Thursday, January 20, 2011


The thrust of my post More Than Are Pain In The Arse was to explain that I cannot always be thoughtful and polite and unemotional. I can overreact and be quite rude without meaning to be. Unfortunately, I failed to explain myself properly in that post. It seems that it was construed mainly as a call for people to be more sympathetic towards me which is NOT what I had in mind at all!

“The feeling of not being able to control one's own body is really very frightening and when one lives daily with this kind of frustration, it's practically a miracle that we have any sort of control over our "bitchiness"! And control it is, in some cases superhuman control, just to remain pleasant in the face of this pain that grinds us down.

Please do feel free to "lose it" whenever you need to - most of us do understand, and those that don't - maybe they will learn a bit of compassion....... “

The above is quoted from one of the commentators and describes very accurately what I was trying to say. The post came about because a dear friend got very upset with me when I stated that my feelings have been hurt. Not only was I in a great deal of pain that I also had the flu and I just overreacted. In turn, I was hurt and taken aback by their response to my hurt.I had to let it go as they were not going to understand.

I am not seeking carte blanche to behave badly or to say whatever I damn well please regardless of people’s feelings. Just that those who know me know that I never ever seek to hurt anybody and if I am being grumpy well you ought to know the reason by now and not take it so personally. It can make the friendship far too much hard work if I feel I have to walk on eggshells. To be frank it takes a great deal of energy, mental and emotional energy, just to get through each day and I just don’t have the time all the inclination to have to pet people as well. If you are in my life it is because I care about you and I have let you win and I trust you and with that comes the choice to overlook one’s little foibles.I am just asking the same in return.

1 comment:

Grannie said...

Colin, dear man, I'm so pleased that you quoted my previous comment, you have no idea!

Maybe between the two of us we can clearly show that it's not for sympathy you posted, but for understanding. It is difficult, I know, for someone who has never experienced constant pain to realize the utter despair that one covers up, especially in the dark hours when one is alone in the world, or so it seems.

I've said it before and I don't mind being accused of being a repetitious old fogey to say it again -

You ARE a perfectly lovely human being who has and is helping anyone who has the good fortune to "tune in" to your blog!