Compassion?

It seems to me that it is easy to have compassion for those we love and like.

It is easy to have compassion for children and animals.

But is it really compassion that we feel? I don't know.

If we can not feel the same when see people of a different race being blown up as we do when we see our own, is it really compassion that we feel?

If we cannot feel compassion for those we do not like, is what we feel for those we do like compassion at all or something else?

I have grave doubts about some animal rights activists and pro lifers who are willing to kill and maim human beings in the name of compassion for animals and the foetus.

I do not think their feeling is compassion at all. I think that is a lie. I think they have a different agenda entirely. I think compassion is an entirely right reaction toward these people no matter how evil their actions are.

I get mixed feelings too. I find myself with blood boiling when I read of yet another abuser being caught. Yet at the same time, I feel a great sadness and compassion for them.

I generally don't say so out loud anymore. It angers people. They often say 'you wouldn't feel that if you were the victim'. Well, I was and I know others who were and they too feel compassion. It does not mean we want to let them off the hook or do not hold them responsible.

To me suffering is about lack of love, about fear, about hatred. I do not wish to add to these so why would I not react with compassion to evil doers? It doesn't mean I have less to give the victims.

Do not misunderstand.

I am ordinary and along with this compassion feeling I also feel huge anger and have entertained some very violent thoughts! I never pretend to be anything other than what I am - an ordinary human being with ordinary human failings. I recognize them, I don't pretend I don't have them. Yet at the same time, I know it is my responsibility to overcome these failings, not to let them rule me or anyone else.

Growth is not in denying that within us which is challenging but facing it and dealing with it as best we can.

Denying it's existence is dangerous.

I would have said a long time ago that I could not kill. That was before I understood what love for others is and how I feel when those I love are threatened. I knew in that instant that yes indeed I could kill. I imagine most parents understand what I am saying here.

I have no real conclusion on these thoughts. Suffice to say that i doubt the genuineness of compassion if it is not universal.

Which brings to mind Unconditional Love. If there is a God, or a Universal Power that loves, then love must be UNCONDITIONAL or it is worthless. It cannot be given according to one's behavior or one's belief. It must be given freely, with no ifs, ands or buts. None. Just Love freely given to all regardless. Anything less than that is human and therefore not God .

Pardon Me?

"Colin, I feel I need to "call" you on what you are doing. Time after
time you post these innocuous invitations to come see a picture related
to sock knitting, posted on your blog, but the paragraphs of political
diatribe one must wade through first belie your true intentions. You are
baiting the list, to get them to read your personal politics. The
picture we were invited to see is always way down on the page, after all
of your writing. This is nothing but dishonest.

I will no longer link to your blog, because I do not appreciate being
made a captive audience to your rants. "

I received this post when I got home from my SNU meeting last night. I had to read it a few times to make sure it was saying what it appears to say!

Now for this poor captive, I think this is a case for Maulder and Scully to investigate. After all, if you go and look at a sock picture but get held captive to political ranting, that really is a supernatural happening that warrants investigation as soon as possible. In the meantime, I hope those shackles are not too tight and you have access to food and water....

This email is a very good example of people reading what they want to read and not what is written. It is also a good example of a person acting out their angst and picking a target, even if there is no logic to it.

It could also be from a victim of abuse of a perpetrator of abuse, possibly both. Or maybe even someone of the fundamentalist persuasion. Whatever, reading my blog obviously pushes their buttons big time. I wonder if they thought of not reading it before now? How long did it take for this to fester before the penny dropped?

This email went to a public list with about 10000 subscribers. Not a good idea really, especially if one wants to give a good impression.

I know that there are many people out who are not into self examination. Such emails make this quite clear. If we took the time to examine our thoughts and feelings, we can often, tho not always(I know!), stop ourselves from acting the fool.

As for political ranting, where is that on my blog? I have mentioned neither of the big B's, the nor the big W, nor AQ, not given my thoughts on left or right or centre.

Mind you, perhaps that is an idea for future posts.....

Dolls

My, the voodoo dolls are out already after that last post.

I can feel the dpn in my right hip.

That's what Maulder reckons anyway.

Scully says it's the arthritis.

I play safe. I take the pills and hang garlic around my neck.....

IGNORANCE

Some very nice ladies I know on a knitting list have got rather miffed. These ladies are expert machine knitters. They joined another knitting list and were met with unfriendly attitudes to say the least.

Why?

Due to the fact they machine knitted and therefore were neither talented nor fit to be on the list they chose to join!

This attitude is still common. It is most unfortunate. It is an attitude based upon ignorance and intolerance. Not to mention immaturity. This attitude is rarely displayed by a machine knitter to a hand knitter, possibly because machine knitters are also hand knitters.

Hand Knitting and Machine Knitting are two DIFFERENT crafts.

One is not the slow version of the other.

