Saturday, August 22, 2009

OFFICER BULLY

Today's swim did not go well. It was difficult cos it hurt and was tiring but got worse due to a bully.

The adult only lane sessions are for people such as myself who swim laps. Everyone does it and knows the routine. You DO NOT swim either in front or behind another close enough to get kicked or impede them, you swim around them, if the pool is that busy.

Not so for two women who clearly wanted to swim in my lane. I swim right next to the wall. I feel secure there. If I go into spasm, I can grab the wall more quickly than the lifeguard can see and then jump in.

Anyway, instead of swimming around me when they reached close enough, they swam INTO me. The 3rd time they did this, I stopped and politely but firmly told her that her swimming behaviour was ill mannered and could she not see that I was swimming? Her response was that she wanted to swim there and I ought to get out of the way! I ignored that and continued until she got in my face, literally, again. So I told her more firmly. Unfortunately I got a load of twaddle back and I lost my cool and swore at her. Was this the end? There was no way she was going to move. She was going to bully her way into having her own way and have me out.

I called over the lifeguard and the manager for the day came along too. I explained the problem. However, neither of them were willing to do their job. Yes, they told her that her behaviour wasn't on but the only strong words they used were toward me for swearing!(despite my apology as soon as I swore.) They did not insist their behaviour stopped. They didn't ask them to leave the pool. They didn't enforce the rules.

During this exchange, she informed us she was a police officer and would have me up on assault charges. I moved away before I hit her. But not before I said I was not at all surprised as bullies were often drawn to uniforms. She no doubt thought I swam away due to her threat. I did not. I did so to prevent me behaving badly!

I lost. I had to get out the pool as I was effectively stopped from swimming. They did not alter their behaviour, the manager and guard failed to take action.

I cannot abide bullies. I equally cannot abide those that allow it to take place when they have the power to stop it. Matters were made because John asked me when I got home what the matter was and I started to tell him and he immediately stops me because he really doesn't deal well with emotion and I was displaying anger when trying to relate what had happened. His stifling me just made me more angry. I shut up though. He still doesn't know what happened and isn't going to know I guess as he can't handle upset feelings.

I am aware I am probably more angry because all this does is set off flashbacks.

I often don't know with whom I more angry - the bullies or those that allow them to get away with it. I certainly was very well aware when I was a child and teen that others were aware of what was going on and could have stopped it if they chose to. They didn't and in my ignorance, it just confirmed my conclusion that is was happening because I deserved it. In so doing, I did not even realise I had been bullied and abused until I was in my mid 30's. Even then, I still believed until I was 49 that there was something wrong with me which caused these people to treat me that way. I know the truth is that there was something wrong with them. That knowledge has freed me to enjoy my life. I regret that the knowledge came so late in my life. Better than not all, of course.
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