Sunday, May 17, 2009

BEGGING FOR RIGHTS

Yesterday I went to The Guild of Machine Knitters day held in town. I had a good time. I met 'net' people that I know, Jane, Alison and Ann. Seeing the garments people had made got my juices flowing so I have been thinking of things I might try on the machines.

I would have liked to have stayed and seen Bill King and his designs but I was having a bad day pain wise. Even though I was in Daniel, the pain was bad. I get this awful cramping down my legs when I sit for any length of time, when it's a bad day. I then have to get up for a bit until pain forces me to sit again. Days like this are up and down and up and down till I just go to bed and sleep. I left and came home where I promptly went to bed. I took more pills when I got up and a couple of hours later I was calling the out of hours doctor to ask if I could take the morphine on top of the Tramadol I had taken. The answer was no. The doctor was really very nice and explained that Tramadol and Morphine are both opiates. Anyway, she did say I could take more after 4 hours instead of my usual 6 hours.

I didn't knit because I was in too much pain. I did watch The Andromeda Strain which as a superior made for tv programme we watched on DVD.I enjoyed and managed to stay still and ignore my body enough to follow the film.

There is no rhyme nor reason to it. I did not do much Friday, certainly nothing like walking or lifting. I can't remember the last time the pain was that bad and the pills not knocking it on the head.

Today I have to fill out forms for the government regarding my disabilities and health. I hate doing this. This is the third time for me. Hopefully this time they will write me off for life instead of 3 years. My disease is progressive, I won't get better, so really it would save much time and effort on all our parts. Strangely, I am written off for life as regards illness. I will get the incapacity for life. This is something different, this is for Disability on top. This is the one I had to fight for, and won before. Now i have to do it all over again. Hopefully though I will not have to fight this time as the situation is the same and I am physically worse than I was when I first applied. All I needed was the Blue Badge (disabled river parking etc) and had no idea it would involve all this bureaucracy. And they treat you as if you are a criminal from the outset, trying to defraud the government. The whole process is humiliating. Even the doctors find it infuriating because their competence is called into question too! I had to see a Government doctor for him to check that my 3 doctors were telling the truth! Even then they go it wrong and the panel lied saying there was no supporting medical evidence. There was, x-rays, and a neuro report which they chose to ignore. This is why I won my appeal.

These forms are so complicated that even John and I can't comprehend them fully so we have to have a professional form filler do it for us. Thank fully, my dear friend Linda (she bred Whitney) is one such person so we will spend much time on the telephone today with her while John writes it down. John has to write because I can't write any more. I can write but it takes so much effort and is still illegible!

I am going to give another service tonight. Not far away. I am looking forward to it. This is a place I can relax in and stay sitting. It is a purpose built church, not a hall.

I have some very attractive mandarin coloured cashmere to knit into a sweater for myself. I swatched a few days ago, the same time as I swatched the violet cashmere. After this, I am going to do something different, a waistcoat maybe. Maybe using the knitting machines version of weaving. Maybe not. But something different anyway.

More Buda below:





Post a Comment