Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Good News

No I haven't been saved.

JOHN

John is very happy and so am I. His work has finally seen sense and got him back doing what he is world renowned for in his field-writing and researching. He is now in charge of the 300 yr celebration in 2017. I am so pleased for him. He has been treated badly for a number of years and turned into a PR man which whilst he is good at that, it is not his forte. History, archiving and academia is his calling. He gets a new office, keeps his PA and now has no one under him. He is relieved about that.

POOL

On Saturday, when I arrived at the pool side, I asked X for his assistance. The bully woman heard me and she stood between me and X and asked him to do something for her. X told her that he would when he had finished assisting me. I was impressed by X. I was also wondering if I was being paranoid. Decided I was not, and I told the duty manager on the way out, but I told him I would just tell him what happened and leave the interpretation to him. Well, X backed me up! he independently told the DM what had happened.

I am so relieved that other staff here are backing me. They know it is true. I struggled with this for months, in light of what happened at the previous pool. I was really worried that it would seem like I was the instigator as this was just a repeat of the other pool. I even doubted myself. Then I realised that I was indeed an easy target for bullies because of my rather obvious vulnerability. The mistake this bully made was assuming I was weak just because I am physically handicapped.

Every morning, I greet the staff with a smile, always willing to chat, am courteous and friendly. This has stood me in good stead because it is obvious to everyone there that I am not deserving of the maltreatment by this person.

SOCKS

Well, they are going well. Up the legs on both socks now and no errors. Hopefully they will soon be finished. I have been itching to start another pair but have controlled my urges.

SLEEP

Not so good news. Despite taking the drugs at night, I am not getting much sleep before pain wakes. It seems to bother me more at night now than during the day. Not just my ribs but my hips and legs too. Last night and Sunday night were bad. I manage to sleep 4 hours if I am lucky. I think I need to take the drugs when I put my book down to sleep, instead of when I go to bed, though that would only give me another half hour. No matter how good the book is, I just can't read that long before I nod off. (I am still reading The Gargoyle and am more impressed with it as I get further into it. It is a remarkable work.) It has crossed my mind to keep drugs by the bed and take them when I wake but I worry that is dangerous as I am only supposed to take them every 6 hours and when I wake I am often only partly awake and I could take them in error, or after only 4 hours. Besides, they then take an hour to work so would it help anyway? I seem to do better if I sleep sitting up but that is really a pain to do unless I up and sleep on the recliner.

Any ideas?

ABUSE BOOKS

Someone told they were reading one of these misery books - people relating their abusive childhoods. I have serious misgivings about these books and their popularity to the extent they now merit their own section in book shops.

Anyway, she was saying that she found the book hard to believe and asked me what I thought. (She doesn't know about my past.) Her main doubt was caused by her not understanding how a child can withstand such things. She could not imagine a child being able to survive it, so she doubted the truth of it. I told her that children are remarkable and that we can shut off or block out or disappear or whatever it is we do. That is how we survive it. I told her that as it nearly killed me when I finally did feel it as a fully grown man in his late 40's, I truly understand whey a child has no choice but shut down. It is a survival mechanism and one which serves the human race well. How does one think that children in Gaza or Iraq or Rwanda cope? They shut down. They have to or they die or go insane.

8 comments:

Iris said...

I'm glad it wasn't THAT kind of "good news." LOL

You're not being paranoid about the pool worker.

No, you should NOT put your meds by the bed and take them, half asleep, in the middle of the night. I, too, get up in the night because my joints are aching and I just can't stay still. Rather than keep Jim up, too, I get up for awhile.

I'm glad John's getting this recognition he deserves. You have no idea how much I'd love to meet you both. You KNOW why I want to meet YOU, but I'd also love to meet John and learn about his work. It sounds like something I'd find utterly fascinating.

Take care of yourself. It sounds as though the bully is getting a little well deserved come uppence. (how do you spell that????)

BammerKT said...

Yay for the pool situation! It kind of restores my faith in humanity a little bit (but not totally).

Looking forward to seeing the socks, but very sorry to hear pain is keeping you awake. How awful.

kshotz said...

Congrats to John! And to you for all that is happening at the pool. It is nice to be validated. I'm glad the others are doing the right thing by not tolerating this woman's bullying. I am sorry to hear you're having sleep difficulties. I know how that impacts all the rest. I do hope a good solution presents itself! (I wish I had a good answer for you!)

Kim in IA

Yarnhog said...

That first sentence made me laugh out loud. Heartily. Thanks.

marilyn said...

Hi Colin-great news about John-such a shame, though, that he has had to wait so long.
Well done you for behaving as you did at the pool. Although it doesn't perhaps make an awful lot of difference to you at the moment, surely now the management will have to take notice..bite the bullet and sack the b...h. Also, I am sure that the other lifeguard will have felt more able to deal with the woman.
You have right on your side.
Re your drugs at bedtime.When I was in pain and had to take meds. at night, I found it helpful to take them about an hour before I thought that I would fall asleep...in other words, they got into my bloodstream before I fell asleep.
Hope that you feel better soon.
Love and stuff
Marilyn xx

Nan said...

Your opening line gave me a giggle. I always want to ask folks what in the world they need to be "saved" from? (beyond themselves, in some cases.)

Glad to hear about the good life guard at the pool. The bully will eventually get the karmic payback she deserves but it's nice you have the support of others there.

Congrats to John. It can be such a life suck doing work that isn't your true calling.

joannamauselina said...

You are right about bullies. My Rebecca is the dearest girl, but all through school, she was the victim of bullies who could see that she would not fight back. Her 25 year grade school reunion was a triumph, with the bullied nerds on top. And the meanest teacher groveling.

FugueStateKnits said...

Colin, how wonderful that you are realizing that the past has held you back from realizing that your feelings, impressions, perceptions and senses are sane and correct! Glad that you are feeling your own power.
Joanna is so right - life has a funny way of turning things around!
sorry you are still in so much pain at night, but putting meds by the bed can kill you if you wake up, not realizing that you've taken them already.
And dear Colin, you're already "saved." (from your sperm donor!!!)