Wednesday, June 30, 2010

UNWELCOME GUEST

I was up early today.  It was a good start to the day I went swimming as usual, and that went very well.  And then I came home and did the things I need to do here.  I sat and I did some knitting for a while.  Then I had a nap, and then I went for my three o'clock appointment at the optician.  This is when my day got unpleasant.

The optician is too far from the car park for me to have walked.  When I made the appointment, they are aware that I am a wheelchair user, and they told me that they had a ramp, which they would put in place when I went to my appointment.  I arrived at 5 to 3.  The ramp was not in place and they made me wait 20 minutes sitting outside on the pavement.  I sat there getting more and more annoyed and wondering at the same time if I had a right to be annoyed.  Was I being too sensitive,  etc etc

I wrote about what happened on Facebook, and all of the responses expressed outrage that I was treated like that.  I suppose, then, it wasn't unreasonable that I felt upset about it.

No matter how far I have come on the matter how well people think I there are times, just like this one, where I am confused.  Are being abused still confuses me.  I have to wonder if I am being abused or not.  In this case, yes, they treated me badly.

This is an example of what I mean, when I say that one never overcomes childhood abuse.  One gains strength to live with it and live well, but situations like this will always arise and the same doubts and confusion and feelings will arise again.  It can come out of the blue like an unwelcome visitor and whilst I have not learned to welcome it, I accept that it happens.

On an entirely different and more positive note, I am really getting the hang of this Dragon NaturallySpeaking program.  It really is much better and quicker than typing, and although it is not  fool proof, it takes much less time to correct than my bad typing does.

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