To be done well, both require talent and skill.

Both require to be thought out in advance. Both need to be swatched for. Both need to be finished.

One can do by machine what cannot be done by hand. One can do by hand that which cannot be done my machine. One can even use both skills in the making of one garment.

For some the prejudice is as simple as 'using a machine' yet these same people would not hesitate to use a sewing machine and are not of the opinion that the great designers of clothing should be sitting there with a needle and thread making their Haute Couture clothing without a sewing machine in sight.

This prejudice is both ignorant and stupid. it makes the holder of the opinion look daft.

There are fantastic talents to be found in both crafts. Each ought to be admired and held up for us all to aspire too. Each can be learned from and each are already a source of education and inspiration to those of us who take our art seriously and who glean our muse from wherever we find it.

We ought not to be dismissing a craft with such disdain when we will be the ones who are detracted from as a result.

OPAL HUMMEL( BEE ) Colour 1613

Look here for how it ought to look. Bottom left corner. I am somewhat disappointed with this knitted out. It is nothing like the ball band shows it to be.

I am pleased with the fit of this sock. I have been experimenting with different widths and lengths and different types of heels. I have found that for me, the Sherman Heel,
my adaptation of it, is the easiest to knit and the most comfortable to wear. Most importantly it looks good and neat. No matter how easy this might have been, if it didn't look good, I wouldn't do it.
I do not decrease that much for the toe as mine are not crushed widthways so it seemed daft to decrease a lot.

I decreased from 76 sts down to 56sts. I use 2mm needles for the ribbing and 2.25 for the rest. 22 rs of rib 70 st st rows till heel, further 99 rows after heel till cast off.

PHEW!

Whooppee!!! My first normal poo in a week.

I am sure you wanted to know that....;-)

Lying In Front of The TV

Why do people fall asleep in front of the tv and deny it?

'Why don't you go to bed?'

'I'm watching this'

'But you have been snoring for the last half hour'

'No I have not, I was watching this'

'Thru closed eyes?'

'I was listening and resting my eyes'

Oh brother!

So leave them snoring and go to bed.

A little while later you hear:

'Why didn't you wake me?'

'Because you were really engrossed in that film....'

Such is life.

No Show/Wendy Jane

I didn't manage the dog show today. I decided last evening not to go even tho I had not been to the bathroom all day. Just as well cos I awoke in the early hours with stomach cramps and I was off again till about mid-day today when it has calmed down again.

Now a dog show is not the easiest of outings for the disabled anyway, as they are usually outside in fields. On top of that, the loos are normally quite a trek, even though they do provide disabled facilities. Still a long way away, but they do provide them.

Given the shortage of Pampers of adults and the liklihood of me needing to run fast at short notice over quite a distance, I thought it best to stay home.

I am reminded of a little tale for some reason.

When we first moved here, there was a small shop near the railway station named Wendy Jane's. I passed this shop whenever I went that direction, at least twice per week to pick John up from said station.

In the window of Wendy Jane's were always several models wearing nurses uniforms.

I thought to myself 'so this is where nurses get their uniforms' and thought nothing of it. After all, a small country town, I guessed there was no where else to go and why I had not seen a nurse supplies place in the big city.

Now i did notice that the models' shoes didn't seem appropriate for being on one's feet all day/ night but already knew that women wore shoes that were not the most sensible .....

Wendy Jane moved. Wendy Jane's windows got much bigger. Wendy Jane added more to her display-like stilletto boots, handcuffs, whips, and frilly lingerie....

Okay, okay, so I was dim.....

LEAVING COMMENTS

Quite a few people ask me questions thru the comments section. However, they do not leave me an email address or another way of contacting them to give an answer.

I really appreciate your comments and your questions and if I can answer them, I will. However, you need to leave your email address.

Do not write it out in the normal way but like this:

fred AT fred DOT com

This way it will not be picked up by spammers.

4 weeks and 3 days

Shilpa - my favourite at the moment.
Jade
Holly-2nd favourite.
Flynn
Harvey

Gansey

This is my own design, done using the Brother Garter Carriage. The yarn is 50% Merino, 25% Cashmere and 25% Silk, 2/15's used twofold. 375 m per 100gm the way I used it, 750m per 100gm as bought. I used tension 9*. The sweater was soaked in washing soda solution, hot water, the liquid spun out then soaked again in washing soda. Then rinsed in machine. Then it was machine washed and tumble dried on hot. Yes, it shrinks but not a lot. It is now machine washable with no further shrinking. Of course the shrinking was taken into account BEFORE knitting. The swatch received the same treatment before gauge was taken. This yarn, like most, would not shrink if just washed on a 30c delicate cycle. However, by treating it this way the handle is vastly improved, making a nice sweater feel wonderful. It really brings out the softness of the yarn. Oh and the reason for the wahsing soda-this yarn is spun in oil.

