I was watching Without Trace and the story turned out to be about a 12 yr old boy who goes off to hang himself after being bullied at school. He is saved by the FBI and his parents. The difference between that boy and me is that he had allies - his parents, they didn't bully him too. I had none. It still shocks me that I can so swiftly be transported back 40 years and wet my face gets in second, before I even have time to register what is going on inside me.
I hated that boy for so long. Now I just wish someone had been there to hold him and tell him he wasn't shit , as I was nicknamed.
It really is astonishing I am who I am today and have the good life I have. I haven't just survived, I LIVE.
Another long stretch, but hoping to be more regular
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8 comments:
I agree that it's a miracle that you made it. You have come a long, long way.
I saw that episode - that poor kid - and we still haven't done what we can to stop that, although nowadays there are more and more programs to do something, the true shame of it is that TEACHERS do NOT take a stand on this SHIT. It is the bullies who are shit - never you!
SO glad you overcame the shits who raised you without you becoming covered in their stink - truly a miracle!
Hugs,
Joan
Colin, You are an inspiration! if that's the word, Pain gets you down, as it does with most folk who have it but then you write about your socks and your work and I think that helps alot of folks, especially when you write about your "SOCKS" Keep up the good work..
Personally, i think you have become a wonderful person. I wish i could change your childhood for you.
HUG!
A few years ago, my therapist told me that I needed to go back and mother the little girl that I was. It was good advice, but it took a bit of work to put it into practice. That little girl is still sad on occasion, but she doesn't feel the need to cope with all of what went before.
I think you've done quite a lot to comfort your little abused boy. And yes, kudos to you for having gotten to where you are! So many others simply are unable to do it.
You obviously have learned to nurture all on your own. You also have learned to express yourself creatively.
Good for you, Colin!
Indigo Incarnates
I know what you mean. I hate to be reminded of the years when my life was a living hell. When I was bullied at school, my dad actually rootted for the bullies. i'd be harrassed by 4-5 thugs at once and then dad would call me a wimp and say how awesome he thought the bullies were.
I think you are so amazing and such an inspiration to all of us. I am a therapist who works primarily with children and families, many who have been abused. It is so difficult to get past this pain (some of my adult clients haven't done this work yet which is quite understandable given how hard it is to do). Congratulations on your progress.
*hugs* If you want 'em. You are a remarkable man. :)
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