For Me

I realised yesterday when thinking about my blog that I have become conscious of the fact that it is read. This has led to me editing what I write or not writing at all. Well, this is my blog and I started it for me. It's my diary if you like. I am more than pleased that what I write resonates with others. However, it is still being written for me and I must bear that in mind next time I think I ought to edit myself!

Today, Mary is visiting with Jess for me to tell her if Jess is pregnant. She brought her Monday and I was fairly certain she was pregnant but told her to come back a few days later as by then what I was feeling will have grown if they were foetus. (Should that be foeti?)

Later today I am off to a hall near my flat (here in London) where I am to do a special demonstration this evening. Despite knowing this will not be different to any other demonstration I do, I am nervous. The dem has been advertised and hyped up. I'd rather it was just business as usual. I do not want prominence in any way. I want just to do a good job and reach out to those I can reach.

Shameless is not yet ready for mating. Which is handy really. It would have been more than awkward if she had been ready today or yesterday because of the travelling I must do. I am glad, btw, that I chose to use Yankee again and now because he is off to Norway soon!

I have dog shows coming up at the end of April, just when we get back from Belgium and then later on in May in Scotland. My show schedule will not be as busy as last year because there are judges this year I will not enter under and because of the likelihood of having puppies from Shameless. I am really looking forward to these puppies as I think the two will go very well together.

Yesterday, I took the Tramadol before I went for my swim. Wow! Now that really did help. The swim was easier. When I got home, just after 9am, I just had time to deal with the dogs, internet banking and emails before I was ready for bed again. I went to bed at 10.30am and got up at 12.15pm. I was then fine for the rest of the day until bed time. I took one other dose of Tramadol at 4.30pm.

Not only does this drug do what it says it will do but it lasts. I can take up to 8 a day-100mg 4 times, but have not had to take more than 100mg twice. I will take a dose before my demonstration this evening.

Oh and when John and I went to church last Sunday, the medium said to John that his mother, Jean, was here and that she was doing well and she loved him very much. I commented to John about how his mother had come thru so clearly, so soon, and twice now. He said that would be typical of her to be right up front like that. So even the way people come back to us to show that death is but an horizon we can't see over, fits in with their personality.

I would like to know if my father has passed over. To find this out, I would have to make a contact that I really do not to make. It has just brought more aggro and grief in the past. It is unlikely they will voluntarily contact me even though they know how to. They didn't tell me about my mother's death.