Sunday, April 26, 2009

NOT BEING THERE

The more I think about yesterday, the more annoyed I am, or disappointed, that I wasn't 'present' to enjoy it. Even my memory of it is from outside of it, not from the inside. This is so like the way I recall my past. I remember most things from outside. I just don't get why it is the same for this momentous thing in my life, the thing I have waited 38 years for. It happens and I disassociate. Damn. I would so rather have felt it and experienced it there and then. Not just be told about it afterwards.
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