SwimmingIt took me many years to understand that. It isn't an easy concept because it goes against what we are brought up to believe. Most of us are taught that we are responsible for how others feel and behave, that we are so powerful that we can make others feel or behave the way they do. BULL!
I am somewhat sore today and my gut doesn't feel too hot. I still managed my swim. I am persevering with the new foods in my diet. After a week I have not gained weight. However, my gut is now beginning to play up somewhat. Too soon to give up though.
She and the puppies are doing well. I am supplementing the smallest with puppy formula in a human baby bottle as she is getting pushed out by her bigger siblings. She gulps it down so needs it. Once her weight is up she will be able to fend for herself.
Below is what came out when I responded to an email:
Because my husband is treating
me bad and has for 40 years now ( only his temper is getting worse) *is not
because* of anything I've done.
We can control the way we behave but not necessarily the way we feel. However, just because we feel something does not mean we have to act on it!
There is no point feeling a bad over what we feel, there is little we can do about feelings. There is plenty we can do about behaviour. I might feel like wringing the neck of a noisy dog at 3AM or ramming my car into an aggressive driver. I don't act on it. don't waste time and energy putting yourself down because of how you feel at times.
What we THINK is most important. What we think dictates the life we lead. By 'what we think' I am not referring to those moments when we curse because we stubbed our toe or because a driver cut us up. No I mean what we think about ourselves, others, the world we live in and God. These are the important thoughts. If you feel you are not worthy, that you are a shameful person, that you are not good enough, this is the foundation for a miserable life. Not only are you going to be an easy target for abusers but also for religious abusers-fundamentalists. If you already feel you are bad to the core, it is going to be easy for a religious control freak to 'rescue' you by feeding on your shame and lack of self worth and convince you that you are not acceptable to God either-unless you believe as they do. For me the question of what is right and what isn't cannot be clearly answered-no one can possibly know what is right but it is easy to tell what is wrong. Any belief system that says if you don't believe you will be destroyed or sent to suffer in hell, is clearly wrong. Such an idea is merely there to control you, feeding non your shame and fear.
Your shame and fear is also what abusers closer to you, like partners, parents, bosses, co-workers etc , use to manipulate you. The abuse and control you and convince you that 1. they care about you , 2. that you are not being abused. 3. if you are being abused then you deserve it OR that you caused the abuser to abuse.
How we feel about difference in people-gender, sexuality, race, social class, work, money etc is all important. It contributes to our life either for good or for bad. Do you think you are a lesser person than the President or the Queen or the Pope? Are you, in your mind, worth less than these people? Do you know they are just people like you? Do you think that person is less than you just because they are different to you? A different skin tone? Different nationality? Different social class? Just different is enough for some people to think lowly of another.
You cannot escape what you truly think. What you believe in your heart will out and be reflected in your life. We don't experience life as it is but only how we think it is. We truly do create the world we live in-each of us and individually. No two people see the world in the same way and even those that appear to believe the same things, do so for different reasons. We each experience life differently and each create meaning from those experiences differently.
Everything is subjective. we cannot know objective truth because we can step outside of ourselves. NO ONE knows what THE TRUTH is. No one. We can only have ideas. And we can have an idea how close we are by how our lives are. The more unhappy our lives, the more clear it is that our ideas and beliefs are wrong.
Many people kid themselves that they believe such and such a thing because they' pass the buck to your upbringing or your church. Bigotry dwells in you nowhere else. Of course some people say they hold beliefs which deep down they are not comfortable with but they have been taught that they are bad if they disagree so they continue to spout the belief until such time as they have the courage to dissent, or until their own self- centredness becomes too much too bear. After all, when you get down to it, doing something or encouraging something you feel to be wrong, in order to curry favour with God is still wicked!