The Gory Details

On Saturday, we were out most of the day. Finally found a supermarket that sold real food and had choice of various cheeses and meats and condiments etc. Waitrose. Now when I know I am going out, I drink much less cos otherwise I need to pee all the time. I was tired when I got home as was normal. Later, my stomach started to grumble and I needed to go to the bathroom where I passed water from my bowell. I then felt fine and that was that. I went to sleep.

I awoke the next day feeling okay, just the arthritis hurting like hell. So I took the pills and had a coffee which I didn't finish. I didn't go to the bathroom which was unusual as I am regular as clockwork. I had to drive 100 miles away later that day to give a talk, so I drank very little. The talk went well and at 9pm I began to drive home. I felt very tired, the pain in my joints was bad, I couldn't move my neck much and I had a headache. I got home, ate a small meal, drank a glass of water and went to bed.

I awoke about 3am with stomach cramps. I was also violently shaking, or jerking all over is more apt. I got to the bathroom with great difficulty and passed a load more water. I could not stop jerking about. My teeth were chattering and I felt dreadful. I went back to bed and John woke up and just held me, thinking I was cold I suppose.

By 7.30 am I was not at all with it. I could barely move, was confused and my body really hurt. So a doctor was called. He wanted to hospitalize me. He said I was dehydrated. I refused the hospital but started to drink water. As soon as I did, I needed to go to the loo. This is how it has been until today.

(As an aside the Dr somewhat lacked in bedside manner. He kept asking how come I was so knackerd so young! He was obviously under the impression that arthritis is for old people only.)

The most frightening thing was how quickly I had become dehydrated and how ill and disorientated that had made me. Imagine if this had happened during the week when I am on my own.

This morning I feel much better. I have a dog show tomorrow and I am wondering whether or not I am fit to go. I shall see later. It is a 300 mile round trip. I really want to go but I have to wait and see how my tummy is I guess. I hate the idea of wasting the £25 entry fee and not seeing my friends.

You know there are some very good people to be met thru this medium and I appreciate that. There are some nice loons as well and then there are the sick nasties. Recently, there was a regretful discussion about alapca on a list. Speaking for only my posts at no time did I get personal with anyone, no personal attacks and no rudeness. I cannot say the same for some of those written by others. (oh and I to make sure I was not fooling myself, I re-read every post I sent on the subject in case it slipped me by!). Anyway, insiginificant you'd think, wouldn't you? Well a week later and I am still getting vile personal attacks anonymously about this subject. Seems like some people really don't like others to have an opinion that differs from theirs. One of the great things the net did for me was show me the sickness in others which I had not been aware of before.

One good thing about being able to speed read - you can scan a message and quickly know what sort it is and delete the mean spirited ones without reading it. It only takes a couple of key words and you know the type it is and trash it unread.

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO LEFT EMAILS AND COMMENTS ABOUT MY NOT BEING WELL. MUCH APPRECIATED.

Sick

I am sick, cna't manage thr relpies i owe for email ect. will be back to normal soon i hoep cos this aint fun

Meant To Be?

How many times have heard people say when something happens that it was 'Meant To Be' or that it was 'God's Will' really depending on what one's belief system is.

New Age or Religious, the thinking is the same. Magical .

Such sayings are like whistling in the dark, pretending we are not scared.

Now stop and think about it.

A child dies a painful death from cancer. What sort of God do you believe in that requires such a thing to happen? What belief system have you chosen that is so cruel?

The Holocaust, Rwanda, Kosovo. God's Will? Meant to be?

If you think so than I suggest a rethink is in order. What we believe makes all the difference to our lives and to the world we live in. Each of us creates our own world by how we think.

No I don't mean we can think up a grand house and it will magically appear! But we can think up a grand house and then put it on paper and then build it! All such things start as thought.

We each inhabit our worlds. Huh? How is that then?

Simply put, we all think and all of us have beliefs, even if we are unaware of it. We have experience and we all INTERPRET that experience. It is this creation of meaning that creates the individual worlds we inhabit. None of us sees the world in quite the same way as the next person.

Do you believe in God? How can you answer that without knowing what I mean by God?

Anyway, as usual I digress from the original point-God's Will or Meant To Be.

First off, no matter what anyone says, not one person on this planet knows what God is or what God's Will is. No matter how they dress, no matter what their 'position', no matter what their knowledge of 'sacred texts', they do not know. Do not believe the lie that they do.

And the same goes for New Age guru's. They don't know either.

The aim of both these types of people is to keep you in their thrall, to have control over you. To have riches hear on earth. Power and money.

I have come to understand that inside of me, I have what I need to stay standing no matter what life throws at me. I have come to understand that is a power greater than you and I that I can tap into. I can ask this power for help. I can sit still and meditate and allow this power to do it's work. It is really simple. It does not require that I believe any given thought system. It does not require that I believe any 'sacred texts'. It doesn't require that I be anything other than who I am.

