for all sorts of reasons but mainly because we are not all equal in ability and brain power and physical health.

Put simply I really do believe in small government but I don’t believe in the Cons (Republicans). Yet I am completely turned off Labour(democrats) because they INTERFERE too much. We have the Lib Dems here and well I think they are off their rockers. Mr Cable thinks a tax ought to be brought upon those whose homes are worth more than a million. This tax would be something like £25,000 a year. Grossly unfair! Many of these homes are owned by people of low means and the only reason their house is worth that much is because during the 30 or so years they have lived in it, it has appreciated. Now where will these people find £25,000 a year to pay in tax? Pull the other one.

I don’t trust them I certainly don’t trust Cameron. I did do. i thought that having a disabled child, who died, had made him aware of ordinary people’s needs. I was stupid to think that. I have since found out that this man voted against the equalising of the age of consent for str8’s and gays and supported section 28. Now we are expected to think he is our friend. Plus, maybe his fiddling of expenses was only small but he still did along with most of the rest of the MP’s but we are now overlooking this.

I might have had a really good day on Thursday but was back to normal on Friday. It would seem I really can’t do more than 3 times week swimming now.

Friday was weird. I had to use my stick indoors mainly because my balance was really off. My hands refused to work properly and I cut myself deeply and then scalded myself. (Today the scald is a livid pink so I guess it was almost bad.) I also felt wounded all day. Quiet and still inside but wounded. I think this is just another version of flashbacks. I didn’t experience any of the waking nightmare stuff. No sudden memories surfaced. Yet I felt the aftermath. I can’t really explain it any better than to say it feels like I am wounded and all I want to do is go to bed and curl into a ball and sleep.

We will go to Pannini’s shortly for brunch. I always enjoy that. The it will be back home for stuff dumping.

THOUGHT BEFORE BEDTIME

1. Meritocracies are deeply flawed and do not work. They do allow the haves to feel better as they step over the have nots.

2. If one is going to leave comments have the courage to leave your name. I have left the option for anonymous comments but rather hoped all commentators would have the integrity to not comment anonymously.

LEFT OR RIGHT?

I am confused.

I think the least Government control over our lives the better. That should make me a Tory or Republican.

That is what they say they believe.

I don't think it is true.

I think what they mean is that they don't anyone interfering with THEM but they want to control the rest of us.

Why would I think this? Well, it's the Tories/Republicans that are most vociferous about controlling thru law people's private behaviour. Prop 8 for example. It is the Right that wants to limit people's freedom. It is the Right that bangs on abotu morals and God. It is the Right who think they know how we all ought to be. It is the Religious Right who want our freedom removed.

So I do not ally myself with Right.

Then we have the Left. On the surface, it seems they want freedom for all. They will protect my rights, indeed here, they have given me , finally, equal rights with other human beings. Yet they are far too controlling. Day by day we are loosing more and more freedoms. Every area of our life is controlled by Government and it is growing daily.

So I am not of the Left.

It seems no matter which I turn, I'm buggered.

I will say that our think our set up is flawed in the first place. We all live in so called Meritocracies. On the surface this sounds good. On the surface. The trouble is we are not born equal, no matter what we say. And life happens to us in different ways. Meaning, some of us are born handicapped, others become handicapped. Meritocracies only work for those born well and intellectually bright. We can kid ourselves, like the Government here does, that we can all go to University and they are proud that they are providing that opportunity. Yet they do not consider that not all of us have the wherewithal to do that. If we did, who exactly would do the simple jobs like the Dustmen, Road Sweepers, assembly line work etc? Ppeople with degrees? You are kidding right?

And we all know what happens to those who cannot work because of bad health, either from birth or acquired. We get little and are sidelined.

We fool ourselves into believing we are honourable, good, kind people who take care of our fellows. We are proud to say we live freely in countries that allow the freedom to succeed. True. But only if you fit in the box. If not, f*ck you!

Since I am on a roll here, why is it that the most important jobs are the most lowly paid? The previously mentioned road sweepers and dustmen. Nurses. Teachers. Sewer workers. The people who keep society going are those that are looked down upon and paid the least.

Next to parenthood, teaching is the most important profession there is. Yet teachers are derided, paid no where near enough, and are then blamed for the way children turn out! parents, of course, are not to blame at all. The fault always lies elsewhere, never with them. Thanks to that little commandment ' Honour they Father and Thy Mother.' It matters not if they deserve it, you are a sinful brat if you don't. Hence we have the society we deserve.

Integrity?

I am very annoyed and confused at all those people who are pissed off that Hilary Clinton did not get the democrat nomination and as a result will not vote for Obama but will vote Republican.

Have these people no integrity? Certainly they can't be democrats. It seems they were only voting for the one person, not their politics and beliefs.

Surely, you vote for the party that most represents your own views? One doesn't vote fpor the person!

If a gay man was nominated as the Republican candidate or as leader of the Conservatives(here in UK), I would still not vote for him!

Are these people morons? Are they really so dim and fickle?

God help us if because of these nincompoops we get more the same dangerous crap.

And, yes, I am in the UK and British but the President of the United States of America is a very serious issue for the whole world. Our world's survival depends upon who you elect. (It just occurred to me that maybe we should get to decide and get a vote!)

Guantanamo Bay

After yesterday's shorter swim(64 laps), I did little else. I took the puppies to be microchipped. The man who does it is so good at it. The pups didn't complain at all. Never do with him doing it. And it is not a thin needle that goes in. More like a canula. I had my 2 hr nap before I went.

I did little else for the rest of the day. Some sock knitting, almost finished sewing up the sweater. I watched Jodie Foster in The Brave One along with Terrence Howard who is an excellent actor. Very expressive face. Looks like a man who really feels. I actually watched this film without doing anything else. About half way thru I took pain meds. When it was done I watched Rendition with Meryl Streep and Jake Gyllnhaal.

I found both films to be disturbing and both brought up conflicting emotions. Horror at torture and revenge and also an element of satisfaction at the baddies getting done. Disturbing.

Rendition is the most disturbing really because it shows how we in the West have lost our credibility as democracies who champion freedom. Guantanamo Bay and the practice of rendition are both appalling and to me show that the terrorists already won. or that we were never what we were told USA can justify it is beyond me. How the UK and the rest can sanction it is also beyond me. Such hypocrisy. Such evil. Oh, but anything to stop the Muslims right? Forget democracy, freedom, integrity, morality, right? We have a war to win. Trouble is it isn't so easy to see who the good guys are any more. The whole lot make me sick. Oh and it will get worse, much worse. Oil is running low. Watch out, we will soon see just how democratic and free we are. (And thankfully I do not suffer from Patriotism so I can say what I think and not have it used to silence me.)

Okay so I did not set the alarm for 5.30am this morning. I woke up at 5.30 am anyway. I then dosed till 6.45am. It was hard to not get up to go swim. I have a busy day. Bathing dogs and taking the pups to show the stud owner. I think that will just about wipe me out for another day.

I am sure I have said before, it isn't pain that bothers me so much as not being able to do all I want to do and getting tired so easily. It really p's me off. It is so frustrating. Fortunately those closest to me understand my limitations and I don't bother with the rest. Explanation is a waste of time and I don't see I need to anyway. I am aware to look at me doesn't tell you anything. I am so good at disassociating I can be in quite severe pain and you wouldn't know. because it wouldn't show. However, if I was fatigued then you would know! I tend to pale and become very vague and my speech turns to mush.

Another bright and sunny day and like yesterday, not so hot and humid.

Barak Obama

I have never before been taken by a politician. They tend to leave me cold and cynical.

Not this man.

There is something about him that makes me hopeful and excited.