Saturday, April 10, 2010


First of all with regard to dreams, it is said that we enter REM  (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep approximately 90 minutes after going to sleep. I start to dream the minute I close my eyes, wherever I am.

I dream vividly and have good recall. My dreams have been prophetic and have also been instrumental in showing me areas of myself that I need to look at. I had a dreadful dream in ‘07 that heralded the pain and anguish I went thru toward the end of that year which led to my epiphany and the freeing myself from my past.

I have dreamed of other people, of specific things happening to them and they happened.

Last night I dreamed of a famous man, married with two children, sons, who was in fact gay. The dream was all about freeing him from the lie he had woven for himself. I seemed to be his mentor but I didn’t want to be. As it turned out our conversation was overheard by a woman friend and so the cat was out of the bag and it looked as if he wasn’t going to have to tell his wife after all.

Weird dream and I was glad to awake from it. I am not suggesting this is a prophetic dream. I have no idea what it was about.

I recall dreams from many years back, right to childhood.

In the 80’s I woke one morning to see a mushroom cloud rising up. I saw this through my kitchen window. I vividly recall the fear I felt. Then I just knew that the bomb had gone off in Iran(maybe Iraq) and not London so my fear was lessened.

I dreamed, when I was sixteen, of a family friend carrying me in his arms and he placed me in a grave. I turned into a cat and ran away. This man had in reality, paid for me to see a private doctor. I had thought he did this because he could see how I was suffering and I thought finally someone was going to help me. Not so. This was because he figured out I was gay and the private shrink was all about straightening me out. What a betrayal. Not even the doctor saw I was deeply disturbed and an abuse victim.

One dream I had, changed my life. I had tried to end my life and I put myself into a coma. When I awoke I had a drip in and mask over my face. I proceed to pull it all off, especially the drip. For some reason I recall how that hurt going in several days earlier.

Anyway, during that period of unconsciousness, I dreamed I was walking in darkness toward a group of people who seemed to be standing a in a misty glowing light. As I got closer, I could see one of the people was my Aunt Jesse (who had died in 77 I think). She held her arms out to me and I was hugged by her. She told me I had to go back, that I could not stay.

I knew then  I could not escape this pain, that life did not end with physical death. Far from it bringing me peace it filled me with fear and rage. It turned out though to be the beginning my journey to recovery. It also brought about the understanding that I had a gift, all my life, called mediumship. It took a long time before I accepted this as a good thing. To me it was just another thing to feel shame about.

All through my growing up, I had ‘weird experiences’ and with no one to share them with, I hid them away and was ashamed. I often though was unaware of it working. When I said things that were true, and it discomfited the adults around me, I just assumed I had been told by someone and had forgotten. I never thought about spirit people then as I didn't know about it. I had friends that I ‘ made up’ but hey were real enough to me. I often  talked to myself, I am told. I ma not one of those who can say I saw and spoke with spirit all through my growing years. I was ignorant of such things.

Today it is a different story of course. I know who and what I am. I use my gifts. I give talks and demonstrations. Not many as Spiritualists are as bigoted as anyone else and many find me unacceptable so do not book me. Why do I know that? Well one booking secretary told me outright I was not approved of and I also know it isn’t because I don’t give good evidence. I do. I also tend to speak of power of though and belief and personal responsibility, the corner stone of Spiritualist philosophy, but it isn’t approved of by some. Nor is my telling my story of how I was raised from the gutter to the life I have now. Strange how they object to that.

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