BACK TRACKING

When I started to us the morphine, my guts stopped working. So my Doc gave me a powder to take. Nothing happened for several days and then it happened-too often and too much! So I quit taking it. Especially as the morphine use is occasional.

Now I am back to going several times a day, suddenly and with noisy guts and pain. So I started to get worried again.

Well I recalled two things that allayed my fears last time the IBS was like this. One, when asleep my gut stopped messing around. A really good indicator that it isn't organic. Meaning if it stops during sleep, the problem can't be cancer, gal stones, infection, ulcers etc. The other thing is taking muscle relaxants. If the gut shuts up and you stop needing to go to the loo, this is also a good indicator. I still worry about it though! It is hard to ignore a cramping, noisy gut that keeps sending you to the loo. Even more difficult to believe it isn't anything but IBS. Despite the absence of symptoms when asleep and the muscle relaxant effectively stopping it. Trust issues again.

(you know, if you knew what I did to my body in 25 years of active anorexia/bulimia, you may not be surprised at my current health difficulties.)

I was unable to swim today as I felt completely exhausted yesterday and generally ill so knew I would have to have a lazy day toady. I do so HATE this. Oh I know I am lucky and I have no trouble filling my time on the days spent indoors and in my nightclothes. I just don't like being controlled either by others or by my bloody body.

So more to the point is why my IBS should be playing me up now.

It isn't that John is not here until Sunday although I am not comfortable whth that. I do think I am stressing over the disability forms and worrying that I might have another battle on my hands. Since my spinal arthritis has got worse and I can hardly use my hands to write now, plus I can do even less than when I first won the claim, I don't see why I won't succeed. Hopefully they will give me a life award instead of the 3 years at a time. My disease is not going to to go way. Plus with the CHD and FMS on top, I am ain't going to better but worse. I already have a lifetime incapacity award.

Now you can giggle at my expense. I was bathing a dog and needed to sit on the loo. All went well until I returned to the dog. I fell arse over tit right into the bath, much to Bridget's delight as she thought it was a game. You see, I had trouble pulling my trousers up and the braces got caught between my legs, thus I was tangled and almost mangled!

Who needs to drink?