Thursday, July 07, 2011

SHOULD I?

7 comments:

Unknown said...

YES!! Go and visit Australia. This will bring you closure.

When you visit you will realise that the nightmare is over. You will be free of the chains that are you holding you back.

As to the time spent there at least 2 weeks if not a month. John should be with you when you go. So wait until he's retired.

quelyn

Anonymous said...

No, I don't think you should... You talk about how happy you are with John so why make yourself unhappy by visiting there, you have survived and have a much better life now... Why give these people (if they are still living) another shot at you, you have already won, you are a much better person than thy will ever be... LynnA

Iris said...

Personally, I don't think you should go. Every time you allow yourself to be pulled back, you regret it. If you do decide to go, make sure you DO take John with you. Remember how hard you've fought to reach where you've arrived.

Linda said...

I think you should give it some time and if you still feel you should go, then go with John. It seems as though you have faced your demons but here is another thing to consider and I base this on what happened to a friend. She went "home" after a long time of remembering only the bad and began recovering a lot of good memories. Now, my friend is not the kind of person who blames herself for anything so these memories were a good thing for her. You have finally made peace with the fact that the abuse/neglect you experienced was not your fault. Can you risk remembering softer moments with these people without regressing and blaming yourself? I would consider that very carefully before going back.

PS Congrats on 30 years with John!

anachronist said...

Happy Aniversary,
30 Years is just great, and I hope you will have many, many more to celebrate.

Will write you a more detailed mail (new email addy, so you might want to look at the spam folder, too so it does not get lost), but here now I will say, consider going, but... prepare yourself very good for the trip and have your safety net with you (John and maybe a diary or such thing to write down/video emotional things when they pop up).
They will pop up and it is safe to come prepared.

marilyn said...

Hi Colin, I feel that it would be inappropriate for me to advise you to go or not to go.
That is a decision that only you can make, and you don't have to make that decision today.
In the past I have made big decisions impulsively (as is my wont) and have lived to rue the day that I did.
It's obvious that at the moment you feel a very strong pull towards the land of your birth, and I understand that.
However, I feel that these feelings can come from more than one source.
Whilst visiting at least four places abroad over the years I have felt such an attachment to these places (physically,mentally, emotionally, and above all spiritually) that it was very, very hard to leave, and indeed on two occasions I cried for quite some time after having to leave.
I believe that I had lived in these places before in another life.
Perhaps you may find some guidance during your meditation?xx

FugueStateKnits said...

Dear Colin - what does your heart tell you? What does your gut tell you? Only you can make this decision. All the other comments have outlined the plusses and minuses. There's also the plus that you might be able to visit with some of the people you've met online.
Only advice I can think of is to take care of your Self:)!
Love you sweetie,
Joan