Tuesday, April 07, 2009

NOT BRILLIANT

I have yet to deal with the holiday photographs. All 360 of them. I have yet to deal with anything much. I left the house for the first time this evening, briefly. Other than that I have only been to the Doctor. I feel unsettled and unsafe and somewhat angry. This place has felt like home and secure. Now it doesn't. It's worse knowing that someone close by screwed us over and is friendly to our face. When I took the pups out earlier, I suspected everyone I saw and did not smile or greet anyone. I now feel I want to move whereas before this we both felt this would be our last home. I have had much more pain today and have had several acid attacks.

I am getting up early and going for my swim tomorrow. And the next day. Probably unable to Friday and Sunday and Monday due to Easter.

7 comments:

Iris said...

What you're feeling is very normal. We went through this and, while the feeling does abate somewhat as time goes on, there's always a little fear. We moved. However, it's probably true that this could happen anywhere. This makes you feel so vulnerable. I imagine this is especially hard for you, after all you've been through in your life. I hope you feel safer soon.

Cathlene said...

As I have read your blog for some time, I feel that I know you. I felt angry that someone would violate your home! Theives are the worst because they take much more than just possessions that can be replaced. I know the feeling will lessen with time, but you shouldn't be left feeling uncomfortable in your own home.

I guess the only thing we can do in the end is to pick up the pieces and do your best to put the whole experience in your past. Take care and know that there are people out here who care about you.

fairy godmother said...

I am sorry you are feeling this way, but it's very understandable. Your personal space has been violated. Do the police have any leads?

Anonymous said...

Colin, I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I have had this happen to me, and it is a terrible thing.

FugueStateKnits said...

So sorry, Colin!
J

Anonymous said...

Dear Colin,
Remember, your neighbor was the one to call the police. people are looking out for you- don't retreat from them. Although you may suspect someone close by, these type of crooks know how to case a house. I was lucky enough to stop a burglary at a neighbors house because I just happened to look out the window at the right time. If I hadn't, they would have come and gone with no one the wiser: they are fast! Maybe they got so little - comparatively- because of a noise from a neighbor. Remember all the good in your neighborhood, and don't let thieves take that away from you, too!
Sabine Watts

joannamauselina said...

Coin, I felt that way too after our house was violated, but eventually the feelings of insecurity and anger eased. I had nightmares about it long after I thought I was over it. But it does all get better. Putting in some new security technology (alarms, better locks) helped. The dogs will help too. Even little ones are great alarm systems.