Friday, November 07, 2008

Innocent Slips Of The Tongue (warning rude bits)

We have a new central heating control. I knew how to work it but it was the first time John had seen it.

I yelled upstairs, 'would you put the heating on please?'

He yelled back, 'how?'

My reply was, 'just put in on cont.'

He yelled back, 'there's no need to be rude!'.

Having been taken aback I then said, 'no, click the button until CONT shows on the screen.'

I had my hair cut today.

Sue and I mentioned how we don't go thru the night without peeing now. She complained that her partner took forever. I was trying to find a polite way of explaining why a night time pee for man is not easy.
'I know it takes time. We can't just pee when it is pointing upward. It makes it hard.'
Her response was, ' I see where you are coming from.'

At that we both burst out laughing.

Last night at my spiritual meeting I was discussing with two women a news item about Sphinx cats. They are hairless and delightful. I knew someone who bred them. I said stroking them was like stroking a suede hot water bottle. Carol was walking by and asked 'what's like a suede hot water bottle?' and I replied ' a hairless pussy' without thinking. Well, you should have heard these ladies roar. I went red but also saw the funny side.

Reminds me of how my dear friend Sarah, her of the very posh voice, said to me at Cruft's , in earshot of a few hundred people, that she looked at my thing every night! (She meant my blog.) It was very funny.


Anonymous said...

Colin, you are such a rogue!
Lovely stories-but did you honestly, hand on heart, not have a twinkle in your eye when you said "hairless pussy"?

Yarnhog said...

Thanks for the chuckles.

In answer to your question, Eco Wool is 100% Peruvian highland wool, "minimally-processed" and surprisingly soft. It comes in enormous 250 gram hanks at a very good price. (And if you're wondering what possible use I could make of heavy wool in San Diego, I can only respond that I frequently wonder the same thing, but that doesn't stop me from knitting with it.)

Anonymous said...

Buy Eco Wool! Buy Eco Wool!

Oh, yes, and I agree with Marilyn. Methinks there was, perhaps, just a bit of mischievousness aforethought in your little verbal escapades.

LizzieK8 said...

Not naughty bits, funny bits! Isn't it amazing how a simple slip of the tongue can create so much fun! ;)

ReesieAnn said...

Knitman... you are AWESOME! I have permanently put your blog on my "Blogs to read/check" everyday. You always have something insightful to say or funny to say or an interesting outfit on! Love it all!!!!

BammerKT said...

ahahahaha! I had to read this post to my hubby and we both had a good chuckle about the central heating!

tinebeest said...

Oh Colin, you make me laugh!