Thursday, August 20, 2009

KNOCK ME OUT

I'll warn you now, this is moaning post. I am really pissed off with my condition. I HAVE been taking it more easily, listening to my body and it is still telling me to go stuff myself.

I have cut down my swimming to 3 days a week. I have cut the actual time spent swimming by half. Even that half time is not easy to do but not agony. More fatigue inducing.

I really don't think it's is the problem. It is not sleeping that is the problem. Obvious isn't it? I am having rough pain filled nights and am waking up every hour or so. I have to get up. I have to rearrange myself and usually end up sleeping sitting up. When I am asleep, I am dreaming, sometimes weird, sometimes, okay, sometimes nasty. Whatever, I am not getting deep sleep. So no wonder I am feeling so crap.

I am prone to forcing myself onward, trying to work though it but it is not working. I just seem to make matters worse. I knew when I got up this morning that I could do with staying in bed longer. Yet I had already had a day off, surely I didn't need two days off when I was doing so little? Yes was the answer to that and I found out once I had already f*cked up my day.

I don't know how to overcome this. I can't take pills for it cos I know that they lose their effectiveness. In the past, these periods of pain disturbed sleep have gone and I returned to normal. This spell has been going on nearly a year now and has got worse not better. I know I started to write about how I was having trouble doing my swimming about last November, maybe the month before.

200mg long acting Tramadol doesn't help. Morphine disturbs my sleep and gives me nightmares (common side effect). Besides, the problem seems to be more cramp in my ribcage and nothing seems to stop that happening. I might get it for many nights in row and then it stops. Other times I am not aware of pain at night but am still sleeping badly, waking every hour or so. I know I always wake to change position as I can't just roll over or whatever automatically. It takes effort.

The less I sleep the more difficult everything becomes and the more pain I am in, or maybe it just seems that way because I am exhausted and therefore do not tolerate the pain so easily.

It's a pity they have not come up with a drug that helps this that doesn't cause dependence or that one's body doesn't get used to.

Well, that is about it for now. At least writing this has shown me that my major problem is the lack of sleep and that is why I am having trouble doing everything else. Quite how I can overcome this, I don't know. Waiting for the change to come seems to be it but this has been a long time coming. In the past, it has lasted maybe a few weeks and then returned to normal. This hasn't changed for many months now.
Post a Comment