Saturday, November 01, 2008

Blog Awards

I am touched that anyone would think to give this blog an award. I have not done this to anyone and I will explain why, lest anyone should feel hurt.

I do not have the time! You see, I'd have to give the award to EVERYONE that I read for fear of hurting feelings. I read too many blogs for that.

As far as I am concerned they are all awarded Colin's mark of approval!

Blogging is a
quite remarkable thing and it does take some gumption to do it, especially when one is not anonymous. Or maybe only when one isn't. Whatever, I find it fascinating to get the glimpses into people that blogs offer. Mind you, I have to say, that I do now hold back on some things I would otherwise write as I am not anonymous. I couldn't write what I really think about events or people at dog shows for instance. Oh of course I could write it but I don't want the consequences so I don't.

I admit when I first started to blog, I had no idea why. Then it became a way of expressing my deepest feelings and also a way to help me heal. A way to see more clearly. As a by product I discovered much about others and also that my writing my personal stuff helped others too. I did panic a bit when I realised I was no longer anonymous. Then I realised it did not really matter. I have taken particular care to not identify any of those I have written about, especially family. They could not be identified from my writings, I have left those bits out, and not even by my own name as it is not the name I given at birth. I changed it when I was old enough. I know this name change is considered an act of spite or something by my family. It wasn't at all and never occurred to me that it might be seen that way,(cos I was stupid!), it wa snot a way to distance myself form them, or escape debts(which was asked of me!!!). No I changed it because it made me cringe every time I heard it. I could not bear it. It was far too appropriate a name too. Oddly, though I changed it age 19, it was my early 20's before I used the change. I suddenly got my social security number sent to me with the new name on it. I had not realised that what I did had sealed it. I only asked how I went about it. I didn't realise it had been done at the time of my asking. So I had it changed by deed poll just to seal it. Now I can hear my name called and not cringe.

As you can tell, I ramble. This was about why I don't give blog awards.


Anonymous said...

I thought this was a fascinating story. I hadn't realized you'd changed your name. If my life ever takes a major change (only you understand this), I'm changing my name, as well.

BammerKT said...

I have to admit, i hold stuff back because of the members of my family who read my blog. Oh well! A lot of your writings have helped me. I used to think it was crazy that an adult would get into an abusive situation, then it happened to me and it was so gradual, I didn't know it was happening. So many things you've talked about make me say "wow, it's not only me" which is a relief! Thanks for writing! Keep it up.