Monday, June 16, 2008

Cats and Pigeons

I have stopped itching. My headache and 'cold' have gone. The bloat and gut discomfort have gone though I am still having to go too often. 4 days off wheat. Oh, and my joints feels better today. Not sure if that flare has anything to do with the wheat. Mind you, I did almost fall twice today because my legs went funny. Specifically I couldn't feel my feet properly. Fine now.

Now for something delicate.

A number of years ago I met a couple from the Southern USA. I chose to get on alright with them and have since had some correspondence due to our mutual passion for knitting.

It seems they have taken exception, not in a mean or angry way, to my post where I implied that the Southern USA states are not exactly safe for gay people. It was clear, from my post,I was not talking about city life, but outback life.

Anyway, they want to dispel the myth that southerners are bigoted as my post I suggested. Trouble is, this couple are! Or were. But they don't see it. They made several bigoted and offensive remarks regarding gay people whilst at the same time telling me how they were not bigots! The one I recall most clearly, was that they really object to gay people being so promiscuous! Not only is that a stereotype, but not true of all gay people just as it is not true of all non gay people. The promiscuousness of non gay people is paraded for all to see on the tv now.


Anyway, these people were guests, I didn't want the hassle, and I know they are good people if only they'd get educated on this subject and drop the homophobia. They won't because they don't think they are. I have also chosen not to directly answer the email and to say my piece here.
I have grown enough to know that just because someone is homophobic, doesn't mean they are bad. Of course, it depends on the degree of their bigotry. I aint gonna be tolerant of those who want me dead or cured!

The email rather put me on the spot. Ignore it completely was not the right thing. Respond and not say what I wanted to say was not an option. So this option seemed like the best one.

The only way for the Southern USA to get a better reputation is by changing their attitude. Dropping the fundamentalism would help. I get many emails from people who feel unsafe where they live in their Southern state. Not just gay people, in fact mainly str8 women who for one reason or another have had to go live there, usually following a husband, and they feel threatened because they are not fundies, not conservative, etc etc etc

Of course, not all Southerners are the same. Enough of them are though for the Religious Right to hold sway and , correct me if I am wrong, for most of them to still support, and carry out, the barbarity of legal murder.

I don't think it is too surprising that I and many others feel threatened
enough to not want to visit. if the impression we get is totally wrong, then someone ought to tell your TV and Film makers to stop portraying them as such, for the news to stop portraying them as such. Oh and change your President! Preferably NOT for McCain. He will do nothing to dispel any myths about the south.


ooops! Did I just upset the apple cart?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Love this comment - as one who lives technically "South" of the Mason-Dixon line in wonderful "Merlin" a/k/a "America in miniature" (but born in NY, raised all over the place and returned to NY for high school), I understand what you are saying. Many of us str8 and bi-focal people don't even realize we are still bigoted or still carry vestiges of our upbringing. For example, how is it that a same-sex couple holding hands is so offensive, but for a str8 couple it's "sweet?"
As for changing our Prez, hell yeah!
Thank you for being so gentle with your bigoted str8 friends. They mean well, I'm sure of it. We all have to grow. I had to. I still have to. Thank God - otherwise I'd have to rot and you know how much that can stink up a place:)!
Hugs,
Joan a/k/a fuguestateknits

Yarnhog said...

My oldest brother is a gay man who moved from San Francisco to rural Kentucky a few years ago. Shortly after he arrived, he wrote a hilarious description of life in Kentucky. I posted about it here:
http://yarnhog-yarnhog.blogspot.com/2007/05/things-ive-learned-about-kentucky.html

Anonymous said...

Well, my apple cart is quite upright. -laughing-

The south has come some distance, but has some distance to go, yet. Not only that, but there are some mighty bigoted areas in the Northern U.S. One example is Southwestern Pennsylvania. There a heavy fundamentalist Bible Belt there, too.

I don't know what the heck is wrong with people who seem to feel they are supposed to govern the world.

As fuguestateknits said, I, too, wonder why same sex couples holding hands causes such an uproar. Of course, it was this way (and sometimes still is) for mixed race couples not that long ago. Again, I know a lady in Pennsylvania who disowned her granddaughter because she fell in love with an African American man, married him and then, on top of *ALL THAT* had a baby with him. Idiots.

Anonymous said...

Having grown up in the South, and loving it still, I have to tell you that the bigotry and racism there is almost stifling. And you are right, your friends very likely don't even realize just how bigoted they are. Compared to many people in that region of this country, they may be flaming liberals; compared to someone from Europe, or one of the larger U.S. cities, they may appear to be extreme right-wing conservatives. That is changing, but very, very slowly. The damage done this entire country by our current president is helping to spread that change. There is even rumor here in the States that some folk down south might even vote for Obama.

One can but hope. And, of course, work in any way one can to promote that change.

Unknown said...

I don't disagree with you but please, times are a'changin' in the southern USA - just slowly. Your friends may be bigots regarding a generic group - but not bigots regarding an individual. I have found that to be a common attitude in recent years.

Consider that a large step forward from the times where anyone 'different' was an outcast or considered a threat and dealt with because of that.

We all have more to learn about each other and to teach others. I'm pleased by the way things have changed in the southern USA from having to have the husband deal with things because I was just patted on the head and told a man needed to take care of it to being able to take care of it myself.

A political change - oh yes!!! It is past time!!!

Hugs,
GailR (off to make sure I'm registered to vote in this southern town)

Anonymous said...

I simply stay out of the South. Nuff said.Stay away from the wheat, no matter how much you crave it. It will puff you up and go right to your joints.Some times I think I will just enjoy myself and suffer the pain,but of later it has been so bad the suffering greatly outweighs the pleasure.After 8 years I have finally learned to eat rice pasta,but there are things I dearly miss.

Anonymous said...

I am in the south. Was born here and will always remain here. Not everyone in the south shares the same opinion as the other commenters. Our news media love to stir up trouble and cause more racism and bigotry. They never show the good side of the south. Most of them are from the north and are doing the stories from the south that promote hatred and racism. We are not all bigoted or racist and most of us are downright, goodhearted, kind people.

Grannie said...

I was brought up in rural Quebec, Canada by a single mom who taught by example. Never, but never, did I ever hear her say one word against any race, religion, or live style choice.

As a result of this, I shudder with revulsion at people who distinguish one human from another by so-called moral judgments. I believe we are all God's creatures, humans, animals, insects, whatever, all with the right to a life of peace and compassion.

You, my boy, (I can say 'my boy' because I am SO much older than you), are an inspiration to us all and I am so grateful I found your blog (through Yahoo Group).

Marlene

Anonymous said...

After I commented this morning I have thought about it all day and the only thing I needed to really say is: "Seems to me that you people leaving the mzjority of the comments are the bigots. Are you not grouping all southerners in one catagory and
being bigoted and racist against them? Get to know some other southerners, like me for instance. I think you would be surprised."

Anonymous said...

Ah I see Colin , I have had the most offensive remarks made to me by a soldier in Iraq ( on You Tube) that he is a homophobe and proud of it . I don't think he can be helped at all as none of my reasoning with him got through. It then turned out he hated Polish people ( for no good reason) so arguing with a racist homophobe really made my day ( not). These people can feel no love , no compassion , no empathy . The kindest friend I have ever had is gay , he has helped me through my Mum's recent death as his died of the same thing. I am mystified why this attitude hangs on but if anyone has the courage to stand up and be counted and in a polite way it's you .