This power can be felt, most often when one is in a group of people where that group is there for a common purpose-to heal. I.E. support groups!

I think we can get off track and bogged down by trying to understand what we will never understand-God, the Universe, why we are here, how we are here and where we are going.
These questions will not have an answer for us. At least not here and not now.

So once again getting back to God's Will and things being Meant To Be. We need to think this through.

If we believe in either of these two concepts(basically the same) we logically have to accept that when a child is abducted, raped and murdered that the perp was following God's Will, doing what was Meant To Be.

Now the concept of God's Will and Meant To Be doesn't feel quite so comforting does it?

The Law of Attraction, as being pushed right now by Oprah Winfrey and The Secret, tells us that things happen to us because we attract them to us by our thinking. So back to this abducted child. What did they think that allowed this to happen?

It all boils down to this one sick, damaging idea-that bad things only happen to bad people. It is OUR fault no matter happens. Powerlessness is frightening, really frightening. It is one of the reasons(and only one of them) that children who have been abused feel guilty. One of the paybacks of guilt in this situation is that we can hold onto the belief that we were in control. That we were not powerless. That we were not victims. I do believe this is one reason why 'victim' has become a dirty word and that it has been substituted with a lie - that we were not victims but survivors. It is partly true - as the best and most dangerous lies are.

Now this way of thinking does have it's payback, it's advantage. It gives us the illusion of having control! As long as we think this, we can whistle in the dark and not be afraid. We can tell ourselves, I am a good person so nothing bad will happen to me. We can live with this lie, this fantasy and we might even live our whole lives with it. More often than not though, we are floored along the line because something bad does happen to us or those we love and we are then plummeted into Hell because our belief system, which we created to allay our fears, tells us it was our fault because we must have been bad after all.

In a way we are putting 'other God's Before Me'. We are following guru's, priests, preachers, our own ego and pride and above all FEAR. We worship and glorify fear. And fear is not love. It is the opposite.

Another very damaging idea that we may hold is that another will pay for our 'sins'. This is so clearly not true. If this was so then all of those people who believe that all their sins have been 'paid for' will cease to suffer! Nothing bad will ever happen to them. They will be able to flout the LAWS.

Let me explain. I see sin as error, mistakes. Now if we break a law, even by mistake, the consequences of that will occur. No matter what. It won't matter what you believe. You will suffer the consequence of breaking that law. For example, you stick your hand in the fire. Your hand will burn. It really won't matter what you think. It will burn. You can believe that someone else paid for your sins all you like, your hand will burn.

So all your thoughts of fear, envy, sadness, guilt, shame, anger, pride,-all your experience of any sort of emotional suffering will cease because someone else has paid for your mistakes.

So obviously untrue.

The only person who pays for our mistakes is ourselves. We are each personally responsible. We are rewarded or not by our own thoughts and actions. We are not punished FOR our sins but BY them! Quickly, a woman I knew was suffering badly.She was very sad and depressed. The reason for this, according to her, was her daughter's terrible treatment of her. How awful, you think, naturally. Until you know this: her daughter refused to leave her husband and her children and 'come home' which is what the mother and the rest of the family wanted. Why? The daughter was a wicked woman. She had married a person of a different race, was not the same religion, and had children by him. How wicked!

So you can see how this woman, the mother, was being punished by her own sin. Her suffering would only cease when she realised her mistake and made restitution as far as was possible. However, as far as this woman was concerned her daughter was the wicked one so her suffering would continue.

And then there is the suffering that we can do nothing with but bear the best we can. We have physical bodies. They deteriorate. They dies. they cause pain. This is not our fault. This is the way it is. We can deal with it because we have to. We do not accept the blame for it. That won't help. We don't blame others, or God or fate. It just is and that power that is grater than ourselves can and will help us deal with whatever life throws at us.

JUST BECAUSE WE CAN TURN GREAT SUFFERING TO OUR ADVANTAGE, JUST BECAUSE WE CAN LEARN FROM AND BECOME MORE THAN WE WERE BEFORE, DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE SUFFERING WAS MEANT TO BE. IT MEANS THAT WE FOLLOWED OUR INNER SPIRIT AND MADE GOOD FROM BAD. THAT IS OUR POWER.

Thank You

We went out doing domestic stuff this afternoon. The sun shone and I felt better, remembered to pop my pills so nothing hurt that much.

But I had a nagging feeling in my gut telling I should not have posted my last post(meritocracy). I tend to keep those fthougths to myself! It is really quite easy to write too much on a blog and feel exposed.

Anyhow, I got home and was pleasantly surprised, actually releived and moved by the kind comments you have left.

So thank you. I really appreciate the thought and effort you put in.

