Tuesday, September 29, 2009


This is the second time this year that this Amaryllis has flowered. This has four flowers. The other looks as though it might flower again too.

I went for my swim at the later time, which seems to suit me much better. Although once I was home and changed my clothing, I realised I had already run out of spoons. Pish! So I shall knit socks and watch dvd's.

I saw the first half of the first episode of Flash Forward last night. It looks promising. If we like it, we will wait for it to be out on DVD. I refuse to watch ads every few minutes or waste time FF thru them. Are we really as thick as the programme makers make out, with such short attention spans? If so, it's a wonder any film makes it the cinema.

On THAT list, you know the one, the person who made the homophobic remarks seems to be suffering from envy just as I thought. I have since seen what she has written about me to others and it is clear she is jealous. It certainly irks her I don't work!

Listen up now! If you want my life, you have to have the past 50 years too and my 24/7 pain. You can't pick and choose. If you want what I have, you have to go thru it all and HAVE what I have. I am flattered that anyone would envy me.

Oh and it has become very clear that I press the buttons of a certain psychologist with no personal insight. She might want to look at why instead of taking every opportunity she can to take a swing.

As if I needed reminding how uninsightful shrinks are!

Have you ever wondered how this world would be without fear? I don't mean necessary fears - like of height, poisonous animals, lions etc as those fears are part of survival. I mean the fear of not being good enough, not having enough, of not being safe. It seems to me those fears are at the root of our ills. They probably affect all of us to a degree. The more they affect us the more our behaviour is going to reflect it.

It just occurred to me that this is what lies behind those two people who swing at me. They fear me. How weird is that? Not very weird at all. If you look at why, you'd soon see. I threaten both of their ideas about how people 'should' be. They feel threatened and they lash out. They don't see this of course. They see the twig in my eyes, not the log in theirs.

The one thing I have known for a very long time is that those who are the most judgemental are those whose own behaviour is appalling. My parents were very judgemental of others. Very condemnatory. Look how they were! I knew people who robbed for a living. Cheque kiting etc. They were EXTREMELY judgemental of others. especially those who 'mugged' people. Yet how the f**k did they think they got the cheque cards and credit cards they used to steal with? A gay friend of mine's mother looked down upon us, gay people, because we don't have good relationships. Says she who was on her 3rd failed marriage!!!! And I am on the same one for 28 years. Oh really?

People put you down in order to put themselves up. If they didn't feel that need, they wouldn't. It's why the religious bigots do what they do- the idiots think that intolerance and cruelty pleases their God. Right now, here in the UK, there are a couple of bones making their way around he country whilst people venerate them. In the name of their God. Fools. And soon we are to be blessed by a visit by the Pope. Yes the same Pope who appears to like Nazis, and who hates gays. Logical no? Aw, come one now, of course it is. And millions have been duped and corrupted into believing the crap. I know. I was taught by nuns and priests. They taught that to question was evil. That it was Satan who made me doubt. Later, in a different but the same, brand of Xtianity, we were taught that Satan planted all the evidence for evolution and any other science that contradicted what the elders said was true and I , of course, because I dared to use my brain and think, was branded Devil Spawn.

So be warned. My spawn may infect you.

Finally, whilst I am at it, in the last 12 years of Internetting, the meanest most foul and cruel emails have all come from Xtians. No I didn't assume they were, they told me so. They told how much they loved Jesus and how much they hated me.


(you know, I am never sure what is going to come out when I write so it is surprising and interesting to me to find out what I think.)

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