Monday, July 30, 2007

Grief

I have pondered about posting this and didn't know what to head it. Then it just came to me.

Grief.

Grief is a strange thing. It doesn't come and then go away. It comes and stays.

At first it overwhelms, completely covers, like a heavy overcoat. Slowly it disappears. Inside. Somewhere. Lurking.

There it stays forever.

Then one day, a little reminder, such a small thing that might even go unnoticed consciously, brings it out of lurkdom, it's warm but dark tentacles sliding over flesh , pressing down into the solar plexus till the only recourse is to curl into the womb and let it caress you till it's had it's fill and retreats back from where it came.

5 comments:

Gail R said...

I've found that profound grief (after loss of a child) will mellow after years (he'd be 33 now). It never goes away but, in my case, has mellowed to a periodic longing for what could have been. Before the last counseling I had, it was still fairly strong, but I discovered it was, in part, the fact I still blamed myself. Once I accepted that it was NOT my fault, the mellowing began.

I hope a similar peace of spirit for you.

Patricia said...

Oh, Colin. I always call it the blanket. You may cover it with a heavier quilt, but from time to time, the grief blanket will either peek out a bit, or be suddenly exposed totally when the quilt above is ripped away somehow.

I deal with it too daily on some level and I'll hang in there if you will ;)

Iris Moon said...

Colin, This comes at a particularly good time for me. We had little Gingerbread put down this morning. I noticed last night she was a little listless. By this morning, she was just curled up and wouldn't eat. I was able to hold her until she was gone. I didn't have that little kitty very long, but I do miss her. I knew you'd understand.

-Iris

FugueStateKnits said...

I'm there with you, Colin! My grief comes from the loss of a mother at 8 years followed by an abusive stepmonster, and currently the grief of knowing I can never be with the one I truly love.
It is like a coat, a coat of paint that colors all of you.
But it also can be healing. Feel what you feel.
Hugs again,
Joan

mr lhasa apso said...

I'm there with you, Colin! My grief comes from the loss of my daughter 2 months ago