Meritocracy

I have been very conscious recently of the fact that I am close to 50 years old.

On the one hand, I am amazed to be here and am very aware that I am lucky and many people do not get here.

On the other hand, I can't look at my life and feel like I have achieved anything or been successful at anything.

On a personal level, I have conquered anorexia, bulimia, drink and drug addiction, smoking, OCD, bi polar disorder and changed myself profoundly, managing to undo much of the damage done to my psych/soul by the abuse I suffered. On that level, I have succeeded. I am not the easist of people to like or to love, that is clear, yet I am loved. I have been in a committted partnership for 26 years.

I have not succeeded at anything else. I have never earned my own living. I have never 'shone' at anything. I am adequate at a few things. I enjoy things and am passionate about them but that is personal and doesn't reach out beyond. I am adequate at my knitting but am no Kaffe or Alice or Debbie. I am not good enough to have made my mark there. I enjoy my dogs but have only in the last few years been able to go where I want with that and given my age, my disability, am not likely to get where I planned.

On a society level, I am invisible, worthless. I do not contribute anything. Meritocracies do not value people such as me. They only value those that can contribute. And even then it doesn' value the 'lowly' like street cleaners, teachers, nurses etc. You may be surprised at the last two but it is clear to me they are not valued-look at their pay!

We are told that we live in lands of opportunity. Yes we do - as long as you are inteligent, physically and emotionally healthy and do not have any disabilites.

I am aware of my luck-how I can pretty much please myself on daily basis. How I am no longer homeless. How I am no longer living in torment. How I more than survive now. How good my life is when i compare it to the lot of others.

It would have been nice to have achieved something. I know it may sound odd, but all of the people I know well are older than me by quite a bit. Assuming I am old when I die, there will be no one to say goodbye. And no one to remember that I was here.

Gosh, I never would have thought I'd ever think those thoughts. Mind you I never would have thought I would ever be this age either.

If life is only to be enjoyed, then I do that - mostly....

huh 2

I ought to have ignored the posts telling me how wrong I was re the alpaca. Of course the posters themselves did nothing wrong, they can't see anything wrong at all in what they wrote or their choice of words

I think it somewhat unrealistic to tell someone that their experience is wrong / mistaken and at the same time expect that they will just roll over and say 'of course, madam, I was wrong'. It really doesn't occur to them at all that their words did of course imply that either was deluded or lying. But they choose not see that.

I made the mistake, one I have avoided for ages, of getting into a discussion about it. I will remember not to in future cos it makes me look stupid and feel bad.

IF I choose to offer up any information in future to a request for it, I shall have to remember to ignore those that will knock it down, or remember to do it privately.

Oh Dear

I really must remember on bad pain days to keep out of email discussions..........

Ms Anonymous

If you think you have something of value to say have the courage to do so without being anonymous. Only a coward does that.

Before you condemn someone, look to yourself.

Huh?

In response to an query on a knitting list, I replied that Alpaca does not shrink in the wash nor in tumble dryer. That is my experience of a 25 year plus knitwear designing / knitting career. Of different brands of Alpaca.

As a result of this, I am told I don't know yarn(your alpaca can't be pure) or that I am lying, though not so bluntly. Why would I lie? I have been patronized and insulted by the back door.

I wonder if this is because some people can't get their head around a man knowing what he is doing in this field? Over the years, I have noticed that female knitters / designers are fawned over. Males get knocked. (Kaffe and Brandon excepted.) How really rather pathetic. I have no wish to be fawned over but I have no wish to be patronized, told I don't know my craft or have it implied that I am a liar.

edit: in answer to questions...the only alpaca I have had that shrinks easily is a wool alpaca mix. None of the pure 100% alpaca has shrunk upon machine washing and tumble drying.

edit number 2: okay so now i am told that this guy's alpaca shrunk when he washed in the machine. He wondered why. it wasn't 100% alpaca, his was 80/20 with wool. Duh! Others are still banging on and on about this. Insisting that they are right and alpaca felts. I didn't at any point say Alpaca did not felt. I said if you machine wash it on a wool cycle and tumble dry it on hot it will not shrink. I was sent a link that showed you how to felt alpaca as proof that it felted. I'd f***ing felt too if you did that to me!
It seems to me these people are being deliberately obtuse. Or they really are thick which I sincerely doubt. They don't seem to realise that 1. this only refers to 100% alpaca fibre and 2. only to normal sweater washing in the machine, not deliberate felting techniques.

5 weeks

It is five weeks today since I had a fag. 5 whole weeks after 33 years of smoking. No aids, no chews, no patches. Just no fags. Cold turkey. (Now where did that saying come from?)

I can hardly beleive it. I want to explain how I got here but i won't until I am sure I am here, if you know what I mean.

