Sunday, January 07, 2007

Dead or .....?

When we die, which we all do even though we rarely will admit that to ourselves, we will either be dead or we won't be dead. Both scenario's are very difficult, if not impossible, to comprehend.

How can we possibly just cease to exist? How can we possibly carry on existing without a body?

Mind boggling isn't it?

For myself, I much preferred the the idea that when we die, that is it, finito. Then I had an experience which told me otherwise. I had been in a coma and I dreamt that I met my Aunt, whom I knew to be dead but did not know that well. She was standing within a group of people. I could see her clearly thought the group were not that clear. My Aunt was well lit. Anyway, I found myself moving toward her. She held me in her arms briefly and then she turned my body so that I was facing away from her and said to me 'you have to go back, it is not your time'.

I awoke to find myself in a hospital bed with a breathing thing over my face and a drip in. I was furious. I pulled the mask off and ripped the drip out. As I did so, I recalled the pain of that cannula going in. Blood spurted out from where it had been. A nurse rushed over to me and tried to calm me down. She told me I was very lucky to be alive. I told her to f**k off.
I was not where I wanted to be at all. This was not oblivion.

When the anger subsided, I became terrified. Gut wrenchingly terrified. What was I to do? I can't live and I can't die. There was no where to go, no escape.

Since then, slowly but surely, I have grown to love my life. I have a very good one. More importantly, the way I was taught to think has been dealt with. I think differently now and have different beliefs. Hence I know that it is true that we experience life according to how we think.

I ditched the fundamentalist belief system I had. With the help of a deprogrammer. (Someone experienced enough to know how to undo the damage done by religious dogma/cults).

Getting back to the point, I have come to accept that we all survive physical death. It is not dependant upon our beliefs or how we lived. It is not dependant upon our religion. It is not dependant upon being good. It just is. There is no entrance fee to life after death other than dying! And I don't think it has anything at all to do with religion. I think it just is. It is just what happens.

Of course we take ourselves with us. So that pretty much determines what our first experiences of life without a body will be. We will not be able to hide anything. We will fit precisely where we fit. No pretending.

And no there will not be any Big Stick to either beat us into Hell or deliver us to Heaven! We will be wherever we allow ourselves to be, according to how we have thought, according to what we truly think.

Of course the very act of dying and finding ourselves 'born' into this new world will have a profound effect. And we will be able to reevaluate our thoughts. If we don't, if we reject the light, then we can find ourselves in darkness, yet only for as long as it takes for us to change our minds. No fiery pit for eternity.

None of us will escape the results of our thoughts and actions, be they good or not so. There are consequences, for good and not, and they will be inescapable.

More at another time.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Knitman,
I just found you. :)
I'm so enjoying your blog. I've only read your January comments so far and I can say we think a lot alike. OH NO!
Your birthday is the same as my younger sons. He is a sheet rocker and a hard rocker. He has is own band and is a wonderful singer.
I hope to find time to read through your 2006 and 2005 posts.
Thanks for the fun,
Susie in northern NY