It seems to me that it is easy to have compassion for those we love and like.
It is easy to have compassion for children and animals.
But is it really compassion that we feel? I don't know.
If we can not feel the same when see people of a different race being blown up as we do when we see our own, is it really compassion that we feel?
If we cannot feel compassion for those we do not like, is what we feel for those we do like compassion at all or something else?
I have grave doubts about some animal rights activists and pro lifers who are willing to kill and maim human beings in the name of compassion for animals and the foetus.
I do not think their feeling is compassion at all. I think that is a lie. I think they have a different agenda entirely. I think compassion is an entirely right reaction toward these people no matter how evil their actions are.
I get mixed feelings too. I find myself with blood boiling when I read of yet another abuser being caught. Yet at the same time, I feel a great sadness and compassion for them.
I generally don't say so out loud anymore. It angers people. They often say 'you wouldn't feel that if you were the victim'. Well, I was and I know others who were and they too feel compassion. It does not mean we want to let them off the hook or do not hold them responsible.
To me suffering is about lack of love, about fear, about hatred. I do not wish to add to these so why would I not react with compassion to evil doers? It doesn't mean I have less to give the victims.
Do not misunderstand.
I am ordinary and along with this compassion feeling I also feel huge anger and have entertained some very violent thoughts! I never pretend to be anything other than what I am - an ordinary human being with ordinary human failings. I recognize them, I don't pretend I don't have them. Yet at the same time, I know it is my responsibility to overcome these failings, not to let them rule me or anyone else.
Growth is not in denying that within us which is challenging but facing it and dealing with it as best we can.
Denying it's existence is dangerous.
I would have said a long time ago that I could not kill. That was before I understood what love for others is and how I feel when those I love are threatened. I knew in that instant that yes indeed I could kill. I imagine most parents understand what I am saying here.
I have no real conclusion on these thoughts. Suffice to say that i doubt the genuineness of compassion if it is not universal.
Which brings to mind Unconditional Love. If there is a God, or a Universal Power that loves, then love must be UNCONDITIONAL or it is worthless. It cannot be given according to one's behavior or one's belief. It must be given freely, with no ifs, ands or buts. None. Just Love freely given to all regardless. Anything less than that is human and therefore not God .
Another long stretch, but hoping to be more regular
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5 comments:
Colin I am so glad you can have compassion for those who hurt children in any way....I wish for my part I could find that same compassion and forgiveness, but coming from a family of sexual, physical and mental abuse I find it very hard to have compassion or forgive the person or persons responsible for the abuse I suffered as a child....Makes me literally sick to my stomach to see news reports of a parent leaving a child in a car or home alone...So many things can go wrong....And for all of the sick so called humans in this world who sexually abuse children and adults alike, all I can think of mutilation of their sexual organs, torture and death.....I know this is a very wrong attitude, but one I can not seem to get past....Hats off to you for feeling differently....Abuse is a very hard thing to live through and with in life....Seems you have done very well with your own mental health in this matter....
I applaud you for your attempt to help those who have trouble helping themselves and find your posts very thoughtful in those areas....Keep posting and happy knitting....
Hi Colin,
Thanks for your comment on my blog. Yep the weather is indeed horrible and germany is great. I've discovered some new small wools suppliers and dyers here. its great. If you want the links then give me a shout and I'll send them through.
Wow, today's challenge!
I've got to tell you, I used to work with a man who had done 13 years in prison for child molestation. He told me so himself because I had been thinking of bringing my daughter (then 15) in as a temp in the warehouse. She would have been working solely with him. Needless to say, I didn't have her come in after that, but I was left wrestling with a HUGE dilemma. In the end, I guess I came to some sort of compassion towards the man. He worked for a temp agency and was not supposed to discuss his past with his employers. He laid his pitiful little job on the line because I guess he had enough respect for me, personally, to want to protect my child and me. If I had chosen to reveal what he told me to my supervisor, he would have been fired on the spot.
There were some conversations later in our time working together that made me VERY uncomfortable. When he told me things like, "the only thing that stops me from doing it again is that I don't want to go back to prison." And, "just because I don't do it doesn't mean I don't want to. I'm attracted to boys and girls of a certain age, and I live with it every day of my life." And always, always, "but I won't act because I don't want to go back to prison." My flesh crawled, let me tell you!
Yet in spite of all that, there was good in him, and I felt compelled to make myself see it.
He was an excellent worker, pushing himself above and beyond the call of duty time after time for not much more than minimum wage. (Sublimating sexual enegery and tension, perhaps?)
He often brought in food he'd made the night before and shared it with me, and he was a damn fine cook, too.
Sometimes his wife came in and worked with us towards the end of my time in that warehouse. I became fond of them both in an odd sort of way, and I still hold them both in my prayers. I hope for both the fella's sake and that of any potential victim that he will stay on the right path.
The last time I saw him, he and his wife had come in to the company I work for now, to do some demolition and clean-up work. And I was glad to see them, and there were hugs all around. I wouldn't be sorry to run into him in a work situation again, because if he's out in the work force doing a job, then it means he is still resisting temptation. I hope that continues, again, for the sake of potential victims and himself.
None of my good feelings towards this person means I am not disgusted or angered by what he did to end up in prison. (I don't know the details, and I don't want to know, though I don't think it would have taken much effort to get him to confess it.)
Deep down in my heart, I know the conflict I still feel about this man will never be resolved.
Paula
The problem for me is trying to establish why child abusers are judged so differently from other abusive people.
I have heard it said by people who are supposed to know that Pedophiles are incurable. Is that something we want to believe? Is anyone really incurable.
Gillian
If I had the urge to sexually abuse children, I'd WANT to be castrated! That's the bottom line!
Joan
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