SPONTANEITY

John has gone to Edinburgh today for a conference and I will not see him until Sunday evening. It makes the week seem very long as well as makes me feel insecure. I always think 'what if I fall over and can't get up?' or some such thing.

I had a dream about grief last night. I can't recall it all but know the theme was about how grief never leaves one, one carried it around like a suitcase that was tied to one by a chain. Or so it seemed in the dream. I think this was possibly triggered by a scene in Grey's Anatomy. Alex, one of the male characters that I do not like, expressed his grief. It was one of those scenes which makes me spontaneously cry. No warning, no lump in throat, just a sudden gush of grief. Hard to describe really, it's almost like something just takes a leap out me in a split second and I find myself feeling grief again. (I feel differently toward this character, Alex, now.)

I must be quite mad. I am knitting a pair of socks with Schaefer 'Anne' on 1.5mm needles!

James was fine at training last night. It appears then that it is the outside, specifically the breeze/wind, that he is afraid of. It was very windy the day of the fire and he was caught up in that.

I went for my swim this morning and whilst it was more difficult it went okay. The water was colder than usual and this made it more painful for me. I don't warm up, I get colder.


More photographs of Pest. This is the Budapest version of the Arc de Triumph. I think you may have gathered that I like sculpture / architecture / art. It amazes me what humans can create.