Thursday, January 29, 2009

Pool Bully

I just got back from the pool, 40 minutes later than planned. Despite all that went before, the lifeguard's behaviour has not changed. I walked out to the poolside, with her watching me, and I stood by the stairs they put in for us with mobility problems. she didn't move. I had already said to the previous lifeguard, that if this happened, I wouldn't cause a scene, I would just throw my stick and keys to the wall so that I did not have to let go of the rail. This I did. This is when madam decided to get up off her arse. She sauntered across, put my stick and keys on the ledge, and sauntered back.

Later as I was changing, (different lifeguard when I got out, so was helped out), I knew I was going to have to speak to the manage again and I sent out a silent request that I be helped to keep my cool. As I walked out of the changing room, she was stood there along with a deputy manager. I took this opportunity to vent my anger. I did so with out swearing, which I am apt to do with really filthy words and expressions, and without foaming at the mouth. I just very firmly told her I was not going to tolerate her bullying and that whatever was wrong with her and her life should stay out of her work. That her bullying of me was either based upon homophobia or that she sees me as weak because I am physically less able than she. I told she had made a big mistake in whatever she thought because I was not going to meekly accept her despicable behaviour.

She stood looking shocked and as if butter wouldn't' melt and feigned hurt disbelief as if she didn't have a clue what I was on about. She denied refusing to help me.I called her a liar, which I was later told I ought not have done. My response to her manager when he said this, was that as she was lying thru her teeth and the adjective was appropriate.

They only see a smiling, jocular person, not this one. I was asked if I wanted tea or coffee and would I go and sit in the office and talk about it. I needed some persuading as I told them I did not feel at all confident it would do any good as everything I had done up till then hadn't worked.

Well, they listened and realised there was was a procedural problem. She could lie and there was no one but me to say so. So now, when I or another infirm person arrives, a phone call to poolside will be made to say that a person needing assistance will soon arrive. This way she cannot pretend to not see me. As to the problem of her not standing close enough when I get out, I can deal with that as I have done up till now and if she refuses, I will yell HELP really loudly. I have a feeling though that I might not need to.

I don't feel good about this at all. I'd rather it hadn't happened. I told the manager I was not after an apology or to be liked, just to be treated with respect. I would continue to treat her as I always have done, with a smile and good morning and thank you. I expect her to do the same.


Anonymous said...

This is really a tough situation. Bullies hate to be called on it and the only way to deal with a bully is to be a bigger bully. So says the good doctor.

Anonymous said...

Dear Colin-after reading your blog today I feel so angry-I want to go to your pool and punch that woman's lights out. How dare she treat you and others so disgracefully.
I do so admire the way that you are dealing with this situation. Poor sad woman-what a way to spend one's time at work. I suppose that one should feel compassion for her-but as your friend I am spitting tacks.
I hope that your service goes well tonight.
Take care-speak soon xx

Nan said...

Good for you!
It had to be tough to do and I applaud your gumption. It is horrible having to deal with passive-aggressive bullies. I'm so glad that they have implemented a new procedure that will, hopefully, make her more accountable.

Anonymous said...

Stick to having your needs met and nothing more. Brave and strong you are for withstanding all of this but who gives a **trucker mouth deleted by author** who will and won't do their jobs. Its only an issue until its a real issue. Hopefully for the service it will not come to this.

Fortunately, you know your limitations and will seek assistance before it is a real problem. I hate that this is causing you issue.