Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Tomorrow is a dog show so I will be unavailable from about 6pm tonight until Thursday.

I had a good swim this morning. I will do Whitney in a little while. I have been planning what to wear tomorrow. I have come to enjoy this part of the show preparation. My, how I have changed. Who knew I could be so vain? The weather forecast is not brilliant so my original idea is not going to work as I don't think wearing purple/lilac suede boots will work in the rain. I still think I want to go purple-trousers, waistcoat with dragonflies on it, and topped with a Panama and black or dark jacket. I bet I go for something entirely different!

I have done my Ebay, banking and email. I got an 'email nasty ' this morning. Someone had complained, not to me, but on my sock list, that information they wanted re my Ebay listings was not available. No email to me to ask, just a public complaint. I responded, publicly, and mildly. I received an 'email nasty' this morning from said person.

Do people have no shame? Do they never consider their own words/behaviour? Or is their ego too big? Yes, I know I have been known to be rude, reacted OTT, etc and when I do I apologise, normally without needing to be told, even if I feel I was provoked. If I have not it is because I don't think there is a need to. I am not so up myself that I don't consider I may have made a mistake when reviewing my own words/behaviour/reaction. Simply, perhaps an apology was appropriate and I deemed, wrongly, that it was not. I am human. It try not to let the behaviour of others dictate my own.

I also strongly object to people using my health against me or mentioning it when writing their tirades. My health is not the issue. If you don't like me, fine, your loss, but please leave my health out of it. It isn't a reason to feel you can't disagree with me or dislike me. I am not different to anyone else. I just happen to have physical problems along with millions of others.

You know, I am aware that people easily dismiss my thoughts and feelings as either being irrational due to being an abuse survivor or, now, because of being in pain 24/7 and drugged up , therefore I can't think str8.

So if I show irritation at someone's words or behaviour, or heaven forbid, disagree with them, it is not because they could possibly be at fault or wrong , but because I don't have legitimate thoughts and feelings for the reasons stated earlier. In other words, they use the same tactics that those who abuse do.

It doesn't bother me as much as it used to because I now realise that any person who uses either the abuse or my illness as a weapon against me, or as reason to dismiss me, is truly lacking integrity of thought and feeling and that is reason enough for ME to dismiss them.

So there. ;-)
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