Friday, June 15, 2007

The Facts About Dripping

Okay, here are the facts about dripping.

Women are always complaining about it.

First off they complain about the seat and lid being left up. Why? Just what is the big deal? Is it more aesthetically pleasing to have the seat and lid down? It is just a loo for god's sake!

Now the dripping. Let me tell you, it may seem a really simple thing but it isn't. It is in fact a very difficult thing to pee with entirely good aim and with no dripping. In fact it is impossible.

First of all, the instrument thru which one pee's is not always str8. Yes you read write. Sometimes it gets scrunched up, or it is leaning to the left or right. Natural one's, those that haven't had the end cruelly and unnecessarily hacked off at some point, can be even more challenging as one has no idea which direction the flow will go until it starts, by which time it is too late...

Then there is the middle of the night pee. It is dark. One is still asleep but one gets up anyway and sleepwalks to the loo. (Now you know why the seat needs to be up -you're expecting too much of a sleeping man.) One pee's and goes back to bed. No, sleepwalking men do not look for any spillage. They don't even notice if the seat is up or down....

Then there is the morning, just awake, pee. You try pointing downwards with an instrument that resolutely points upwards! And no, having just woken up, we do not have time to wipe down the seat or the walls....in fact, if like me, one is very short sighted, one can't even see the drips.

Besides, when one is done, it is time for the hand shake. It really is too much to expect these flying drips to be well aimed. And one doesn't want drips dripping into ones' clothes or down one's leg.

So, ladies, now you know. Please be more compassionate and understanding. You have no excuse now. You have been told. You have had it fully explained.

Peeing is NOT that easy. If you had to shake your fanny whenever you pee'd , I am sure you'd be a tad more understanding. Mind you for all I know, maybe you do shake. Perhaps that is why you spend so long in there and prefer to go in pairs. The second person needed to steady you after the shake?

Edit: as reminded by AJ (see comments section in the post above this one) I always used to keep the loo seat down when I bred Persian cats. Never forgot after having a couple land in it. Wet Persian pussy running around the house is not funny. Oh, okay it is but the clearing up isn't.
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