BECOMING DEPENDENT - DEALING WITH FORCED CHANGE

I am certainly no angel. People often say to meal how brave I am and whilst I appreciate that they are being kind something which I really do appreciate, it isn't really true.

For one thing I do get very down about the limitations my disease puts upon me or I get very angry and break things and shout, scream and swear.  For short periods I even find myself feeling that I have been unfairly given to much on my plate.

I am not going to go over yet again my rotten childhood. Most of you reading all about it and those that don't will search it out if they are that interested.

What has been bugging me a lot recently has been my loss of independence. I can still drive and I drive very well. I can also still knit and I still knit well.  However, I can barely walk and I need John to help me dress. If we are not going out anywhere together then I stay in my lounge clothing which is bright and cheerful at least.

With the use of aids  lot I can take care of myself when it comes to the bathroom and showering I hope that I will always at least keep that part of my dignity.

 I adore music and watching films and TV series.  When John is in London on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday that is all that I do  apart from feed the dogs and play with them and talk with them.

I certainly would like to go back to travelling next year. I realise that we will not be able to do the long distance thousand mile destinations. I have had many friends who have left me to get on with it.  whilst it was painful I am more circumspect in my choices now