Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I have a dog show on Friday in Blackpool, 210 miles away up in the north west. The weather promises to be about 25c, the high 70's. We'll see. I find that weather men and women lie.

Seventy cones have now left my home and one still cannot see any dent in my stash. I think it will take some time before it shows. I put up 7 lots.
this evening just from what I could see around me in my pc and knitting room. I feel much better about because I changed my thoughts about it and now think about the pleasure this yarn is going to give others. If they are like me, I know they will receive much from this yarn.

I am going to the Doctor tomorrow morning. I need to get my painkillers sorted out. My hands have been painful for days and today i took Ibuprofen 400 with my tramadol and paracetamol and my hands stropped hurting and felt better all over. HOWEVER, I am aware of the dangers of anti-inflammatories with regard to water retention, kidneys, and blood pressure. So I need to go and see about what can be done. I need to do something as the pain in my hands has stopped me knitting and I can't have that.

Strangely, although I did not swim, and have not had much discomfort, I have been barely able to walk most of the day. Getting out of bed this morning took me ages and I wondered if I was going to manage it. I have also threatened to topple over about three times. weird if you ask me even though it is a part of my condition. It still unsettles me to suddenly start to topple over for no apparent reason. Hence the sticks.

Generally speaking I am feeling happy. Not just good, but really happy and content. I am so glad I went thru that awful experience at the end of 07. Since then, i have really become more and more myself and more and more happy. I really did let go of a load then. I have come to realise, that for my anyway, the results are not sudden. I did not dump the grief and then jumped for joy. No it has taken 18 months to get here and I am sure the ramifications are yet to be fully realised.

I have changed the way I dress and wear lots of COLOUR. My mediumship has really improved. My talks have really improved. My knitting has improved. My life has improved.

All because I no longer believe what I used to believe.

It really is that simple.

What we believe makes our life.


FuguesStateKnits said...


Terri said...

Ah, Colin, what a joy it is to know you can at last see it and feel that way!