A Day At A Time ( or less)

For the first time, I allowed this pain to get to me yesterday. Not one part of me doesn't hurt. All my joints, my groin, my hands, my legs, my hips, my chest. A constant nagging aching sometimes burning pain.

It isn't severe. When it is severe and I can hardly walk I can cope. I take pills, I rest a lot and I know it will pass.

However, this pain does not pass. It hasn't in years. It is there always. Pills don't releive it. It slows me down. It annoys me. Mostly I can and do distract myself-hence all the knitting and dog grooming!

Last night, though, I allowed my thinking to wander way past my usual limit. I started to think about the future. That scared me. I do not think ahead. I learned very quickly when I realised this deisease was here to stay and so was the pain, that I would have to really keep my thinking to within short spans. Why? Because the idea that I might have another 40 years of 24/7 pain is not a happy idea. It is quite horrifying. So I don't think about it.

I remain grateful for the life I have. I do everything I can and want to do, no matter how I am feeling. Dog shows, knitting, grooming -I do what I want to do and do not let my body dictate to me. Okay, I am not totally stupid and do make concessions-like the wheelchair and my sticks. Well, without my sticks I'd fall over anyway!

I still think this pain is so much easier to deal with than the emotional torment I lived with all those years.

I take co-codomol and diclofenac or ibrprofen and codiene on its' own. I only take these when I really really need to and for dog shows. I also have tramadol but to be frank have never taken them as I am scared to do so. They are a more heavy duty pain killer.

I don't really know where I was going with this post. Perhaps I was hoping for some insight to come. Maybe just having a moan will help.

Trekking Sock and John in Sweater!

The yarn is Trekking (XXL) colour 100, 75% New Wool and 25% Nylon. I like this yarn. It is softer than any Opal yarn I have used. I knit it on 2mm for ribbing and 2.25mm for rest. One long circular needle.

This is my best fitting sock so far. I knit it over 80sts. I did a 40 row heel flap, picking up 21 sts either side when it came to the gusset. I also only decreased to 58 for the toe which suits my uncrushed toes better.

For added interest, I purled every 10th row to make the garter ridge.(i.e row 10, row 20, row 30 etc)I really like this heel. Very easy to do neatly. I knit the first 4 sts on either side of flap in garter stitch. I also knit a German 'strap' heel. Now until I knit this I had assumed it was a really different heel. It isn't. It is knitted exactly the same way as a Dutch 'square' heel! Just over a different set of numbers. The result is the same in look but a better fitting heel for me.
John modelling sweater. Variation of the blue one shown on earlier date. Again the yarn is 2 x 2/15's 50% merino, 25% cashmere and 25% silk. Garter rib done using the garter carriage on a Brother 940.
Close up of neck. One of them could be neater.....

Sausages!

Three weeks old today. I rushed to get my camera when I saw them sleeping like this and prayed they would not move until I got the picture. They moved within seconds of me getting the shot.

Bang Goes Prague

John is just about to arrive home from Prague where he was sent to without warning on Friday.

We were driving to Prague last May but at the last minute I decided we would go to Munich instead.

Anyway, John has now seen Prague.

It is a beautiful city but it is out of the question for me to visit.

No disabled facilities.

Metro inaccesible. Streets steep and cobbled with small cobbles so would make even walking with my sticks and plenty of pain killers dangerous. On top of that, loads and loads and loads of people!

I am disappointed as I really would have liked to see this city.

I am thinking of Tallin in Estonia now......

WELKS 2007 28th April

Beautiful day, beautiful setting.
Linda and Luka in the ring.
Luka-he won his class.
Luka by the head.
Micah, my boy. Not his day.
Merlin, Carolyne's dog. Not his day.
Me caught in the act.
My friend Carolyne caught unaware.
My friend Linda and her boy Luka.
It was a beautiful setting, in the Malvern Hills.

Who Is The Idiot?

There is a story doing the rounds now about Japanese people sold sheep they think are Poodles. Supposedly, they don't know their dog is a sheep until they take it to be clipped or to the vet.

Funny, yes?

It might be if it wasn't so blatently racist!

Just who is the idiot here? I would suggest it is those that read this story and think it is true. Those that a think a highly successful, inventive and technoligcal people are so thick they do not know the difference between a sheep and a dog.

Oh, but i forgot, these people talk funny, look funny and have a funny coloured skin therefore they must be retarted. Most of all they are not us so...it must be true, musn't it?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

A man was sentenced to prison today(only 2.5yrs) for abusing boys in the church choir back in the 80's.

The Church of England, for whom he worked, knew he had been abusing boys and they 'hid' him, supposedly away from children, and did not report him to the police.

He was only reported when one of the boys he abused went a residential course to find this man worked there-with children!

Mind you, the parents of the one boy who reproted it to the Church in first place also hold blame for not having gone to the police.

