Monday, March 20, 2006

Mail

I get loads of mail every day. You know the type that begins with an S and ends in an M. No matter how I filter it still comes.

It wouldn't be so bad except they seem to think that:

1. I live in the USA
2. Have huge debts
3. Have a small penis
4. Am impotent
5. Like lesbian porn
6. Take lots of drugs
7. Want a mortgage.
8. And seem to think I am old.
9. And think I will be stupid enough to hand over my bank details to the widow of some African Dignitary who died tragically.
10. Call me Beloved In Christ and then go on to try and rip me off(well they would wouldn't they?)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Colin... this is irresisitible. I cannot stop laughing.
But you forgot that you cannot live any longer without a fake Rolex.
Hélène

Sharon J said...

Not only do they think I have a small penis, they seem to think my small penis refuses to perform. Hmmm... penis? I believe it is rather small, yes! ~Sharon

Holly @Home said...

Ah Sharon ..Mum too ! Her favourites were those purporting to be E:Bay asking to confirm her account details ..she pays by cheque.It all reminds me of a post idea I think you had Colin to send it back ..if only that was possible.

Cherry Rolfe said...

Most of my spams involve unspeakable acts with hot things - I always wear oven gloves so have not replied!

Suzi Jarboe said...

Colin I just Love your sense of humor. My Mum is from Saint Helens so I love reading your blogs. Reminds me of home. So if you don't mind me asking, what is your disability. Suzi J

colin said...

Hi Suzi - I have osteo arthritis of the spine, angina, a funtional disorder of the central nervous system and fibromyalgia.
That is enough to be going with I think. I shall not be collecting like I do my yarn.