Wednesday, December 16, 2009


It could be! It is -1c here right now. Frost covers much outside. The temperature is -1c(30f) and is expected to fall to -10c (14f) by Friday. Brrrr.

As weird as it is, I love winter. I especially like it when it is cold like now. Dry or snow. I hate rain. I hate rain no matter what the temperature. It takes my freedom away. Okay, so too much snow does too but at least it looks beautiful!

The dogs love snow too. Have no idea why but they clearly do. If it snows, they want out and they play in it. I am quite certain they would have snowball fights if they could.

How about this then? Nechung has solved our problem. She toddles off down the stairs until she gets to the last few, which are the real problem due to the gate and I think because of her poor sight and she loses her nerve there. She waits for me to reach her, but first moves right over to the left so I can get by her. Now she could have moved over to the right but that would not be so good for me as the bannister is on the right hand side. I pass her, turn around and lift her down the last three steps and past the gate. How did she figure this out?

I am going to bath Whitney today and then get on with knitting up those dye jobs. I am going to knit just plain old st st so I can get thru them more quickly.

I have found a good wholesale supplier of excellent yarns and also a dye range I am going to use. I then may offer the hanks up for sale, either directly, or via Ebay, Etsy and Folksy.

The main trouble I have with dyeing is this: how do I part with what I dye? I want to keep them all and knit them up! (Come to think of it what do I do with the hundreds of pre-dyed balls I have?)

About being 51 today: I feel so lucky to have got here. There was along period of time I would have sworn I would not have made it. I also did not want to make it. It couldn't' be more different today. I love my life. I love who I have become. Myself. It's been a long struggle but I am here, being me and learning more with each passing day. Okay so physically I am crap but that is nought when compared to the emotional anguish I lived with for so long. Now I want to get old before I set off on my next Big Adventure. Yes, I do believe that death is but an illusion and there will be an adventure to be had after I leave this body behind. I believe the same happens to all of us and is independent of our beliefs and behaviour. I do think, however, that the quality of the experience will very much depend upon our beliefs and actions and for the experience to improve, one will have to evaluate and change. Just like here. Only one will have more knowledge and will not be hampered by the restrictions of the physical world.
I am well aware that the idea of surviving death is nonsensical. If experience had not taught me otherwise, I'd think it was nuts. Mind you, I think the alternative view is also nuts: that all this is for nought, that this is just an accident, that life has no meaning. Oh, how I have longed for that to be true, that death would mean the END, it's over. What a relief that would have been to me. I reluctantly came to know that life doesn't end with the death of the body. Oh shit! Now what? Well, I came to terms with it and now look forward to the coming adventure.

I can feel a long essay coming on so I'll stop while I can....

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