The C of E and RC Church are both very well known enablers of child abusers.

Disgusting. no excuse for it at all. A Spokesman for the C of E , a priest, said on the news that 'we did what was considered right for the time'. This was in 1990 not 1890!!! He really ought to be ashamed of himself and how dare he call himself a man of God when he can lie to us and to himself like that?

Simply Knitting

I wrote to Simply Knitting because they leave a vital piece of information out of their patterns-the yarn fibre content. The response I got just shows a lack of understanding of our craft, imo.

Hi Colin

Thank you for your email. Currently we do not list the fibre content on every pattern as this can be impractical in terms of space, especially when lots of different yarns are used. However, this is something we will certainly look at in the future.

Best wishes
Debora

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

I have just been trawling thru some knitting blogs. I came across one which made me want to slap the person silly!

Why o why o why would anyone spend their precious time knitting a garment to then just cobble it together?

Finishing and sewing are a vital part of knitting. If you don't like it, then don't bloody knit! ( Or only knit stuff that doesn't need sewing.)

This garment I saw was striped. Not teeny tiny stripes but HUGE ones, in fact the whole thing only had three large stripes.

One picture showed the side seam. The seam was dreadful. Not str8 and the stripes did not match up.

I have seen this in magazines too. It really lets us knitters down and no wonder hand knitting has such a 'homemade' down class reputation.

If you are going to knit, then take your time to sew it up and finish it properly. If you don't know how to, LEARN.

If you can't be bothered, then find another hobby where you can be lazy and not think much of it.

It seems to me this might well reflect what is going on inside the person.

It does not take talent to sew up a garment properly. It just takes time and a desire to complete the job well. You do not have to be a trained tailor to do it!

Edit: 2.46pm

Comment left: 'I think "all" of the statements you make says MUCH about you and only you.'

by a person who didn't leave any identifier-ie no blog or email addy. In other words an anonymous sniper.

Yes, 'sharon' it does say much about me.

It says I believe that if a job is worth doing it is worth doing well.

It says I believe that learning and effort are well rewarded.

It says I have no time for deliberate incompetence or carelessness.

It says I care about our craft.

It says I think our craft is WORTH the effort.

It also says I have the courage to write what I think without hiding my identity.

It says that I believe in people and that knitting can be completed well by anyone who wishes to learn and put in the effort.

It says I believe that people DO have what it takes.

I says I believe that people have the ability.

You're Terrible, Muriel

Okay, so i was out this evening and I was listening intently to a very sad tale form this man who was in a really bad space. He had tried to kill himself last night. I was moved by his story as were the others present.

Then he said, by way of explanation as to why he was still with us:

'I was sitting on the edge of the bridge and these two policemen came and pulled me off.....'

I know, I know but it took a lot on my part to not laugh.

(And if you haven't seen the film, you won't get the title of this post.)

John's X-Ray

John's X-Ray came back normal. So it seems he just has asthma. That's bad enough but it could have been worse.

I called this morning and they told me. They treat John and I as a couple and will give either of us information about the other. It is me who makes sure we have our drugs, makes the appointments and even tells the Dr what is wrong with John as he tends to leave the important things -like he can't breathe- out.

I had deep reservations about signing on with this practice as all the doctors are Christian. It is a Christian practice. However, it seems they truly are Christian and are not the rabid bigoted fundy kind.

Elizabeth, my doctor and Stuart, John's doctor, are both excellent. They treat us like people and intelligent people at that. They explain everything. If we are both at home and one of has an appointment, we both go and are welcomed. No telling us we can't go in together.

This last few years is the first time John has ever been to a doctor. However, for me, I have been loads of times throughout my life. Elizabeth is the first one I have had who has taken me seriously. She treats me with respect and doesn't make the assumption that all previous doctors have - that because I have had mental health problems in the past, all my complaints stem from that. It was Elizabeth who took my chest complaint seriously and I was diagnosed with angina whilst my previous Doctor told me it was panic attacks. It was Elizabeth who noticed I had neurological problems and also realised I had Osteo Arthritis. It was Stuart who realised I had fibromyalgia. Both sent me to see the relevant specialists, heart surgeon, neurologist and rheumatologist.

It is a relief to have such a doctor. I no longer worry about my health. I know Elizabeth will take me seriously and deal with it. Oh and it was she who first realised that lack of light is what was causing my depressions because she studied my health records and noticed that all my hospitalizations and depression periods were in winter!

Breaking Down?

I had to telephone a call centre early this morning to cancel an insurance call out to fix my fridge.

Well for some unknown reason my fridge was working again last night so no point the engineer coming.

So this is how the phone call went:

I dialled the number. Pressed the right numbers and waited. And waited.

A woman answers. She asks for my details. I give them.

'Pardon? ' she says.

I repeat what i said.

'Could you speak up, sir?' she says

I repeat loudly.

