Sunday, July 12, 2009

Oh DEAR.....

On Friday I felt particularly good. I'd had a crap week and Luque and Nechung had gone without a bath. I needed to bath Whitney for the show. So I did all three of them plus Bridget.

By bed time, my right hand and right ribs and shoulder were all hurting and when I awoke my right hand was almost unusable. I can't open bottles with it nor grip. It is still the same this Sunday morning.

Okay, so I learned, yet again, that just because I am having a good day does not mean I am miraculously cured. It also does not mean I don't have to take care and pace myself.

Most importantly, I have learned that two dogs is the most I could possibly show because of the preparation. I can't believe how much my hand hurts nor how little I can use it right now.

At the show I also met Marion from Holland whom I first met at the World Show in Dortmund in 03.It like Marion and it was good to see her again.

There is a clique of people who live near me. They don't talk to me, have not had anything to say about Whitney's success despite me congratulating them when they have had success. So what? What does get my goat is that when John is with me, they speak to him like a friend!!! F'ng hypocrites.

I had a very difficult phone call last night from a friend. I had been aware that there had been a distance between us. Since I have changed at core, I knew this was not my fault. I didn't know what it is was about. It had crossed my mind it might be because of Whitney's success but that didn't feel right. I found out last night.

Other people have become friendly toward me and amongst those people are people who have hurt my friend deeply. My friend thought they would try and get me away from her and ruin our friendship. It took a while of heated discussion before she cried and told me the truth about how she was feeling. I had already figured it out and my heart went out to her. I knew EXACTLY how she was feeling. I have been there. I knew how insecure she felt. I assured her that I was her friend and only she could change that, that others could not. I assured her truthfully, that nothing had ever been said to me about her, that these other people were not that close and we just passed the time of day. I am not sure my friend took all this in. The conversation went on for ages with her getting more and more upset and I was trying hard not to be offended. I told her that I am not the person she fears I am, that I have integrity and she had to choose to trust me or not. The choice was hers. I then told her good bye as I didn't see any benefit in talking around in circles. Oh, and I also made it clear that NO ONE tells me who to be friends with and who not to be, including her. Anyway, I would prefer very much that we remain friends and I hope that is what she chooses because if she doesn't she has let these people hurt her again but this time at her behest.

Honestly, we never grow up really do we? The same feelings we have as children are still there as adults.

I have had to open yet another non payment case on Ebay. A person bid and won on 4 of my items and has not paid and has not contacted me or responded to my contact. I have no other way of selling so I have to stick with this, I do not want to just dump my stash. Fortunately most buyers and bidders are decent people some are not and some are a PITA. I am also really ticked off with those who do not bother to leave feedback or even let me know that their yarn arrived.

Another benefit of my blog-writing down the stuff that bothers me gets it out of my system.

I really want to be taking pain killers this morning but I can't. I took long acting ones last night and the 12 hours are not up yet. Really, I think these slow release pills are crap.
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