Thursday, April 15, 2010


Daniel II arrived at 8.15am. Yes, he fits in Ms Jeeves. He rolls up the ramp, loads of room once in.

He is much lighter than Daniel I. His seat is much more comfortable. The whole thing is about 30kg less in  weight than Daniel I.

I am still trying to figure out why I feel so upset. I do. Really. My gut is really bad this morning. Own fault. Ate a bread roll last evening. I feel frustrated and concerned that this new lighter Daniel is  not going to be suitable for all that I did in Daniel I.

I also think I am upset because this incident intruded on the way I deal with my disease. I tend not to think about it. I take each day as it comes. I don’t see myself as handicapped. (I prefer that word because it is more accurate. I am not unable to do thinks, I am just handicapped by my body-I have to have aids or take it slowly etc.That doesn't make me disabled.) Anyway, this incident rammed it home that I have problems. I couldn’t just think oh what the hell, it doesn’t matter. It DOES matter.

Other than the fact Ms Jeeves is a lovely car, I was also looking forward to the freedom I would have due to the back of the car  being flat when the door is up. It meant being able to use ramps to get Daniel in and out ON MY OWN. So discovering that he didn’t fit really upset me. Then there is spending yet more money because of my disease.

It really does cost me much more to get by than it would if I was fit. I have to wear underclothes to keep warm, stuff I wouldn’t normally have to wear. Tights, special pressure garments, and all have to be thin as can be. I need supports on my hands. I can cook and I love food but I have to buy stuff already washed and chopped because my hands don’t work as they should and knives in  my hands are dangerous!

I feel uncomfortable writing all this, moaning away. I can’t be chipper all the time. I do feel pissed off so I am writing that. After all it is ME, warts and all, and I ought not let pride stop me showing my negative feelings too. I know I have shared other painful stuff here. I tend not about my disease. I hate moaners who go on and on about their ailments. Blow it! It can be a real PITA to deal with and I do feel pissed off with it. So I am moaning about ailments!

I think I may feel happier with Daniel II once I have used him to get around sight seeing and stuff. I know he will not be a problem in a mall.

I have hanking still to do and then I shall be posting more yarns into my shop at Knitman’s Kitchen

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