'I got that. ' she says. 'It must be a bad line.'

At that moment, I realised her voice sounded distant too. I looked for my remote for the tv to switch it off. As I was looking I saw my phone lying on the couch about 18 inches away from me.

I found the tv remote in my left hand against my ear.....

Why oh Why?

On Thursday evening, my BB connection went from 2mbs to 16kbps!!!

I called BT (British Telecom). I am connected to Technical Support, somewhere in India. I spent a good deal of time repeating myself. I spent a good deal of time asking for them to speak slowly and repeat what they had said.

The person on the end of the phone wanted to 'take over' my pc to 'fix' my PC! Now at 16kbps this wasn't possible, I said. I said it again. And again. And again.

The following morning I got put thru to a UK man who told me that my house telephone wiring must be old and had disintegrated and therefore my BB connection was bad. Strange that I could talk on my phone....

Anyway, he said he would send me a new router.

Later the same day, the tech support called me...from India. After a few minutes of 'pardon?' (I am so very very sorry for you. Thank you for choosing BT Broadband.(from the TS person). Now I didn't choose them. There is no one else where i live. If I could could have chosen I would not have chosen BT. I detest them.

I digress, so this person tells me that they will send someone to my exchange and see what the problem is. Weird I thought.

Later I get a call telling me there is no problem with the exchange. Would I take my PC and plug it into the socket in the kitchen? (Bear in mind this is what I deciphered after many minutes).

No I said, I cannot do that.

We can't help you if you don't, was the reply.

I informed them that it was physically impossible for me to do this.

I am very sorry to hear that, sir. Now will you plug your PC into the socket downstairs?

NO I F*****g can't!!!

Alright, I didn't say that but...

Oh I am very very very very very sorry sir, thank you for choosing BT BB. Now take your PC and plug it in downstairs.

By this time I want to shove my PC up his ****.

No, I cannot physically do that. I am disabled.

Oh, sir, I am very sorry to hear that. Thank you for choosing BT BB. Please plug your PC into the socket downstairs in the kitchen, sir. The extension in your upstairs doesn't work.

Huh?

I give up.

Now we are into Saturday. I am out for the day to Hereford and Stratford Upon Avon(Yes where that playwright lived a long time ago).

I get a phone call on my mobile.

Hello?

I am very very sorry sir, thank you for calling BT BB.

I didn't call BT BB.

Oh I am very very sorry for you sir, thank you for choosing BT BB. We have the engineer and he says your line is no problem sir. I am very very sorry sir.

Do remember that the above is only what I translate after 5 hours of listening....

I get home and there are 3 messages on my answering service from....yes...you guessed it...BT tech support in India. And no, I can in no way decipher what was said.

Sunday-after the same nonsense, I go and buy a 20m long extension socket and plug my modem into that. No deal.

On Monday, tech support from India call me several times more.

I tell them that my new router has not arrived yet. That no I still have a very very very slow connection. Nothing is fixed.

I am very very sorry to hear that, sir. Thank you for calling BT BB.

My new router arrives at about 4.30pm. With dread in my heart, I decide to install it. Before I do so, I see what my modem is doing and lo and behold it is back to normal!

So nothing was done my end at all. Nothing was wrong with my PC. Nothing was wrong with my extension, I wasted money on the 20m long cord. Yet I am happy to be back online. I install the new router and.....it is fine!

This morning I get a call from tech support in India.

Good morning, sir, and how are you today sir.

About ready to commit a henious crime is how I feel but i say:

I am fine thank you. My problem is fixed. My connection is back to normal.

'I am very very very very sorry for you, sir. Thank you for choosing BT Total Broadband .'

And then......I called Amazon. I have just tried to place a LARGE order.

'I have just made a large order but your system is telling me I don't have an account.'

A voice from deepest South America says to me in very heavy Latin accent.....

'You don't have an account with Amazon. Would you like one?' (I am paraphrasing cos it would take just too long)

'I DO have an account with you. I rent DVD's from you and buy stuff. In fact I have 2 dvd's here that belong to you. I have an account. I pay money to you every month'.

'No sir, you do not have an account with us'.

'I just told you, I DO have account with you.'

'What is your name and email?'

30 minutes later, after repeating and spelling and repeating again,'You do not have an account with us sir. The computer says no'.

No I did not call him account. I just curled up into a ball and sucked my thumb...

No, actually this person hung up on me!

I then got an email telling me my order will be delivered tomorrow.....

I think it shows a gross lack of respect to both the employees and the customers that companies are doing this. The employees must get fruistrated because they are doing their best. The customers are trapped because there is no one else to deal with and if you do say you cannot understand to anyone, you run the risk of being labelled a racist. I did call today to speak to customer services to lodge a complaint about my 4 day runaround. I got put thru to...yes you guessed right.