Friday, February 13, 2009

HOW IT WORKS

To those who grew up healthily, were not abused and not subjected to a fundamentalist ideology, it can be very difficult to understand those of us who were. They do not understand the mind control techniques by abusers. Please understand that I include in the term abusers those who bring up their children in their religious ideology.

Lets take a look at the religious angle first. One is taught the religious beliefs of the parents or school or other adult sin power over the child. A child naturally believes the adults around him/her. The is power that adults have over children is well known and well abused. Heard the Jesuit saying: 'give me the child until he seven and I shall give you the man'?

Tell the child that if they are not good, not what we tell you to be, you will burn in Hell for eternity. Tell the child that to doubt is wicked in itself., Tell the child that to question is wicked. Tell the child that it is Satan who puts those doubts in their mind. tell the older child who presents scientific facts which refute the religious teachings that Satan planted the evidence in order to fool him or her and he or she will got to Hell! Tell the child that they are flawed, their thinking is wicked, they do not know their own mind, if they dare to question. Who are they to question the Holy See? The nun? The priest? The pastor? How wicked they must be.

Now the adult who abuses the child in a physical or emotional or sexual way uses precisely the same techniques. They will deny the child's memory, experience, feelings. They will tell the child that

1, it did not happen
2. if it did happen it was the child's fault
3. the child is wicked so deserved it
4. it was the child's fault that the adult lost control
5. the child wanted it
6. how dare the child dishonour their parent?
7. the child was imagining it
8. the child has no reason to feel bad
9. the child is deluded
10. the child's perceptions are inaccurate.


In both cases it is highly unlikely the child will grow up to be a healthy functioning adult. It is highly likely that they will grow up to follow the same religious ideology and continue the abuse. Unfortunately, some of the sexually abused will grow up to do the same. Many also continue the violence and emotional abuse. They know nothing different.

The person brought up in such a way lives in perpetual fear and self doubt. They do not trust themselves or their ability to think and reason. They do not trust their feelings. How can they? They have been taught not to. They have been taught they are flawed and wicked.

For those abused into a religious ideology, they can grow up hate filled and believe they are love filled. They can bomb abortion clinics, kill gays, stone adulteresses send planes into buildings, beat children senseless, kill children in the effort to exorcise demons. They can do all this in the name of Love because they have been corrupted. They have been brainwashed. they have been taught to think this way.

A victim of sexual and physical and emotional abuse can continue into adulthood still being abused. They choose partners and friends who abuse them. They don't see the abuse because all they see is that they are rightly being punished for being a wicked person. they spend their lives trying to be good and therefore stop the pain. if only they were good, if only they could get their act together, they would not be treated badly. it never occurs to them that they are not at fault and that the way those around them are treating them is wrong and not their fault.

If they dare to start to question their badness, to dare to suggest that their parents or family or others in control over them, were abusive, they will be subjected to further stronger abuse and denial.

It takes enormous strength and courage to escape this mind set. There is huge fear involved. Huge pain. Such that it could kill you or send you insane. I am proof that it can be achieved. There are others like me who managed to escape.

Still there are many others who do escape and still many othIi met at the Knitting fair who home schooled her children because she was a fundamentalist Xtian. My heart aches for her and my heart fears greatly for her poor children that she is abusing in the most wicked an insidious way and with the full sanction of the government.

Our government sanctions the abuse of children by allowing faith schools. The physical abuse of children is sanctioned by the law allowing the circumcision of babies and children. The barbaric mutilation of boys like this is so commonplace that we don't even see it as abuse! Yet when done to a girl, we do. One cannot compare pain or abuse. Abuse is abuse, there are no gradings!

The world we live in, the pain and suffering all around us is there because WE ALLOW IT. If we don't allow it, we cause it. WE PUT OUR IDEAS ABOVE THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OR OURSELVES AND OUR YOUNG.We pass on our fear and shame and guilt to out young. Above all we pass on the inability to see the pain and suffering and it's cause.

How can one believe people are evil? Is it not clear that the evil perpetrated by people is seen as good by them? And for those who commit evil acts, such as torture, or the physical punishment of children, do so because they are releasing their own pain? They have become twisted and corrupted by those who had control over them.

Actions and ideas can be evil and result in evil. Human beings are not.
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